by hua » Sun Mar 23, 2014 10:39 pm
i have a feeling this is a troll topic, but i will answer anyway. i will go with the most obvious answer - anxiety, fear. i remember when i had first sex, i couldnt get it up for like 5~10 minutes. it never happened again, but at that moment i knew exactly what the reason was. so try it out - take some mild anxiolytic (even alcohol should do) and try it then. ofc dont get completely wasted because you wont get it up either way then. also i know a person that solved that problem by always having sex with music in the background, to move the focus.
if you wanna avoid medications of any kind, i would suggest the behavioral approach. pay a prostitute to watch you masturbate while you watch a porn, since you can get it up then. eventually you can progress with letting her touching it a little or putting it in her mouth. if all goes well, proceed with small steps. if not, go back a step. also avoid cheap prostitutes because price matters. another mistake, you are changing them too much. for this to be successful, find a few you like (tops), and always do it with them. dont feel ashamed of anything because you have no idea what people ask of them quite often, this isnt nearly as pervert as it gets.
also the imbalance between the libido and the ability to have sex can cause you to project negative impulses into them (thats why alcoholics beat wives on a regular basis). you need to understand this is not their fault and stop hating them. also you need to understand this isnt your fault either, its a minor problem and it happens a LOT. as all phobias, it also has a good prognosis so dont worry much and it will be much easier!