not managing

I'm angry most of the time. That's probably bad but I have more reasons than most of the people around me. I have the right to overreact when I'm blamed for everything. I'm totally fuming when my mother says I'm mentally ill. I'm NOT. I have some issues but try to be completely normal after years of sexual abuse! When someone says sth offensive, I always let it affect me, even if that thing is untrue. And I really try my best to show that person how she hurt me and hurt her even more. I don't forgive nor forget. I still remember what some psycho bitch told me in July and it still pisses me off. I know my constant anger isn't good for me, but what, should I let them get away with tormenting me? Never mind. Most of the time I type very angrily and I know people around me sense that I'm furious. I regret that I behaved so politely when I was in mental hospital, maybe that's why they didn't give me any meds. I had a cold then and I was prescribed vit. c and calcium and they acted as if these meds were the only thing that stopped me from killing everyone there. I had to swallow them in their presence. AS if I were insane! I tricked them most of the time. Summing up, I'm ANGRY.

Hi there.


I know that you're speaking of years of sexual abuse being part of the reason that you're so angry.

Have you addressed that in therapy? If you have, why do you feel the therapy is not or has not been effective? If you have not addressed this in therapy, would you be willing to give it a try?

Spending your life being angry is like running on a neverending treadmill. I hate to see someone do it to themselves, but I will not sugarcoat it and say that you cannot - it is your right to do so if you please.

If your mother accuses you of being mentally ill, but you are not, then why do you wish you had acted differently in the psych ward to get meds?

It is standard procedure in ANY type of inpatient ward, that you must be observed taking the medications that you are given. That wasn't something that was aimed or done only for you.

I'd like to try to help you, but it's up to you if you would like to start working on modifying your behavior or dissipating some of your anger.

<3

AMP

That post was a mistake, your reply only made me more angry. I don't have strenght nor patience to explain anything

Well, then I think it bears meaning to ask you what you would like to get out of being on a public forum meant for support and healing?

Many here are looking for answers, people to offer advice, etc. If everything that people post is going to make you angry, then perhaps it may be appropriate to ask you if you would prefer to start a blog for yourself on here so that you can vent your anger, without biting back at every person attempting to help you.

Please make a decision and let us know.


AMP

You make me look like an idiot and ask stupid questions, what do you expect? It doesn't matter anymore, you're gonna ban me in no time anyway.

I have made suggestions to you, and have asked questions to try to get a feel for how we could offer support to you.

Your negative responses have been noted.

Are you trying to get banned?


AMP

TRYING! i WANTED HELP AND SUPPORT, ALL I GOT WAS ATTACKING ME, INSULTING AND THREATENING. IT'S NOT MY GOAL TO BE BANNED BUT YOU PLOT AGAINST ME, DON'T YOU, YOU ALL ARE AGAINST ME.

Everyone is against you? What? I find this completely unwarranted. Can you possibly copy and paste the statements that you find that make you feel this way?

I have seen your other thread in the SI forum, and I'm quite disturbed by the fact that you have accused people of calling you a liar (they have not), nor is anyone ganging up on you (everyone is offering support and you're balking at the advice).

I'm not sure what the real issue is here, but I will not feed into cantankerous behavior, nor will I further it and allow it on these boards.

Please take this into account.


AMP

yes, more threats. I don't care, you are banning me anyway, there, reject me like everyone else. I used to think this time it'd be differetn- little did I know! One just can't trust anyone, right?

Nienawiść what are you doing dude? Why are you pushing all of us away. We are just trying to help you? I standby what I said, in the other thread and agree with missali, no one has called you a liar. People just want to help, but you're just alienating yourself. Your anger is misdirected and misguided. If you want help, you need to change your attitude. If you want to be banned, so that the site has 'failed' you and it becomes another 'thing' that has let you down, then keep p'ing the mods off. They are human and have feelings, as you do, but be aware people ARE OFFERING YOU HELP!