glad to have my alters!

This may seem weird to some But this past week I am so Glad I have alters. well maybe I should start at the beginning on Tuesday night my SOs grandfather passed away and we all where very close to him. so while i was inside crying my heart out Rosie was sitting with him and his mom while they waited for the Paramedic's, and all the other people who have to come when someone passes at home, to leave. Rosie was strong and sportive for them. I don't think I could have handled it as well as she did. I give her all the credit for this one.
the more I learn about my alters both the good and the bad the more it seams like they are not just apart of me but almost like a small community. as a group I am finding it easier to raise my two children (who are a handful at the best of times) and deal with everything life has to offer.
I know there are more still who have yet to come out but the group here now work well together and make new alters feel safe and welcome.

I do have one slightly odd question though and I understand that everyone is defferent but in your systems where do your alters stay? for me its like a big old castle with lots of floors and lots of rooms. each of my systems has there own floor and each alter has there own room to decorate as they like and for my little's there is a "play" room. there is a garden and a kitchen and a Art and craft room. there is so much detail that some times I question my sanity.

Jen

Despite the current denial she's fighting, Cassandra is often happy to have us as well. I know Cassie (the original core), is definitely happy to have us. As she puts it, "we're a family of one".

Certainly, everyone's "inner world" is going to be different, but it is always nice to read about how others' "inner worlds" are set up. Subjects such as these are often interesting, enjoyable reading material.

For our system, we basically have a f*#king library-labyrinth type thing. Kat, if you would like to respond to this topic, simply let me know and I'll step back. However, she is correct, but I will try to explain it the best I am able to.

The very "front" of the mind is the "control room". This is where I am currently. Whoever is in the "control room" is out in control. It is a large room, but just like a car, there is only one "driver's seat", so depending on how many alters we have co-hosting/co-consciously "out", it can get slightly crowded. Whoever is in the control room has the ability to "shut out" other alters from entering the control room (though this does not always happen intentionally).

Outside of the control room is the "Main Group's" "living room". It is exactly like any real living room; it is a large, common space that can be shared by alters and is a place where they can socialize, spend time, etc. We have furniture such as couches and chairs, a coffee table and a couple side-tables, a few bookshelves, and Kat keeps plenty of breakable things that she can break when she's angry. We can make anything that we want "appear", but it takes some time and effort to make something "permanent" (as in, it is there in our "inner world" everyday without re-imagining/re-creating it).

Beyond the main living room are the Main Group's bedrooms (I am an alter of the "Main Group"). We all have our own bedrooms/rooms, all filled with our own possessions and what we like/want. Our rooms are where we can get privacy (we can make our rooms sound-proof, though sometimes if Cassandra is really trying to hear us she still can), they're where we sleep, and they're where we can spend time to ourselves. They're also where we can speak among each other privately, such as if I wish to speak to Kat but do not wish to announce everything to everyone in the living room.

After the bedrooms are many long hallways covered in rooms/doorways. Most rooms seems to be empty while others hold books/bookshelves, usually of memories.

At some point far down the hallways, you'll come across the Secondary Group's living room. This is where the Secondary Group spends their time and socializes with each other. (The "Secondary Group" is made up of alters who are either not well-known about, are not "out" a lot, or who simply feel as though they belong here). It is extremely similar to the Main Group's living room. I think the only real difference between the two living rooms are the colors of objects such as the couch.

Past the Secondary Group's living room are the Secondary Group's bedrooms/rooms.

After their bedrooms, more hallways with rooms/doorways stretch out until they're eventually shrouded in darkness. You cannot see the end of these hallways. What they go into is an area we call "The Darkness". It is a place much like a pitch-black maze that we sometimes experience when a trigger causes extreme stress, or something similar happens. While in The Darkness, you cannot hear, see, smell, or taste anything. All you can do is "feel" the walls of the maze, sometimes coming across doors, having no idea of where they're leading, and having no idea of which way you're supposed to go to get "out" of that black maze. Sometimes, if you're close to the entrance/exit of it, you will be able to faintly hear something, such as music or a voice from the "outside", and it will help you to escape The Darkness by following the faint sounds, causing them to grow louder until you find their cause (meaning you're no longer in The Darkness). It is suspected that alters such as "Hannibal", and the disconnected-from-reality Kyra, may live either in The Darkness or beyond it (if there is anything beyond The Darkness. Considering it is basically the subconscious, that is highly doubtful).

Overall, our inner world is most like an everyday house. Hallways, bedrooms, living rooms, and other rooms.

~Rain

I think this makes good sense. Nin is usually glad to have us too. She knows we've helped her through everything and will continue to do so 'till the end. It's great that you're able to feel that towards your alters - it took a while for Nin to get beyond the and and of it all. Now she for the most part feels good about having us around

there is so much detail that some times I question my sanity.

Haha, don't! We've got lots of details too. Though very little furniture for some reason Anyways.. It's different for everyone but ours is kinda like this:
The baby (or babies? I have no idea), Lin & Anastasia live together in two rooms with an open doorway thing between (it doesn't close or have a door, it's just an opening). Or they used to (you can read more about that, should you wish here: dissociative-identity/topic97730.html). They have their things in there and the baby's room has a ceiling with a real sky (as in nightsky with stars and everything, there are clouds there etc. It doesn't match the outside but it does have the proper 24h cycle and it's never really the same - different clouds and everything like a real sky).

I don't know about the other kids except a few.
When I split I made a house. That house has loads of details etc and it's far from everyone else. You can't see the top of it. You can see 3 stories and then it's a fog that covers the top so I've no idea how many floors it really has. It has like a walkway of tiles going from the house and 3 or so steps. There is no ground there. It's like a cloud sort of, just white nothingness really. Inside though, I don't know how it is, except I know Elisa lives on the ground floor and is in charge of the basement where we store our memories. On the 1st floor the 13(?) y/o lives. On the 2nd floor I live. It seems my split (the female mentioned between Leo and the 13(?) y/o in our signature) also lives by us but I've no idea where. Never found her.

Jacob and Cassie live together but I've no idea where. None of us, probably with the exception of Leo knows where they live.

Leo has a "space". It's a "room" sort of with openings on all "walls" (it's like a room but without the definite lines of walls and such.. it's just "there"). Hard to explain. Anyway, it's the same type of open doorway thingys that Lin and the other's room has. In there it's a garden. She has a tree with three branches and there's light everywhere. It's way beautiful.

The others I dunno where reside at this point.
So yeah, you're not alone in having an elaborate inner world. And ours isn't that elaborate at all in comparison to some others on here!

My name is Sophie and I am 8 and if I had a room the walls would be very very light yellow and my bed would have quilts and stuffed bunnies on it
Sarah and Claire started working on a quilt for me last night and they have never done it before so the pieces aren't cut out strait but it's okay because it's their first time

Hi Sophie, and welcome. That sounds really nice I'm sure it'll be pretty when it's done no matter if the pieces are straight cut or not!

Yes! The fabrics they are using is so pretty, and Sarah wants to start over maybe because she didn't sew it right, but she was looking for a stuffed bunny for me today and they didn't have any so instead she got a tiger

Stuffed animals are great Do you name yours? Anastasia names almost all of ours. We have a polar bear that's named after Nin's girlfriend, a huge white bear (as in the animal) that's named after our T, a baby polar bear that I'm not sure what name has yet, a little white bear (again, as in the animal) that's named after our best friend (a DID system as well - so it has a few names) and our baby named our stuffed bunny "grandma". It's nice to have them around Have fun with the tiger and I'm sure it'll be pretty no matter what!

Sophie hasn't named him yet, she only came out a little bit yesterday But I think she'll want to come out later. I know she wants a pet hamster to name him Bacon, though.

Oh that is so cute She sounds darling.
Haha that's just awesome

lifelongthing wrote:Oh that is so cute She sounds darling.
Haha that's just awesome

She says thank you very much!!
And she's been pretty fun even though I haven't known her long. Tomorrow is first day ever going to school with me (that she can really come out) So she's excited to see all my friends and go to my classes, etc.