AliceWonders Journal *comments welcome*

AliceWonders Journal.

My 'name' is Alice, and while that's not my real name, it is a name that I use to decribe the inquisitve piece of me that wonders about my mind, my sanity, and my journey through this process of fixing myself; which is something I've been longing for for so very long....

Through my searching, through my purging, through my memories and my emotions, I look to find that thing that relentlessly eluded me for most of my life... HAPPINESS!

How many pieces of me are there? As a Histrionic/Borderline Personality I honestly have no idea how many times I've been torn to shreds as of yet. But that will all be discovered and uncovered through the journey of my mind, the re living of my traumas and the purging of my souls inner most secrets and shames.

If you search through my prior posts on the forum you will see pieces of insanity, lucidity, fragments of myself and random memories strewn across these web pages, and if you check the link here: (link removed by Admin) you will enter into my blog and see a small collection of my pieces, my posts from other venues of the internet all pooled together in one area (still more to come, after 3 years of writting online there is literally HOARDS of information and encounters to transfer there) and you will begin to see and understand my 'split facets of self' and how they effect my life as whole...

I created that area a few months ago with the full intention of using it, but I didn't. I was ashamed to deal with my issues, ashamed of myself and ashamed to admit that I am in fact a split person, a damaged person and greatly 'un normal' to say the least.

The stories are REAL, the pictures of me are REAL and the internal struggle between the many pieces of myself are far to REAL to endure at times, but I am surving my past, surviving my pain, and surviving my self in the battle for my sanity, and essentially for my LIFE!

That blog will be comprised of past posts and experiences that I've already written. To post them here would just polute this area to me as a new starting point, and make it very difficult to post comments, and continue on, because there is so much there- THIS area would be a mess.

I'll be using THIS Journal for my healing. I'll be making diving strides into the depths of my mind, and searching my soul for the 'real me' by purging the personalities that lie within.

THIS IS MY PATH TO SELF DISCOVERY

I will begin this area with the results of my STIPO & from there I will procede through my life, from the very beginning. Things I've never written about, things that have been long forgotten and blocked from the protection of my personalities, and things that are both very REAL and VERY DISTURBING!
This is my Vomit! This is the distorted and sickenning truth of my actions, my reactions and my most protected pieces of the truth. IT WILL OFFEND YOU! But it has to come out if I'm to get well, so be warned I've not opened this without WARNNING YOU DUALLY- YOU WILL NOT LIKE WHAT YOU READ HERE & IT'S YOUR CHOICE TO CONTINUE READING FROM THIS POINT ON!!!!!

Alice searches, Alice examines, Alice observes, Alice rebuilds; but Always~ Alice Wonders...

*SIDE NOTE:
As I am one day looking to make series of books with the many aspects and time framed portioned/personalities of my life, I would apprecite if you did not infringe upon future copyright and use my life and my tails of trauma off of Psychforums.com and it's boards. My first book, which is actually Book 2 of my series, is already in the works; but I am pausing from that to deal with my mental health, and leaving myself ultimately 'literarilly' vulnerable (by this I simply mean the infrigement on my compositions and my life's story as a whole) if anyone wishes to use my story or quote me off PsychForums.com please contact me via PM for permission to do. I'm not unreasonalbe and I have no problem using my life and experiences for the benefit of others- BUT I WILL NOT BE VICTOMISED by plagiarism or theft. If anyone is to benefit from this mess- IT SHOULD BE ME!

OK - WOW you have acurately described the last few relationships I've been in with your nov25th (blog)post. Except that having the heart too makes it soooo much better, and of course soooo much worse. but alas, no more of that for me, I am aspiring to averageness and normality.

i have no idea why it wont let me message u but AliceWonders i really look up to you, we have a lot of similarities and you have alot of knowlege abotu hpd, please post a reply to my topic about my hpd experience because i think u are really helpful