ephebophilia & hebephilia or obsessive thoughts?

i'm a guy in my late 20s who's been dealing with a few issues........i normally find girls and women in their mid-to-late teen's up to their early 30s attractive (and men over about 20) but i'm disturbed and worried whenever i find anyone under 16 attractive. i sometimes spend time on forums for people attracted to teen celebrities but i feel very guilty after every visit. i recently was very aroused by someone who was only 12, and started masterbating which really disturbed me and made me very guilty for having an erection/being attracted.........it made me panicky and wonder if i was turning into a peado even though im not normaly attracted to girls that age........

also i sometimes have unwanted intrusive thoughts about younger girls but theyre very unwanted and i wish it would stop. im not intrested in anyone who shows NO signs of puberty.......

the funny thing about this is that i dont want to have any sexual or emotional relationship with anyone under about 20 or so! it's just fantasy and masterbation but that feel's terrible by it self...........

First off, that is not terrible by itself. There are plenty of people here who regularly have sexual fantasies and masturbate about teenagers and even younger children. They aren't bad people, and there's nothing wrong with them for feeling what they feel.

That said, hebephilia and all the age based paraphilias are about what you are primarily attracted to. A few fantasies, and even occasionally masturbating to completion over someone in that age category a few times doesn't mean you have that paraphilia.

I'm no professional, but that guilt and fear seem like a good candidate for what's causing those intrusive thoughts.

Hey,

I have a similar issue. I am a woman almost 25 now and I have obsessive thoughts about younger men in their teens. I too have sexual fantasies and dreams. I am a little bit worried about it myself and that's why I joined this forum. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone and I feel the same way.

-hopelesslyflawed

that does help a litte but i dont know if it IS ok.

Here is the issue.... It seems as if you're dealing with POCD, because you're worried you found a girl as young as 12 attractive and you are questioning if that is okay.

Now, part of what causes this is due to genetic mutations in Biology, and as well as different nature and nurture issues, girls are starting to go through puberty earlier. Also, sex is becoming less taboo in society, and in the media, girls that young want to mimic a lot of what they see on television, movies, and the internet. This means that girls as young as 11 sometimes are looking for ways to make themselves not only older, but also sexy and attractive to guys.

What their young and naive conscience isn't telling them, is that they are making themselves appealing to older men as well, some of which just are into looking and no touching, but also ones who want to take advantage of them.

The point being, I don't think there is really anything wrong with you finding teens attractive, because you don't seem to have any interest in dating anyone that is under-age. Many heterosexual men claim they don't take a look at young women that appear to be 13-17 and underage out in public. There is a word for them, and they are called liars.

Also, keep in mind, legally the only reason they make the age of consent 18 is so they can protect young people who just started in puberty from being taken advantage of by violent sex offenders. It wasn't so they could point fingers at and shun people who find them attractive. That is what society does.

You didn't do anything wrong by finding someone young attractive, and hebephilia and ephebephilia are not even considered mental disorders.

JackM678 wrote:Many heterosexual men claim they don't take a look at young women that appear to be 13-17 and underage out in public. There is a word for them, and they are called liars.

Hey, I take exception to that. 13 is way too old for me to be interested.

JackM678 wrote:Also, keep in mind, legally the only reason they make the age of consent 18 is so they can protect young people who just started in puberty from being taken advantage of by violent sex offenders.

No, the reason they made the age of consent 18 in the US (as low as 16 depending on the state) was because a bunch of religeous conservatives in the 1910s freaked out about the idea of women being in the workplace. They were so frightened by the idea that women might meet men and have sex with them rather than get married it would be the downfall of civilization. That's why the age of consent in so many states is older than the legal marriage age.

to update....

i still feel really guilty, even when its teens (and i still feel guilty for finding that one girl attractive). i tend to masterbate to teens (celebs or nonnude) but feel terrible afterwards, i worry people are gunna find out and realise im a 'pervert'...... even though i have no interest in being in a relationship w/some1 that young, its just fantasies. im also aroused by written erotica or descriptions of people in that age category or sometimes younger but its still fantasy, imagining it actually happening does nothing for me and disgust's me

Let me approach this from another angle, since I know getting outside our own heads is hard for people to do.

Should I feel guilty for masturbating to six year olds?

It's just fantasy for me. I've never touched a child inappropriately. I'm not going to. So should I feel guilty because of what I'm attracted to in your opinion?

YouthRightsRadical wrote:Let me approach this from another angle, since I know getting outside our own heads is hard for people to do.

Should I feel guilty for masturbating to six year olds?

It's just fantasy for me. I've never touched a child inappropriately. I'm not going to. So should I feel guilty because of what I'm attracted to in your opinion?

its hard because yes its fantasy but its associated w/abuse and i dont want to worry about that

If liking girls under 16 isn't your usual focus I don't think you really have a problem as long as you know where to stop. I think the safest thing is for you to just stay with these fantasies about the young female celebrities and don't look up any child porn or look at nude pics of girls under 16 because that could plunge you deeper to the point of obsession and even put you in danger of legal problems. There's nothing that weird about being attracted to young female celebrities, I remember the first time it happened to me when I was visiting my parent's house and they were watching a program called "American Juniors" which was like an American Idol singing contest show for teenagers and there was this attractive teen singer who was 13 and wow how I felt awkward because I couldn't stop staring at her. Don't be so critical of yourself, girls as young as 12/13 are already showing off their legs and wearing lipstick and doing everything else to be found sexually desirable so it is only natural that when men over 18 see this they can become aroused even if liking girls under 16 isn't their main interest.