Come Out As Trans + Now I Have PAEDOPHILE & INCEST THOUGHTS

Hey everybody, some of you may have seen my previous posts but I will post a short summary for those who haven't or may have read them a long time ago.

2 years ago I dressed up as a spice girl in my room, this triggered something in my brain and a week later I realised I was a transsexual and it sent me in a downward negative spiral. For a long time I thought it was OCDc and I even got diagnosed with OCD and I had had other minor worries such as being a paedophile, being schizophrenic and some other things. However after waiting 10 months and finally seeing a therapist, she said I wasn't serious enough to treat (the thoughts were completely crippling my life so I dunno how she came to that conclusion) and she hurried me along.

Fast forward to this year and the constant thought of am I trans or not on my brain. Finally I came out as trans and accepted who I am, my family and friends have been supportive.

I have done some things recently, such as shaving body hair and I painted my nails. However after shaving I didn't really feel that much better and doing my nails felt ok at the time (maybe cos it was something I wasn't "meant" to do but now when I look at them I find the glossiness annoying.

Anyway I am waiting for gender therapy on the NHS and I am seeing a gender counsellor in the mean time.

Anyway the last week or so, I have started to have images in my head. For example when I look at my sister, I picture myself fingering her and the thought stays for a long time and causes me anxiety. When I look at children, sometimes I get paedo images and thoughts. I also get the thought "I am a paedophile"

This is very similar to how my trans realisation began as I had the thought "I am a transsexual" "I am a woman" etc

This has made me scared as I can see some parallels between the two themes which is strange as I have accepted being transsexual.

Anyway I just dunno what to do.

I am using OCD advice to deal with these incest and paedophile thoughts but sometimes my brain ruminates automatically. I normally let the thoughts sit there or sometimes I magnify them.

What should I do? Should I tell my Doctor about this? I have moved house so maybe the OCD therapists will be better here or should I wait til I am at the gender clinic because they have psychologists there.

This is hard to deal with

HELP!

Can I ask you a few questions first regarding your TOCD?
>Since you came out, looking back, did you always know you were in denial?
>How long did you start feeling this way? (the dysphoria)
>Did you have mental compulsions to relieve anxiety?
Although I don't doubt you're a transsexual, I want to ask if you have the symptoms of gender dysphoria? Because it seems you posted a lot here about OCD and usually when people accept their fears, they feel better.

Now with the pedophile and sexual thought obsession, you need to find an ERP therapist, or go on google and type in ERP therapy they are step by step guides on how to combat OCD. I believe there is one on this site on page 1 or 2.

RD900 wrote:Can I ask you a few questions first regarding your TOCD?
>Since you came out, looking back, did you always know you were in denial?
>How long did you start feeling this way? (the dysphoria)
>Did you have mental compulsions to relieve anxiety?
Although I don't doubt you're a transsexual, I want to ask if you have the symptoms of gender dysphoria? Because it seems you posted a lot here about OCD and usually when people accept their fears, they feel better.

Now with the pedophile and sexual thought obsession, you need to find an ERP therapist, or go on google and type in ERP therapy they are step by step guides on how to combat OCD. I believe there is one on this site on page 1 or 2.

Hey,

I felt better once I accepted being trans. My head is a little bit all over the place at the moment though. I amstill not entirely sure if I am going to transition and the operation freaksme out but I know that not all transgender people have the operation. There are also a wide range of non-binary identities and people all over the matrix of gender. People say it is a spectrum but I think a matrix is more apt.

I am gonna go to my gender clinic and I am currently seeing a gender counsellor.

I just wanna be happy.

I don't follow the "typical trans narrative" but some people realise as adults.

I feel better using female shower gel and I have started playing as female characters on video games.

I painted my nails but I wasn't overkeen and I ended up dysphoric about having it on :L

To be honest I do feel a lot of confusion.

FreshGuy wrote:

RD900 wrote:Can I ask you a few questions first regarding your TOCD?
>Since you came out, looking back, did you always know you were in denial?
>How long did you start feeling this way? (the dysphoria)
>Did you have mental compulsions to relieve anxiety?
Although I don't doubt you're a transsexual, I want to ask if you have the symptoms of gender dysphoria? Because it seems you posted a lot here about OCD and usually when people accept their fears, they feel better.

Now with the pedophile and sexual thought obsession, you need to find an ERP therapist, or go on google and type in ERP therapy they are step by step guides on how to combat OCD. I believe there is one on this site on page 1 or 2.

Hey,

I felt better once I accepted being trans. My head is a little bit all over the place at the moment though. I amstill not entirely sure if I am going to transition and the operation freaksme out but I know that not all transgender people have the operation. There are also a wide range of non-binary identities and people all over the matrix of gender. People say it is a spectrum but I think a matrix is more apt.

I am gonna go to my gender clinic and I am currently seeing a gender counsellor.

I just wanna be happy.

I don't follow the "typical trans narrative" but some people realise as adults.

I feel better using female shower gel and I have started playing as female characters on video games.

I painted my nails but I wasn't overkeen and I ended up dysphoric about having it on :L

To be honest I do feel a lot of confusion.

Do you hate your male parts? Anyway I went through TOCD myself and finally got cured a few weeks ago with ERP therapy. I went to a gender clinic and they told me I had no gender dysphoria. This relieved anxiety for about 3 days then went back to obsessing. I'm not saying you're not trans but remember how OCD can mess with your mind. Good luck in whatever decision you make!

RD900 wrote:

FreshGuy wrote:

RD900 wrote:Can I ask you a few questions first regarding your TOCD?
>Since you came out, looking back, did you always know you were in denial?
>How long did you start feeling this way? (the dysphoria)
>Did you have mental compulsions to relieve anxiety?
Although I don't doubt you're a transsexual, I want to ask if you have the symptoms of gender dysphoria? Because it seems you posted a lot here about OCD and usually when people accept their fears, they feel better.

Now with the pedophile and sexual thought obsession, you need to find an ERP therapist, or go on google and type in ERP therapy they are step by step guides on how to combat OCD. I believe there is one on this site on page 1 or 2.

Hey,

I felt better once I accepted being trans. My head is a little bit all over the place at the moment though. I amstill not entirely sure if I am going to transition and the operation freaksme out but I know that not all transgender people have the operation. There are also a wide range of non-binary identities and people all over the matrix of gender. People say it is a spectrum but I think a matrix is more apt.

I am gonna go to my gender clinic and I am currently seeing a gender counsellor.

I just wanna be happy.

I don't follow the "typical trans narrative" but some people realise as adults.

I feel better using female shower gel and I have started playing as female characters on video games.

I painted my nails but I wasn't overkeen and I ended up dysphoric about having it on :L

To be honest I do feel a lot of confusion.

Do you hate your male parts? Anyway I went through TOCD myself and finally got cured a few weeks ago with ERP therapy. I went to a gender clinic and they told me I had no gender dysphoria. This relieved anxiety for about 3 days then went back to obsessing. I'm not saying you're not trans but remember how OCD can mess with your mind. Good luck in whatever decision you make!

My "TOCD" began after I dressed up as a woman.

I know OCD can effect the way people think so I am going into this with an open mind.

I don't hate my male parts but there is a vain on it that annoys me sometimes though. Also before I started to think I was trans I took pride in my male parts. Sometimes I get images in my head of my penis being bitten off by a dog or bleeding and stuff. They can be distressing but I let them sit there.

Also sometimes I feel like a sensation down there, well it isn't a sensation just a weird feeling, like it isn't there.

[*]I CANT HANDLE BEING A TRANSSEXUAL I JUST WANNA BE NORMAL I NEED HELP

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just need to face the fact that I am a paedophile or at least have paedophilic tendencies, this is similar to how my transsexuality began

I just read a POCD thread and I spiked so bad, some of the things that were written are gross, are these people not just paedos?

You accepted the fact that you were a transsexual already what are you complaining now for? There are two factors in gender dysphoria.
1. Body Dysphoria
-This is where you hate your male characteristics, like your genitals, muscles, or whatever. AND you want the other sexes characteristics, (breasts, vagina, soft skin). Dressing up as a spice girl does not make you a transsexual. You could just be a cross dresser or a drag queen. Drag queens dress up as women all the time and they aren't transsexual.

2. Social Dysphoria
-This is where you get depression or anxiety when you present as your assigned sex. When people see you as male but you don't feel male. Liking female body wash does not make you a transsexual.

RD900 wrote:You accepted the fact that you were a transsexual already what are you complaining now for? There are two factors in gender dysphoria.
1. Body Dysphoria
-This is where you hate your male characteristics, like your genitals, muscles, or whatever. AND you want the other sexes characteristics, (breasts, vagina, soft skin). Dressing up as a spice girl does not make you a transsexual. You could just be a cross dresser or a drag queen. Drag queens dress up as women all the time and they aren't transsexual.

2. Social Dysphoria
-This is where you get depression or anxiety when you present as your assigned sex. When people see you as male but you don't feel male. Liking female body wash does not make you a transsexual.

Ok I just don't know what to do. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

I want to try yellow nail varnish.

I am very confused but I think I am a transsexual, or at least transgender, maybe I could be a drag queen or crossdresser but even then it doesn't explain my sudden paedophile thoughts.

I just dunno what to do.

I have already seen my doctor about being transgender and I told him I was feeling quite stressed and he said that at the gender clinic they have a psychologist who will help with that so maybe they will know about OCD also.

~I just don't know anymore. I don't know.

I don't know what I am complaining for, maybe I have got panic disorder and just feel in a state of anxiety.

-- Mon Dec 15, 2014 5:15 pm --

I'm starting to play as female characters on video games and see myself in a female way.

Also it might be fun to have breasts.

The sex change operation freaks the hec out of me and I feel gross when people talk about it