The down "mood"

Hey so this is my first post, on my first forum. So please forgive me if this just sounds like some random blabbaring. Well to start off with, im un-diagnosed AvPD, ADD, and depression. So that would make me a self-deserting avoident with a learning disablity witch non of witch has ever been treated. Ive done alot of research into the subject and i fit right in the critiria. I feel like there might be more to me than that tho. I really cant be sure, i feel like i cant even trust myself sometimes. About a year ago ive really been thinking about my personality and why i had such a hard time in social setting. Like ALL social settings. Its sometimes hard for me to be around my friends and little brother witch are the closes people i have. I dont know if any of you have this about you but sometime when i get in a down "mood" (im always in (it seems like) a downer mood than most around me, but sometimes i hit rock bottem, and sink 5 feet lower) I start having some kind of stuper aspect showing? im not really sure but sometimes i go into a "mode" where i just sit there, almost motionless. and i didnt realise this part until i had a "friend" mimic (being a dick i guess) how i was being. He sat there motionless, eyes staired at the screem, pretending to twich in the body. and the peice i didnt know about, he kept looking over at me, well not fixated on me but looking off to the side, where his perifeals could be used to see me. his eyes would go straight to the screen back to the same spot where he could see me in his perifs. He did it 3 times in a period of 3 seconds. That was of coarse an interperation of me. But that got me thinking if im doing that, then that would be horribly unconfortable for that other person. Is that me trying to make him as uncomfortable as i
am?
Well yeah ill end that their. Let me know if you have experianced anything like that. Im trying to figure myself out and any input will be apriciated. Its nice to have a place where i can acualy talk about stuff like this to people who might be able to relate.
P.S. sorry for the bad spelling lol

Welcome to the forum!

I would ask your friend if that's what you really do or if he was just horsing around. Or even more self-monitoring is in order.

There's several kinds of depression and different effects it can have. I remember some depressing days where I would just lay on the couch not wanting to do anything else but fall asleep. It was in those days that I figured out sleep can be a mood reseter. If you are depressed, chances are you will feel better after a period of sleep (that is, back to neutral which is loads better than depressed). I never had anyone else around me during those times, but I don't remember twitching and there wasn't any other people around to look at.

Wish you the best!

Hi and welcome!
Your friend...I guess he/she has good intentions but I understand that the way he expresses this intention is the one that makes me run away.
I´d been living a relapse last two months and I used to look like you, emontionless. Up to I know, it´s usual when someone is depressive to be in a state of apathic and find hard to feel anything, bad or good. I guess there are people who knows to hide better the nothing-happen mask but I can´t and people around me always realize.
Hope you feel better soon!

I can definitely relate. When I'm uncomfortable in a social situation (pretty much all the time) I speak in an extra deep voice and almost a monotone. Many, many, times I have had people do an 'impression' of me. The impression always consists of the deepest voice they can do, and short one word answers.

My issue is emotional distance, while yours is more depression, but it's a similar situation. And yes it just makes me feel more awkward than ever before.

Wow i like this site, the next day and i already have replys
Thank you guys i really apreciate it!

Its nice to know that im not the only one who acts like that. I wish i had a greater understanding of what im going threw so i could explain myself a little better. I usually twitch when im nervous, and when i get in a down mood i dont want to do anything. Then i feel like me not doing anything is just not allowed when with other people. When i just sit there, motionless, i just think about how im being and no matter how hard i try and gain control its just not within my reach. It dosnt help when i have people around me observing how im being. The thoughts just fly in, uncontrolaby. Sometimes so fast that i cant even conprehend what it was i just thought. and no matter how hard i try to change what im thinking, trying to go from internal thoughts to social thoughts i just cant. Not until i get so pissed at myself, or the situation that i just lash out at the first thing that i can get my thoughts around. Usually someone trying to start a argument with me when my negitive thinking has built up to a peak that i cant take it anymore. Then after i lash out, im usually into a more social thinking prossess. i dont know how much sence that makes but it happens. Im not an angry person what so ever, i acually let people walk all over me most of the time. I think its the standing up for myself that gives me a confidence boost for a lil bit? im not really sure. Im trying to get a better understanding of myself. Its just hard doing it alone. I have curtain people around me most of the time, but i dont talk much around them. I have an ex-(not girl friend cuz we just had a long fling) Trying to help me talk to people. I have alot of trust with her, i can open up pretty well. I would like to go see a counsiler, or even a theripest if i could but i dont know where to start. I dont have money to pay for something like that. Just to get diagnosed would be such a great help. Then i would know exactly what im up against.

Thanks again for everyone that has replyed!

Hold on, your un diagnosed avpd, add, an depression. There is no such think as being undiagnosed , in otherwords you diagnosed yourself. Come on buddy give me a break ,come back when a shrink gives you all this dianosis , stop playing doctors an nurses its childish.

manic666 wrote:Hold on, your un diagnosed avpd, add, an depression. There is no such think as being undiagnosed , in otherwords you diagnosed yourself. Come on buddy give me a break ,come back when a shrink gives you all this dianosis , stop playing doctors an nurses its childish.

90% of the people on this board are self-diagnosed. Most people with a social anxiety disorder wouldn't want to see a psychologist, and that would be especially true for AvPD.

Your "tough love" post is extremely unhelpful.

Yes i am "self-diagnosed" sorry i used the wrong term. I understand i am not a doctor. I understand i need to get diagnosed by someone who acually know what he's talking about. I just dont have the money man.

I think most people get an official diagnosis when they've had a crisis. Believe me, it's much better to skip that and figure it out on your own before you've hit the point of becoming completely hopeless.

There is nothing wrong what so ever about "self Dx" in this forum. The Internet is very helpful in finding what they think fits their Mental Profile. Post all you like, I am sure you will find many people here that you can relate and support you.
Welcome to the forum!
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