Helping an alter inside?

Can someone help me get Lin back home inside? She's been gone a long time now. I can only hear her when one of us two is out and I can't find her and she can't find her way either. We've worked on it together and tried to draw out our room and stuff like that. We even gave her a few animals to lead the way.

Yeah.. Some years ago, after a traumatic event, I "lost" my place inside. When I went back inside it was all black and there was no up or down, it's just a black nothing/everything-ness. I didn't know the way out of it. I got it back after a long, long time and after that started being more with Anastasia. I used to have my room and Anastasia had her's. In the last two years we've mostly shared her room because, well, I love her and I take care of the kids inside and she's needed a lot of support and needs to know that I'm always there for her. Which of course I am. Anyway, we've mostly just been in her room or I've been out in the inside world doing other things or meeting the other kids etc. But after a traumatic event a couple of months ago, the same thing happened again. It's all black and I can't seem to find my way back. I don't care about "my room" but I really want to get back to Anastasia's. We've decided we'll try to merge our two rooms (or at least share her's). But how do I get there? How do I find the way? Our psychologist tried to get us to visualize it but it didn't work. It made Anastasia's room into what we wanted it to be - but it didn't bring me there. I also got 6 (the current number of parts in our system at the time that the host knew of) fireflies to help light the way. It helped a bit, but again, didn't get me home.

Anyone have any other ideas? Our T is at a loss and we're her first DID patient so she wasn't so familiar with it. But it's kinda very important since us kids don't do too well all alone all the time

We welcome any suggestions!

I don't want to nag but maybe someone has a suggestion, even if they don't think it's a great one? We're willing to try a lot of different things at this point, really

I have no idea of the correct methods (if there are any), but since R used to be lost for longer than twenty years on the first time, during which I was only partly aware of having lost a part and even unable to realize he was lost inside, not outside, I can perhaps understand a little of what you're going through.

Since there was something traumatic that caused it on both occasions and on the first time it took a long time for Lin to find her place again, maybe that's what is to be expected this time also? If visualization and the fireflies and other helpful stuff to lead Lin back don't seem to work at the moment, is it possible for you and your T to focus even more on helping the parts who were the ones who were affected by the event to process the trauma? Of course you can also continue visualization and other positive stuff that is characteristic to your inner world.
Perhaps you can also remember what helped on the first time this happened to Lin and what didn't, and use that knowledge.
I did some googling and found this article, maybe it contains some useful ideas: http://drkathleenyoung.wordpress.com/20 ... a-therapy/

Good thing you're taking care of each other. Lin, I hope you find your way back .

Since there was something traumatic that caused it on both occasions and on the first time it took a long time for Lin to find her place again, maybe that's what is to be expected this time also?

Yeah we're expecting it to take time
Just not too much time
It's been months already.. And I really hope to get back faster than last time, since it took give or take 1-2 years

If visualization and the fireflies and other helpful stuff to lead Lin back don't seem to work at the moment, is it possible for you and your T to focus even more on helping the parts who were the ones who were affected by the event to process the trauma?

Me and Nin were the ones who dealt with the trauma. Me the most. I am dealing with it but it's holding me back a lot to not have my home cause I've nowhere safe to go when I'm not out and dealing, know what I mean? Another problem is that after the trauma a new one happened not long after and a 3rd one not long after that again - after a period of no trauma - and a new split. But as far as I know, I don't think she holds anything from the 1st trauma.

Perhaps you can also remember what helped on the first time this happened to Lin and what didn't, and use that knowledge.

I didn't really do anything that special, I think. Problem is, I don't know how I did it. I just started getting closer, and seeing more glimpses, or hearing the kids more etc in the darkness and at one point I was in my room again sometimes and sometimes not and then after that at one point I was back again like normal. I'm not sure what I did. I've been the host before, so I have no idea what, of all the things I did over those years, it was that helped

I did some googling and found this article

Thank you. That was a nice read

Lin, I hope you find your way back .

Thank you very much. I really hope so too.

The visualization thing might take a bit to work. Try it consistently for like a couple days. And make time for it, like an hour or so. Might help to do some meditation stuff before trying to visualize stuff too. You know, the whole "clearing your mind" thing so that you can focus on what you want better.

Might also have to try like "calling" stuff while visualizing. Saying her name over and over again while you visualize; and you could also try visualizing her before visualizing your home and stuff. Maybe even visualizing one of you finding her and leading her home. Gotta try a mixture of stuff sometimes. While visualizing or meditating, play like her favorite music or song or have a movie she likes on in the background. Wear clothes she likes. Try anything to help, uh, "escort" her back home.

I don't know how your, uh, "mind world" works, but has anyone tried building a fire or flying a flag or something to help her see where you're at? (Right now I'm just babbling like an idiot, saying any idea that I got). Maybe she could do something similar to help you guys find her?

Whenever Rebel got "lost", Dal and I had to search for her till we found her. Or until she came back on her own. It sucks, but sometimes you just gotta keep trying and waiting.

You guys could try building her a room of her own, see if that works somehow. Kinda like a "you have a place so you'll now magically appear here" type of far-fetched idea. (I know, I'm crazy, but you never know what could work). And if it don't work, then she's got a room to come home to when she is found.

-Damone

Try it consistently for like a couple days. And make time for it, like an hour or so. Might help to do some meditation stuff before trying to visualize stuff too. You know, the whole "clearing your mind" thing so that you can focus on what you want better.

We've been trying for a few months now, but we're going to keep trying. I'll definitely try the whole clearning my mind thing. Thank you

Might also have to try like "calling" stuff while visualizing. Saying her name over and over again while you visualize; and you could also try visualizing her before visualizing your home and stuff. Maybe even visualizing one of you finding her and leading her home. Gotta try a mixture of stuff sometimes. While visualizing or meditating, play like her favorite music or song or have a movie she likes on in the background. Wear clothes she likes. Try anything to help, uh, "escort" her back home.

Just to make sure I understand, do you mean Ana should be calling for me, or I should be calling for Ana or that we should both try? Those are some good tips, we'll definitely try!

I don't know how your, uh, "mind world" works, but has anyone tried building a fire or flying a flag or something to help her see where you're at? (Right now I'm just babbling like an idiot, saying any idea that I got). Maybe she could do something similar to help you guys find her?

You guys could try building her a room of her own, see if that works somehow. Kinda like a "you have a place so you'll now magically appear here" type of far-fetched idea. (I know, I'm crazy, but you never know what could work). And if it don't work, then she's got a room to come home to when she is found.

Not an idiot at all! We really really appreciate everything you have to say! Thing is, we're not able to make something different/build on the inside almost ever. The room me and Ana are going to share seems to be done (I have no idea what that worked while usually nothing seems to work, Leo won't tell me and she's the one in charge of the inner world) but my own room, as far as I can tell, isn't being built/re-built at all even though I'm trying. I guess I just need to find the way home.. We can put in animals, but not items/furniture etc.. I just need to figure out an animal that might help maybe?

Whenever Rebel got "lost", Dal and I had to search for her till we found her. Or until she came back on her own. It sucks, but sometimes you just gotta keep trying and waiting.

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of... Hopefully we figure something out!

Thank you so much for all of this, it really is so appreciated!

lifelongthing wrote:Just to make sure I understand, do you mean Ana should be calling for me, or I should be calling for Ana or that we should both try? Those are some good tips, we'll definitely try!

When you're doing your meditation and visualization stuff, you want all focus to be on you (Lin). So, if possible, everyone should be calling for you. It might be better if others did the mediation thing and Lin was just waiting calmly to see if she could hear anything or something. Worth a shot, seeing if focus can increase if it's only going one way.

lifelongthing wrote:Not an idiot at all! We really really appreciate everything you have to say! Thing is, we're not able to make something different/build on the inside almost ever. The room me and Ana are going to share seems to be done (I have no idea what that worked while usually nothing seems to work, Leo won't tell me and she's the one in charge of the inner world) but my own room, as far as I can tell, isn't being built/re-built at all even though I'm trying. I guess I just need to find the way home.. We can put in animals, but not items/furniture etc.. I just need to figure out an animal that might help maybe?

Ah, k. Hmm. Maybe later you guys can work on using meditation or something to help building stuff be easier.
A bloodhound. Get 'em something of Lin's, get 'em her scent, and hopefully they'll track her down in no time and bring her back. Or something similar, a hound dog, beagle, wolf (tame of course). Something that could track her down and remember the way back to the house.
Lin could send animals like birds (like trained hawks) that can fly to see big areas. Maybe one can fly while she follows and they can find home together or somethin'.
Heck, Lin could even get a giraffe maybe to see over everything and hopefully see the house.
Or a dragon to fly up, find the way home, then burn a pathway or somethin'.
Now I'm just gettin' stupid.

Anyway, hope something works for you.

-Damone

When you're doing your meditation and visualization stuff, you want all focus to be on you (Lin). So, if possible, everyone should be calling for you. It might be better if others did the mediation thing and Lin was just waiting calmly to see if she could hear anything or something. Worth a shot, seeing if focus can increase if it's only going one way.

Thank you. We'll try this!

Ah, k. Hmm. Maybe later you guys can work on using meditation or something to help building stuff be easier.
A bloodhound. Get 'em something of Lin's, get 'em her scent, and hopefully they'll track her down in no time and bring her back. Or something similar, a hound dog, beagle, wolf (tame of course). Something that could track her down and remember the way back to the house.
Lin could send animals like birds (like trained hawks) that can fly to see big areas. Maybe one can fly while she follows and they can find home together or somethin'.
Heck, Lin could even get a giraffe maybe to see over everything and hopefully see the house.
Or a dragon to fly up, find the way home, then burn a pathway or somethin'.
Now I'm just gettin' stupid.

This is great advice, not stupid at all! We are definitely trying this! I have a good feeling about this. I'll be trying tonight. If you want to I'll update with if/if not it worked. Thank you so much!!

It's cool being helpful instead of being the help-needed person. Not used to that.

Yeah, it'd be nice to know how everything worked out. Otherwise that's like reading a book then stopping before you get to the end.

Hope it goes well.

-Damone

IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED IT WORKED

Indeed. I have you thank you so very much Damone. You were a great help to us and it worked. I am home with my little loves This honestly means the world to me, you have no idea. Thank you so very much.

Do you wanna know how we did it too?
It was a bit of a process but we'd love to share it should you be interested

-- Wed Sep 26, 2012 1:47 pm --

Oh yes and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU