System Mapping and Teams

Do you find that some parts have teams that work with them?
I'm having an issue with a part who LOVES to abuse substances of any kind - to dangerous levels.
However, as everyone has been blaming her, I'm recognizing that some people are helping to procure the goods for her . . . does she have helpers?
This part in particular carries a lot of pain, most of it I think. How can she get so much help?
I am really new to DID and this substance abuse thing has become a huge issue and trying to get a handle on it has been really hard as I've learned that others help.

What are the possible explanation for this in the world of DID? I'll take guesses or theories or personal experiences. I know every system is different, but please please please help. I've got to get this under control before my and my 20+ parts end up in rehab pointing fingers at each other.

**trigger warning for self-injury etc**

I dunno if I'll be of much help but we have someone (well, multiple but for this point I'll just refer to one) in our system who carries the worst of the worst. And she wants to hurt herself (and I don't mean small stuff) and yeah, I help her. I help her and then I or someone else switch back in if it goes too far, or at least hopefully. I help her because she's too scared to make a sound so she can't get the stuff she needs herself... I don't really know why i do it. I guess because she is in such tremendous pain every single day, i feel like while I don't personally self-harm like that, I get why she'd want to. It's all she knows, she's not been out outside of the worst experiences until about a month ago, and I guess I try to protect her by giving her something anyway. But I dunno. It seems like a bad idea but I dunno how else to help her yet so.. So this is our personal experience with "teams" helping do "bad things"... Might not be the most helpful but I tried!

- Fighter

**trigger warning** self-harm stuff

I don't know if I can be any help or not, but I can share a much smaller level of that kind of thing. When parts of me feel numbed out or switchy I will take a really hot bath. But like really hot-scalding. I tell myself not to that it's not ok as I get really dizzy, sick, burned, etc but then I find myself helping her out- like shutting off the cold water or boiling water on the stove. It's like a complete argument going on in my head. Lately, I've been trying to communicate more and compromise. NO boiling water allowed. Someone on the forum suggested board meetings with your system and that helps a lot. Call a board meeting and say what is allowed and what is not. Write it down, sign it and keep it out to see. All parts of the system are responsible- no loopholes. It really does help, but I know what you are saying about helping out parts that can be destructive or self-harming.

Fracturedself wrote:This part in particular carries a lot of pain, most of it I think. How can she get so much help?

Maybe because it's clear she needs an escape from her pain and substance abuse, however dangerous, can bring that temporarily.

I am really new to DID and this substance abuse thing has become a huge issue and trying to get a handle on it has been really hard as I've learned that others help.

Perhaps you can figure out a way for you to provide the greatest and most consistent supoort. Then she wouldn't have to turn elsewhere.

You have strong motivation to try to address her pain by offering to share it. Speak or write to her or try to contact her in any way and do everything you can to help. Do you have communication with her?

Johnny-Jack wrote: You have strong motivation to try to address her pain by offering to share it. Speak or write to her or try to contact her in any way and do everything you can to help. Do you have communication with her?

I do now. Previously we locked in up in the cellar. Not the nicest thing to do. We discovered what her role is last week - to keep all the screams. That's quite the job. Our T helped her by moving her up to a safe room on the main floor and we gave her an apothcary cabinent to store all the screams in- so she can release them one by one as we can handle it. Quite the job Mary Jane has.
Here's the problem, I think she was wrongly imprisioned. I think we have one or 2 alters hiding out. I am so addicted to narcotics right now and cannot seem to stop myself at all. I know that is typical of addiction, but it's the same as before - procurring it for someone else, but it's not for Mary Jane . . . but I don't know who it's for. . . I don't need it or want it.
I'm so frustrated! We are looking at rehab, but I'd like to think I need to know what parts are responsible or I am afraid rehab won't be much of a success. I need to seek out some hiding alters. How do you do THAT?

*May Trigger*

Firstly, I'm so sorry you're going through all this. -safe hugs if wanted- And I certainly hope things get better for you soon.

I can somewhat relate to this. One of my alters, LC, OD'ed on allergy meds to get high because we had no pot or alcohol for her to use instead. We ended up going to the hospital to be on the safe side and had a bad experience- needless to say, she learned her lesson. But another alter of mine, Rebel, also enjoys doing drugs. She's bought unknown pills before that I thankfully found before she took them (though that was a waste of my $20), and she's very impulsive, so she has a habit of mixing drugs and not watching how much of what she's mixing. She doesn't come out much, but if she did I bet I'd be finding a lot more of my money missing and I'd have more drugs than just my usual pot and alcohol.

I'm glad that you have found Mary Jane and that you've been able to begin to help her. LC and Damone were made to hold all the pain in my system, so they can certainly relate, and I know it's not an easy job at all. Hopefully you can find the others that you suspect are hiding soon as well. But also remember, they'll come out when they feel ready enough and safe enough. So perhaps try making yourself feel as safe and calm and relaxed as possible before trying to contact or search for anyone. Surround yourself with things that make you feel safe; eat some comfort food; put on some calming music; etc. Then perhaps try some self-talk, like asking if anyone's there or telling yourself that everything is safe, that you are safe, and that if anyone wants to come forward they can. You can also try writing. I've had writing help me with contact between alters before. You can either try writing to yourself, or you can try simply writing out thoughts and answering them yourself, waiting to see if someone "gives" you the answers. For example, I was writing all that I knew about an alter of mine, "Hannibal". I was writing stuff like, "Who is "Hannibal", "What is his purpose", and then I was answering them to the best of my knowledge. In the middle of me doing that, "Hannibal" himself came out and began writing about things that he did and why he did them. Perhaps someone will come out to answer your questions. If you have contact with other alters, you can also try searching for hiding alters or contacting them through ones you do have contact with. Maybe someone knows something or has seen someone you haven't. You can try self-talk in the sense of calling the hiding alters "out". Try telling them that you know they're there; you think that Mary Jane was wrongfully imprisoned; let them know that you believe they're there and are searching for them, and would appreciate it if they came forward. Tell them that they're safe to do so, and that it's ok. Don't seem mad or anything to possibly scare them. Let them know that you're not mad about the drugs, you only want to know for sure what's going on and who's using them so that you're not so confused. They could be thinking that you'll be mad at them for their usage, and so they could be having others get it for them to help them stay hidden and away from any possible anger.

I wish you the best of luck with this, and hope you feel better soon!