I am pedophile

Triggering is when someone reads/sees/hears or smells something or someone and it reminds them of something traumatic that someone did to them or that they did to someone else or to themselves.

Like if someone was abused, dealt with it as best they could then moved on with their life they might hear someone say something like a crude joke for example years later and it would remind them of what happened to them and they would feel strong emotions about it freaking them out for a little while.

Or it could be someone used to be a pervert who is triggered back into his old ways by seeing something on a TV show that reminds him of the things he used to do.

Triggers can be seemingly overwhelming for people at the time because there is a lot of emotion and the head spins so it is useful to remember what to do if you feel you have been triggered; like try to calm down and don't do anything until you have calmed down, take a walk or a sit down out of sight of the trigger and try to remember how you resolved feeling that way or making bad decisions when you were recovering from the original trauma and think about how you can deal with the trigger in future without you temporarily losing your sense of well being or common sense.

kdb wrote:Thanks for the kind words. By the way, I haven't seen this answer anywhere on here. But what does "Triggering" mean??? I see it all over this section.

Thanks

KDB

It's a term in psychology - see here. It has the potential to be overused, put forward in circumstances that the 'overuser' feels ought to trigger emotions associated with trauma, the operative word 'ought' referring to some normative framework the overuser has adopted or constructed for themselves. Personally I think it's overused on this section of the site. It's more at home in the abuse or PTSD sections for trauma-related emotions rather than general disquietude or anxiety surrounding sexual urges one won't be able to act on. That said, some abuse victims come and read threads here, so perhaps we should have 'may trigger' on all threads. But then we start nannying people, and perhaps they should just use their common sense.

Patrickcon wrote:a pedophile is not hard to spot. they are like elephants in the room. People probably suspect something is wrong with you. if anyone had a curiosity to figure it out, believe me it wouldn't take them long to see that you are a pedophile stereo type. people talk and gossip like wild fire right behind your back. I am going to assume you don't have many friends and spend much of your time alone. people notice when you start lurking and creeping around children maybe at the mall or park. I am also going to assume you are the only pedophile that you know as finding comradeship in this sickness would not lead you to use a forum to safely admit this. don't fool yourself. you can't hide. trust me people already suspect you are weird, I have no doubt about that.

I know I'm going to respond to an obvious troll but lets do this for fun shall we!

I'm a pedophile, attracted mostly to girls 6-12yo (sometimes even younger). Now how would you spot me in practice? Do you have some mental list of the characteristics of pedophiles? Do they have to be over-weight, wear sun-glasses (like the McClellan guy), do they have to have a beard (you know the pedophile beard. We all must have one for sure!)?

I interact with children every now and then, occassionally taking a babysitting job or working with kids in other fashion. I love kids and they are often very fond of me and never have I even considered to do anything inappropriate with them do you know why? Because I don't want to risk their welfare.

My self-control is near perfect; whenever I help a child to tie her shoelaces or aid her with her homework I do this with genuine compassion in mind, since the sexual thoughts I have toward children are so deeply suppressed at these moments. The idea of being that "creepy guy" preying on children seems incredibly absurd as if I wasn't a pedophile at all! So that's definitely not the way you'd spot me. Also, not that this matters or defines human beings, I'm rather handsome, (at least that's what women say and can be implied from their several attempts to hook up with me) so if in your mind you've envisioned every pedophile as ugly you are unlikely to spot me this way either.

I have 2-3 trustworthy friends two of whom I've known for over a decade and a lot more "average" friends I hang and spend time with during the week. Yes, I do spend a lot of time alone but I'm glad I'm not dependent on company and actually enjoy independent life as well.

I don't "lurk" around children at mall or park. Yes I do go to malls, occasionally taking a brief look at cute little girls, but alas everyone else looks at passers-by too so nothing uncommon here.

And what's so risky about admitting you are a pedophile on this forum? After all its completely legal to be sexually attracted to children (something which must annoy you tremendously seeing how big an obssession pedophiles is to you).

Btw if people suspected I was weird let alone a pedophile why would they all be so willing to let me babysit their children?

Why you so mad?

Forgive my ignorance on the issue and if this idea is stupid but for someone with the affliction would it not be possible to date a petite young looking women instead (within the confines of a fully consensual loving relationship of course) ?

Man_is_an_Island wrote:Forgive my ignorance on the issue and if this idea is stupid but for someone with the affliction would it not be possible to date a petite young looking women instead (within the confines of a fully consensual loving relationship of course) ?

Might work for some to some extent, but sexual/romantic attraction isn't just about looks. What about personality? Children behave very differently to adults.

But if we restrict it to looks, would you date an old woman if she looked a fair bit younger than her age? Would you sleep with this, for example?

Ya know, anonymity on the internet is a complete myth!! The admins on this site have everyone's IP address, which can be used to track any 1 of us right to our front door. And deleting things doesn't work either. I can do a search on a username I used at a board 10 years ago and find archived copies of all the threads I posted to under that username. And that's just what the average person can do. The GOV can do alot more. They have keyword sniffers that look like normal netbots but they dump all the information they find into a database that includes routing and location information from source to destination and every hop inbetween.
To be truly anonymous you have to know exactly what you're doing! And you being here saying what you're saying shows me that you don't know what you'd have to know. Otherwise you wouldn't have even bothered. Nobody would go through all the trouble to ensure real anonymity in order to make a confession like this.........jus sayin.....

The reason I'm saying this is because in the event that the confessor does act on his impulses and chooses to harm a child and is charged with the crime, whether his victim is alive or dead during the trial, this thread may very well serve as evidence to secure a conviction. I've been through a murder trial like that. From the other side. My sister was raped and murdered by someone like you. And I can promise you that they leave no stone unturned when pursuing a conviction for a crime of this magnitude!!!

...so yet another reason not to act on one's sexual desires, but frankly not the most important reason.

Confessor wrote:So, I wanted to ask you: is a pedophile something as monstrous as our society claims?

Have you heard of this acclaimed French illustrator of children's books, "Marcel Marlier"? Can you find his work with Google? In France he is beloved, a national hero. I'm sure no one will use the "p" word to him; and he was for his whole life focused on leggy little girls.

Even I making a huge effort everyday

No effort is required. Don't try.

to not

We can't do negatives. Thinking in negatives tends toward emotional hurt.

make the wrong thing,

"Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field -- I'll meet you there."

- Rumi

am I a disturbed pervert

Labels.

that must be locked up?

You might get locked up? Up to you. Advice giving is so annoying, but I'd suggest... invest your love of kids in sports coach, school teacher, physiotherapy, parent, fashion, pediatric nursing, and so on rather than prison.

You might get locked up? Up to you. Advice giving is so annoying, but I'd suggest... invest your love of kids in sports coach, school teacher, physiotherapy, parent, fashion, pediatric nursing, and so on rather than prison.

Just to clarify this. Are you suggesting that a self proclaimed pedophile with admittedly violent tendencies toward children put himself in a position where he has to deal with children on a daily basis?
If so, that just doesn't seem like very sound advice to me.
Confessor, if you value your life and your freedom, DON'T DO THAT!!!

LivingSoul wrote:I'd suggest... invest your love of kids in sports coach, school teacher, physiotherapy, parent, fashion, pediatric nursing, and so on rather than prison.

I'm with Gordon in this particular case. It's not love Confessor is professing.