ephebophilia & hebephilia or obsessive thoughts?

no, i'm typically attracted to girls/women 15+ but the younger celebs have a sort of forbidden friut feeling .....

if i go out im ONLY attracted to adults, its only from a distence that im attracted to teens but i still feel guilty abt the celebs, fantasy's and stories ..... online i primarily look @ teens & yng adults but id never want a relationship with anyone below 20........

im not intrested at all in under aged nudes or cp, its illegal and cp is a turn off anyway....... never seen it and dont want to.......

balustrade wrote:no, i'm typically attracted to girls/women 15+ but the younger celebs have a sort of forbidden friut feeling .....

if i go out im ONLY attracted to adults, its only from a distence that im attracted to teens but i still feel guilty abt the celebs, fantasy's and stories ..... online i primarily look @ teens & yng adults but id never want a relationship with anyone below 20........

im not intrested at all in under aged nudes or cp, its illegal and cp is a turn off anyway....... never seen it and dont want to.......

Then you will be fine, a lot of adult men think those teen celebs are hot, they are secretly thinking to themselves that they desire to do sexual things to those girls even while they might only say "She's pretty" with a very uninterested sound in their voice if they are in the presence of other people and the celebrity girl's name is mentioned or she's on TV. These adult men deny how strongly they are aroused by those girls because they don't want to be called a "pedo".

balustrade wrote:its hard because yes its fantasy but its associated w/abuse and i dont want to worry about that

I've often heard that being attracted to or fantasising about sexual intimacy with someone under a given age (often either an age of consent or a biological threshold such as menarche) is immoral on the grounds that acting on that attraction/fantasy would constitute abuse. But that argument doesn't hold. Angelina Jolie is so far out of my league that any real-life sexual encounter with her would have to be forced - an immoral act. But if, when masturbating, I fantasise about her enjoying sexual intimacy with me, could that fantasy be said to be immoral? And if I'm attracted to her, could that be said to be immoral? The same might be said for gay men fantasising about men who have no homosexual inclinations whatsoever. Is it wrong for them to imagine a moment of mutual pleasure with someone they find attractive, but who in reality would be at best uncomfortable and at worst disgusted or traumatised if such a moment were to occur?

Hi balustrade, sounds like you are feeling concerned and guilty about thoughts you're having about being turned on my young females.

Researchers are suggesting that about 90% of males can be aroused by images and stories of little girls. So... that makes you normal, not abnormal.

If you live in US or UK or some place like that,the people around you are not being honest publicly about their sexual thoughts and feelings. They condemn publicly what they in fact are doing privately. Maybe you feel abnormal and guilty because you have been mostly exposed to this public front?

There's basically two approaches when someone presents with bad feelings about their pedophilic experiences. 1 The one is reassure them they are normal and give some help with dealing with so-called intrusive thoughts. 2 The other is to help the person create a healthy and positive pedophile identity. Judging from your remarks, you're more of the first type, someone who wants some support with their normal sexual feelings and maybe some tips about how to deal with guilt and over-thinking.

Guilt is a very ancient problem. In Catholic tradition there is confession, in 12 Step Programs we tell at least one other person the exact nature of our wrongs. Either way the commonality is talking about it frankly and getting the subject off our chest.

I notice some splitting of yourself in what you wrote: you disown the sexual thoughts about little girls while identifing with the self who judges those as wrong. In fact there is only one you. The you that had the sexual thoughts is the same you that is then repudiating them. Now that you know it's common and normal to find little girls sexy, you may be able to own, accept, reintegrate, and let that part of yourself be without having to judge and condemn it.

Forgiveness is available at any time that we accept it, guilt is usually coming from some kind of over-thinking. Over-thinking is a very common problem. The usual treatment involves some form of mindfulness or embodiment: that means to get back into the flow of things and into the senses and out of the mind and thought. This is generally done by bring attention to seeing, smelling, touching and actually paying attention to what we are doing, where we are, and who we are with instead of giving all our attention to our thoughts.

rainbowstar wrote:Forgiveness is available at any time that we accept it, guilt is usually coming from some kind of over-thinking. Over-thinking is a very common problem. The usual treatment involves some form of mindfulness or embodiment: that means to get back into the flow of things and into the senses and out of the mind and thought. This is generally done by bring attention to seeing, smelling, touching and actually paying attention to what we are doing, where we are, and who we are with instead of giving all our attention to our thoughts.

Abso-f***ing-lutely. The world would be a better place, a less hysterical place, if we all just chilled the f*** out and focused on the here and now.

ctithe wrote:

balustrade wrote:its hard because yes its fantasy but its associated w/abuse and i dont want to worry about that

I've often heard that being attracted to or fantasising about sexual intimacy with someone under a given age (often either an age of consent or a biological threshold such as menarche) is immoral on the grounds that acting on that attraction/fantasy would constitute abuse. But that argument doesn't hold. Angelina Jolie is so far out of my league that any real-life sexual encounter with her would have to be forced - an immoral act. But if, when masturbating, I fantasise about her enjoying sexual intimacy with me, could that fantasy be said to be immoral? And if I'm attracted to her, could that be said to be immoral? The same might be said for gay men fantasising about men who have no homosexual inclinations whatsoever. Is it wrong for them to imagine a moment of mutual pleasure with someone they find attractive, but who in reality would be at best uncomfortable and at worst disgusted or traumatised if such a moment were to occur?

i think you have a point. but its still hard though because... idk. i just have a lot of weird anxieties around fantasies. even if i'm just fantasising about something that obviously wont happen in reality and dont actually want to happen in reality.