Switching - how long does it take?

I've been disociating a lot latley and there's been a couple weird things going on with me. When I switch, my body feels like cement and I feel really heavy/tingly. I feel like I'm moving like a robot and I feel really detached. I've been "stuck" in this feeling for several hours recently, and I was wondering if it's just taking this long to switch because I've been subconciously fighting it? (I don't like the feeling of switching because it feels like I'm loosing control of myself.)

-- Wed Jun 27, 2012 10:41 pm --

Also, (unrelated) I was wondering if this sounds possible: I think my alters are coming out because they can, not because they were triggered....does this sound possible?

Personally, I found the more I fought it, to remain in control, the longer the struggle and also increase in pain. Switching feels different pending on who's trying to come forward. Sometimes I feel 5'9, and my perception is off, (as I'm short), other times I get really, really hot, or icy cold dripping feelings down my face, or...okay, lots of ways.

I don't like the feeling of switching because it feels like I'm loosing control of myself.

I hate that feeling. Would practicing relaxing the control when you have sometime or in a safe place so you can get accustomed to the feeling help? (Like baby steps.)

I think my alters are coming out because they can, not because they were triggered....does this sound possible?

Yeah, would you say you are relaxing control or open to the possibility to their input more so?

Hopefully more folks will chime in

I remember trying to hold back what I now realize was Jack trying to take over. Yuck, it was a horrible feeling. And I can relate well to that fear of losing control. I think we're talking about fear, right? In addition to it feeling weird and improper for me to allow some unknown or barely known person to take over my body, a primary fear was I wouldn't come back. When I looked at that fear, I saw it was unfounded. Once the DID was proven, I had to admit that the alters I had met posed no danger to me. I had read enough to know that achieving positive communication and trust with them was my only viable option. This was clear in biography after biography after biography of people with DID that I read.

I know you realize that you're not the whole pie. You're a piece of it. I seem to recall you have some capable alters. Parts of you who don't just cause you trouble but handle situations effectively and, from one point of view, are decent people who live in your body just like you. I don't know your system but surely trusting other parts of yourself, including them in your life, is a goal worth moving toward.

I think my alters are coming out because they can, not because they were triggered....does this sound possible?

Yes, definitely. Many of mine come out whenever they feel like it. Whenever we're not at work, it's okay to take over because these are the rules I/we set up. Spending time in the body is absolutely our "recipe" for health and we have to push some like Quato or Marc to do it. I still hog the body too much but afterwards I know I'm the one that's broken the rules. Although after we've become aware of them most are out at least a few times a week, there have been waves when a particular alter has been highly active. Jack was the first one out for months. Next was Little John and the twins, recently Dan, now the newest Carter. Others have had periods where they were more active but not the first to pop in.

Their time in the body has been healing for them and all of us. It's like they've needed to be themselves to work through the pain -- not in therapy but in living. And they always have the support of their "brothers" here. There's a lot to be said for doing regular stuff day to day, sometimes fun, sometimes mundane. It's as if spending cumulative time in the here and now makes the trauma a much smaller part of what's up for them. The more time in the body, the more self-confident and self-expressive. Fortunately, my life allows this sort of "indulgence" but we've found it really doesn't take a lot of time. Just the chance to be themselves.

I doubt this would work for everybody's system but I'd bet it could work for some. Mine so far is composed of fifteen different people, no fragments, so expressing one's self and one's individuality feels vital for us. In any case, through reading books and hearing from others here, we've learned that each system seems has its own rules, even with all the similarity.