Definition of:Compulsive Lying

[MSBLUE]

Compulsive Lying.


This person, not unlike the gambler, or the alcoholic, has little or no control over the lies he or she tells. To the compulsive liar, lies come out of the mouth as easily as truths, usually with little or no forethought to why or what the consequences will be..

Resouce: http://topten.org/public/BA/BA3.html

[tcole56]

I have been married just short of a year. Just after we married, I found out that my husband has lied about damn near everything!!
He told me he was in the Navy.....he told me he had several inherited financial accounts, etc...etc....
I have read many posting regarding how these "pathalogical liars" lie so much, they don't even know that they do it. They tend to believe themselves, to the point where my husband has even admited that he could pass a polygraph test. My husband lies about things that have no purpose. He lies about what time he gets up in the morning, about what he does during the day,,,it just goes on and on...The only time that he admits that he lies is when I have the "proof" that he lied. He always wants me to show him the proof that he lied, otherwise, he will swear on his dead fathers grave that it is true.
I have talked with his sister about this problem and her husband has mentioned to me that he has been lying like this since he has been in high school, he is 48 years old now.

I want to know from anyone if there is any hope for re habilitating someone like this that has been doing it for so long.
I love him very much, believe it or not. Inside, he is a very loving great person that would do anything in the world for me. He loves me very much and is just about losing it because I have left him and am staying at my moms until I can figure things out. All of my friends that know him, has seen and heard his lies said that there is no hope. I pray that there is hope but how do I go back and believe him, even after he gets therapy.

[vickie.a@ntlworld.com]

i know how you feel i have been with my partner for 16months now he is 46years old and he has lied about most things the same as your husband.at the moment we are waiting to seek advice through the doctor.i am at my wits end but we are still together at the moment he has said he will get help thats one thing i suppose but will it work?what are you doing abiut it?

[Andrea]

I know how you feel. I am now seperated from my husband for the second time. We started dating in highschool and the lies started. They have ranged from little ones,such as if he ate dinner to huge lies such as him dyning he has cheating on me 4 times. He has now been caught lying about going out and drinking and then taking a woman home from the bar,telling her that he is seperated and getting her number. ( he also has recently told me he thinks he has a drinking problem)We have been through a year of marriage consuling and now that i think about it i have never really brought up the fact that i thought he has a lying problem. My concern now is that out oldest daughter who is 5 is now lying in school. She has told her class that her sister and her grandmother is dead and that i am blind. I am not sure of what to think about this. Is she lying because if the stress if her father or is compulsive lying heratitary?

[sue]

May I join you for a while?
I am starting to come to terms with the discovery that it is likely I have been having a three and a half year relationship with a compulsive liar.
I have been to hell and back for and with him. I believed all the bad, horrific things he said had happened to him, and all his past, at least what he leaked out.
Now it seems that very much of what I "know" about him is lies.
I am going through everything in my mind, and can no longer believe one single thing.
I can still say I love him, but who do I love? I do not know who he is?
Where do I go from here?
At least we are not married - nearly happened last year.
Why do they do it?

[sweetngentle]

Sue,

Of course you are welcome to join in! The following link has an over-view of the compulsive liar as well as some posts where people are eother working with themselves or a loved one who is a compulsive liar. It's an illness....not something the person usually wants to do. My older brother has been a compulsive liar most of his life. He's a great guy, but this feature of his personality has taken it's toll and impacted his life quite negatively. It's something he has never been open to and he would deny in a heartbeat that he was a person with compulsive lying traits.

Please feel free to post any time.

http://www.psychforums.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=570

Sweetngentle

[LOUIS]

I'm reading this board for the first time, I'm looking for help for my 18 year old son, he has the same problem as his mom, my ex, he tells me he wants to change, but he has no confidence in his ability to stop lying, first is compulsive lying heriditary? & is there a cure?
thanks

[sweetngentle]

Louis,

As far as I know there is no cure for compulsive lying, but therapy and an attitude to change are what it takes to stop this behavior from cycling over and over. Either seeing a therapist of being in a support group would be the most likely thing to help someone with this disorder. Also, the person has to not be in denial. Admitting and accepting are key players in this battle.

Sweetngentle

[lm3504]

hi, this is my first time to this board, and i just need some advice. i am a compulsive liar. i dont know why i do it, because i get nothing in return. its so bad sometimes it gets to a point where i convince myself what im saying is real. im getting married in a month, and i have never lied to my fiancee, but i dont know if i should tell him or not, because im afraid he wont believe me. should i tell him?
leigh

[MSBLUE]

If you've never lied to your fiance', then you know already the good affects of honesty. Be sure to make a vow to yourself never to lie to him.

If you decide to open up about your past behavior that is one thing, but to open a can of worms, that can be avoided is another.

Once you tell him this, you could be setting yourself up....even if you say, "I never want to lie to you", that might work , and it might not.

Just don't lie to him. Ever! But telling him things that don't have to be told is one thing. It is a loophole , that is true, but if you think you can control yourself with him, try doing it with others, and then eventually stop the cycle. Or take a chance and hope he understands and believes you in the future. It's really your call.