Epically Schizoid Moments

anyone care to share one of those moments when your pd just comes out to shine? like when you pretended to care about your grades and study so you could be away from your family, pretended you weren't single when that nice-looking person of the opposite gender asked you out, or said you had the stomach flu so you wouldn't have to attend a party? post 'em here! >:3

me first!

i was in a debate class in high school (my parents made me take it to help with my social issues >8( ). at the end of the year, we went around the class and everyone had to give a compliment and a criticism to everyone else in the class. and the criticism i got from every single person in the class, i mean EVERYONE, was that i was too quiet and that i should talk more. i was proud too. XD

anyone got any stories?

Last year I wanted to update my passport, so I filled-in all the paperwork, and then got to the part where it talks about getting a guarantor to endorse your photographs. The guarantor has to have known you for at least 12 months (and can't be a parent, child, spouse etc.) There is nobody I was in contact with then (or am currently in contact with) who has known me for that length of time. I rang the passport office up and asked if there is any way around this criteria. They said there wasn't. Then I wondered whether I should pay some homeless person to make a false statement and endorse my photos. But that seems really dodgy. So then I got apathetic and thought I'll worry about it when I need to go overseas. I still have the forms and still don't know how I am going to get around that bureaucratic hurdle.

^^ I also have the same problem all the time.

Platypus wrote:Last year I wanted to update my passport, so I filled-in all the paperwork, and then got to the part where it talks about getting a guarantor to endorse your photographs. The guarantor has to have known you for at least 12 months (and can't be a parent, child, spouse etc.) There is nobody I was in contact with then (or am currently in contact with) who has known me for that length of time. I rang the passport office up and asked if there is any way around this criteria. They said there wasn't. Then I wondered whether I should pay some homeless person to make a false statement and endorse my photos. But that seems really dodgy. So then I got apathetic and thought I'll worry about it when I need to go overseas. I still have the forms and still don't know how I am going to get around that bureaucratic hurdle.

wow, platypus... that sounds like a horrible mess. XD silly nons and their making rules based on the assumption that there aren't super asocial but trustworthy people out there.

I faked 'bronchitis' for a month and a half my sophomore year of high school. I just didn't want to go. I had to give it up when my mom took me to a specialist who noticed I wasn't coughing when he put the camera up my nose and down my throat. My mom got offended when he suggested she take me to a psychologist. She didn't want to admit that I had tricked her, and still wont 18 year later. I think she was more worried about how the hell she was going to explain that to everyone than she was that I had pulled one over on her.

I've had chronic migraines since the age of three which have saved me from numerous social occasions since then. I used to always fake them especially in high school.

I visit the gym on almost a daily basis as part of my therapy and people there always take it personal when I don't talk at all(thank god for headphones ). Sometimes I attract unwanted attention from people hyped up on endorphins, which almost always leads to some comment about my quietness. I then explain my muscles aren't just for show and along with a flat stare it normally does the trick xp

Last year I wanted to update my passport, so I filled-in all the paperwork, and then got to the part where it talks about getting a guarantor to endorse your photographs. The guarantor has to have known you for at least 12 months (and can't be a parent, child, spouse etc.) There is nobody I was in contact with then (or am currently in contact with) who has known me for that length of time. I rang the passport office up and asked if there is any way around this criteria. They said there wasn't. Then I wondered whether I should pay some homeless person to make a false statement and endorse my photos. But that seems really dodgy. So then I got apathetic and thought I'll worry about it when I need to go overseas. I still have the forms and still don't know how I am going to get around that bureaucratic hurdle.

Heh, I have that problem with resume's and applications. They want something like four references...and I have...two? Three maybe? And I really hate calling my past bosses and asking if they will let me use them. Luckily I had a really good boss and I've never failed to get a call back. I don't think I'll ever have a boss that good again, it's unfortunate.

I've gotten the "shy" complement a lot, which actually used to surprise me, because I never really viewed myself as shy. Even before I knew I was schizoid I just thought it was weird people thought I was "shy" when really I just don't have a reason to talk to most people.

I'm really lucky, I don't have problem with social situations, I think I just really don't care enough about what other people think to feel nervous or awkward.

Probably my most "Schizoid" moment was this year at school. There was this one girl who seemed really obsessed with bullying people for some reason. (And this isn't high school, it is college mind you. I can't even fathom why people would bother trying to bother other people, especially at that age.) She had been tormenting a lot of my friends, though I for the most part escaped her because I'm quiet enough to just not give her any fuel, but she decided to try to get me into it one day in the bathroom. IIRC, it went like:

Twit: So, you're friends with Jane Doe.
Me: Yeah.
Twit: She's an xyz.
Me: Yeah.
Twit: So I guess that means you're an xyz too, huh?
Me: No.
Twit: If you associate with them, then you are one.
Me: Ok.
Twit: Ok?
Me: *shrug*
Twit: I bet you're a pqrs too.
Me: Ok.
Twit: I bet you lmnop.
Me: If it makes you happy to think that I won't disabuse you of that notion.
Twit: Who the hell talks like that?
Me: I just did. By the way, we have class in three minutes, is there anything else you'd like to add?
Twit: You know, everyone thinks your weird.
Me: I am weird.
Twit: ...
Me: See you in class. And don't forget a number two pencil, we have a test.

She never really talked to me after that. I still don't get it, it seemed like a waste of time randomly accosting people in the bathroom.

I struggle to pinpoint the kind of event in my life you'd want to hear about...
Well, when I was a participant in 2010 Russian census, we had two condominium high-towers between me and my friend: we were working in pairs. So, visiting the first five flats, I established an optimized order for filling in all of the forms. Ask the questions, go away. Then, there happened flat with a woman in it. I asked her: do you have children? She started to sob incoherently and told me to go away: her only son had died recently. I considered several alternatives, but just went with the one I liked. I looked her straight in the eyes and politely, but firmly forced her to continue the interview. Finished my share of flats with the same unemotional efficiency.
The detachment from empathy is useful... sometimes, at least.

Noelle_Winters wrote:Me: If it makes you happy to think that I won't disabuse you of that notion.
Twit: Who the hell talks like that?
Me: I just did. By the way, we have class in three minutes, is there anything else you'd like to add?
Twit: You know, everyone thinks your weird.
Me: I am weird.
Twit: ...
Me: See you in class. And don't forget a number two pencil, we have a test.

Ur awesome

I used "migraine excuse" to avoid parties too.

I also used my younger brother:

Someone: will you come to the party?
Me: No, I have to take care of my brother you know...
Someone: Isn't he 10? He's old enough to stay home alone for a few hours.
Me: No, he isn't.

(it was good that my parents thought so too )

Studies:

Grandpa: will you come for a walk with us?
Me: no, I have to study...
Grandpa: you're such a good girl. Duty always comes first.
Me: yeah...

Avoiding men (pretending I'm stupid):

Guy: are you with anyone right now?
Me: With you at the moment
Guy: no, I mean in general
Me: in general?
Guy: yeah, in general
Me: in general I'm with a lot of guys, like x, y, z
Guy: I mean "as a pair"
Me: we are in a pair right now.
Guy: I mean in general, as a pair
Me: I don't get it.
Guy: nevermind...