Changing appearance as a defence against self loathing.

Apologies for coming across ranty and stuff. Your use of the word "failure" tipped something off in me and I knee-jerked.

Don't apologize - i really appreciate your comments.

I felt like I had to say something, because you're a good person and you shouldn't be reduced to feeling so lowly about yourself.

No-one here should, for that matter.

Of course that's a hell of a lot easier said than done for anybody with AvPD.

I think a lot of us here feel this way. Low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority are very common with AvPD.

You raised some very good points, such as the definition of a creepy male quite often seems to be; a friendly, well meaning male who's less than dashingly handsome.

Its very sad that this happens. It makes a person feel ashamed of themselves for no reason. I find that the rules are different depending on your physical appearance. I hate to say this but I resent the 'freedom' of attractive people.

That's a large part of the reason I look down most of the time and where possible avoid looking at women.

I walk with my head down and hardly ever make eye contact. I have been told that it makes me look like an easy victim. It started early in life for me because of the acne - i didnt want anyone to see my face.

Also, I didn't construe any of your comments as coming from a position of hatred, or dislike of men in particular and I wasn't trying to argue against that - apologies for giving that impression.

I wasn't anything you said - i just always feel nervous about that. I have so little experience with men - i have only had one male friend in my life. Sometimes i feel like i dont act properly around men and i probably misinterpret things they say and do a lot.

I've experienced it from both, and for some pathetic reason, to this day, walking by groups of girls always brings me back to being a teenager with braces and glasses, and being jeered. And I feel like utter $#%^.

Its like we can never escape that awkward teen years. Even though i am in my 30s now, i still feel 15.

Anyway, I hope in time you begin to get a much greater level of self esteem. You're a good person, you're smart, eloquent and are deserving of a much better sense of self worth - and the associated better quality of life that will bring.

Thank you for aying that. I am going to therapy so that might help, but i cant help but feel that if i could just meet someone who likes me then i would have 'proof' that i am not totally without worth.