Getting angry is better than being scared

I get angry inside quiet often but i have found a remedy for it.I exersice very hard 6 times a week,early in the morning and that seems to release the endorfins in my body that i need to calm down.Exercise is a great way to relieve pent up stress and anxiousness.

When i was younger and getting bullied by my brother and other kids i would play rugby to relieve some of my tension.

Working out does help in releasing anger. I can attest to that.

In the past, I would get so frustrated and angry at people(for what I perceived as constant rejection), and the world in general, I felt like punching my fist through the wall or hitting the nearest object. I did that once(smashed a TV set, too) and realized that the result was just a broken wall and a smashed TV set you can't watch. I also once kicked my refrigerator with my bare feet and believe I broke my large toe. When the adrenelin wore off, it hurt like heck and the toe was bent. Next day it was swollen and purple and I couldn't walk right for a couple weeks. I never got it set and it is still bent. It's like a battle scar from the days that I waged war with society in my head.

I still have my days of intense frustration and anger but am much better at releasing it in less destructuve ways. I don't break things now(feel like it sometimes) or do self harm.

Usually, though, when I get angry now I am not quite surewhat I should be angry at--if that makes any sense. I am just angry and there is sometimes a lot of intense self hatred or just a general feeling of contempt for the world--nobody in particular, just everything and everyone. A lot of this is the bipolar symptoms. When I get in a manic phase, I never have this euphoria others often get. I just amd raging internally. I can say with 100% certainty that if it wasn't for the medication, I would not be here today. Its the only thing that controls my emotions enough to keep me from going off the deep end.

I liken it to some women who talk about irritiability during hormonal phases of PMS. It's like a sudden shot of uncontrollable energy and emotion--always negative, never euphoric or positive. Where it comes from, I never could pin down as no incident or situation triggers it. I just get up one day and I am in a totally funky mood and it goes downhill from there. Thats when I would lose my inhibitions socially. I would snap at people at random--yell at someone at the drivethru window for taking too much time or messing up my order, calling someone an ugly bitch, etc..I would completely lose my shy inhibitions and just morph into a complete asshole. I don't do that much anymore. Behavioral therapy and medication have helped. I still have my days, though, you would not want to be around me.

This is part of the reason I think it unrelasitc to believe I could every hold down any type of relationship. Even getting past the emotional baggage and avoidant issues to get into a relationship, I don't think anyone out there could, or would, put up with my mood swings. Beign honest and objective, I can't say I would put up with that, either.

anger is a defensive reaction... it makes sense that there could be fear underneath it or that fear could lead to anger.

Bad dreams wrote:I get angry inside quiet often but i have found a remedy for it.I exersice very hard 6 times a week,early in the morning and that seems to release the endorfins in my body that i need to calm down.Exercise is a great way to relieve pent up stress and anxiousness.

exercise is a better way of venting anger than some, but its only really good as a short term solution.

-- Sun Jun 26, 2011 10:49 pm --

Existentialist wrote:Usually, though, when I get angry now I am not quite surewhat I should be angry at--if that makes any sense. I am just angry and there is sometimes a lot of intense self hatred or just a general feeling of contempt for the world--nobody in particular, just everything and everyone. A lot of this is the bipolar symptoms. When I get in a manic phase, I never have this euphoria others often get. I just amd raging internally. I can say with 100% certainty that if it wasn't for the medication, I would not be here today. Its the only thing that controls my emotions enough to keep me from going off the deep end.

I guess the answer there is that whatever your bipolar is caused by, how that manifests (euphoria or dysphoria) might depend on what your own personal issues are?

I have the same problem with anger (internal simmering rage) but it sure as hell isn't bipolar causing mine, lol. sometimes if i turn it inwards i'd have to stop and remember its anger, sometimes i dont know what im angry at either, until i figure it out, then its tended to get turned outwards. lol Its what has made me seem bipolar - swinging between 2 coping mechanisms, turning it in on myself and turning it out and acting on it.

I stopped trying to analyze it as it really doesn't make much sense. I just know there are periods where I am not 'right'. When I get like that, it never seems to have anything to do with situational problems. I do get angry when thinking about my issues but this is a different matter. I understand turning the anger inward, then outward, etc.

I think part of it is wanting to blame someone else -- My attitude when I get like that typically ias as such: "People suck. They are fiulthy creatures. Everyone is out to hurt me. They are the cause of me feeling bad, etc. Nobody wants to accept me." I can then turn it in n myself with the self loathing--"You are in this situation because you are a loser. Can you blame anyone for not wanting to accept you? Nobody wants anything to do with you because you are weird, ugly, geeky, etc. Its all your fault. " Thats when I need to watch it because it can turn to rage, exploding on my self, potential self-harm, cutting, etc...

This is when you need to be positive and think of anything positive you can. Or do something to take your mind off it. It's not productive and only takes you down.

I have a list of things to do when I feel low like this.

-- Go to the gym.

-- Feed the birds.

-- Take a walk.

-- Watch a movie.

I can't be around people when I get like that. Thats when I usually act like an ass and snap at people. This can have serious consqeuences at work. I usually work from home if I get like that(dialup computer). I will be so irritiable I am afraid I will end up saying something to someone I will regret. "worthless bitch", "Dumb asshole", etc.. I call it male PMS. It is not something I am proud of but I do get like that.

katana wrote:exercise is a better way of venting anger than some, but its only really good as a short term solution.

That has definitely not been my experience. Regular exercise has been one of the best long-term solutions I've found so far.

I think you need to exercise regularly. Just doing it when you are upset will only offer a temporary respite. At least this has been my experience. I try to get to the gym 3-4 days a week. Usually, I do the treadmill or ellicpitcal than do weights. I also have a class called TRX I attend once a week when I can. It really is a workout and I am good for at least the next two days.

When I don't exercise on a regular schedule, i tend to get very depressed easily, am more irritiable, and more prone to negative thoughts.Also, going to the gym at least gets you around people. I might not talk to most everyone and avoid others, but at least being around others is better than no social contact at all. I will talk to others, though, if they talk to me first. I have no problem talking with my instructor during the class but am very shy around the others.

I also love working out. Actually, eating a lot of raw food and exercising on a daily basis has made me feel better than most drugs I've taken for anxiety and depression.

Existentialist wrote:I stopped trying to analyze it as it really doesn't make much sense. I just know there are periods where I am not 'right'. When I get like that, it never seems to have anything to do with situational problems. I do get angry when thinking about my issues but this is a different matter. I understand turning the anger inward, then outward, etc.

that's fair enough, not everything has the same causes, and even if something popped up later that made sense of it, if the meds have helped in the mean time it sounds like you're making the right desicions.

Existentialist wrote:I think part of it is wanting to blame someone else -- My attitude when I get like that typically ias as such: "People suck. They are fiulthy creatures. Everyone is out to hurt me. They are the cause of me feeling bad, etc. Nobody wants to accept me." I can then turn it in n myself with the self loathing--"You are in this situation because you are a loser. Can you blame anyone for not wanting to accept you? Nobody wants anything to do with you because you are weird, ugly, geeky, etc. Its all your fault. " Thats when I need to watch it because it can turn to rage, exploding on my self, potential self-harm, cutting, etc...

This is when you need to be positive and think of anything positive you can. Or do something to take your mind off it. It's not productive and only takes you down.

I have a list of things to do when I feel low like this.

-- Go to the gym.

-- Feed the birds.

-- Take a walk.

-- Watch a movie.

Your list sounds good & positive glad it helps! Its not exactly like that for me, when i turn my anger in it just gets turned into depression. its all very underneath stuff, not conscious. i dont get the self-loathing stuff like that, though there may be some deeply buried self-hate its not active stuff like that, just makes me feel depressed, why i thought i was bipolar cause my moods would go up & down like that. i can stop feeling depressed by feeling angry. personally its always rage, but as long as i dont send myself high on anger & anxiety, i'm fine. the anger... i can inflict on others or on myself, or, just do my best to stay in control and whack something inanimate until i can figure out what's caused it, which is the option i go for nowadays lol

but whatever is causing it i know anger is hard to deal with. i reckon my anger problems play up when i feel threatened on some level, (tho it used to be pretty constant lol) from what you wrote maybe your anger is a protective reaction to feeling afraid people will hurt & reject you? being angry and seeing everyone that way seems a good way to avoid them and avoid hurt & rejection, and then self blame means you don't have to risk being hurt/rejected by rejecting/blaming yourself, without ever having to risk having it happen with others? just me guessing/trying, i dont know if that makes any sense or just sounds like rubbish! lol

Well, I think I sometimes get angry at others if I feel slighted, even in the least possible way--sometimes if I just get a dirty look(or what I think is a dirty look). For example, I was at the grocery store yesterday and checking out my food. The conveyor was full and this lady next in line started mashing hers stuff on the end of the conveyor with the smal amount of space available. SHe was looking at me like, "What's the holdup?". Anyways, she mashed my bread with her beer case and that ticked me off right there. Then when I was using the debit card swiper, it was taking a while to process and she started hemming and hawing and getting upset.

I was thinking, whats the point of trying to push your case of beer onto the conveyor and mashing other people's stuff? Wait until there is space. It won't go any faster. At first, I fealt badly over something that small, like I was being attacked and ridiculed personally. At first I felt badly then I got angry inside and was just thinking, "F Off you skank." Sometimes, depending on my mood, I just ignore things like that and it doesn't bother me mch. Other times, it will mess up the whole next hour and I will think about the interaction to the point of obsession. My thoughts are usually, "What did I do wrong? This person was putting me down and that means I am a loser, etc.. "

The average person probablky couldn't understand how something that small can set someone off but at times I can be ultra sensitive to any kind of thing I perceive as a personal attack. I have done it so much the feelings are automatic. It takes a lot of work to try to undo these reactions.

katana wrote:exercise is a better way of venting anger than some, but its only really good as a short term solution.

It all depends how hard you work out.When i leave the gym there is no anger or any issues about.There is a big sign in the gym and it reads "Pain is just weakness leaving the body".

-- Mon Jun 27, 2011 5:01 am --

neowhimsical wrote:I also love working out. Actually, eating a lot of raw food and exercising on a daily basis has made me feel better than most drugs I've taken for anxiety and depression.

I am glad that exersice has helped you focus on things better.The adrenaline after training is one of the best feelings in the world.