Dumb question maybe but....am I at risk?

This is a theoretical question because my good friend with DID is living overseas at the moment. But this is the question I wanted to ask, but always felt I couldn't. Can a friend be at risk from an alter? I have only got to know the nice protector types...but I know there are darker alters. Another mutual friend would get involved and actually tussle with them (particularly if they were hurting the body). That is not my style...but if we were in the same geographic place, and if I upset one - could I get injured? I feel really weird asking the question because I trust my friend - and it seems disloyal to even ask the question.

An alter is the same as any other person. If this person would normally be someone you would fear then yes. If you only fear them because of their status as an alter then no. It is likely that the person you usually deal with is an alter. It is no different than having two seperate bodies in front of you. Would you naturally fear either?

Hope that makes sense!

Snuffthroostr gave a terrific, succinct answer. From everything I've read, most people with DID don't hurt others physically. Virtually every person on the planet will hurt someone else emotionally.

A protector is generally a type of alter who arose in response to a threat to the person but it's really just a shorthand term, not a definition. A protector might react by pulling the person away from others, by being stronger than the host in certain situations, by pushing outside persons away, by shielding the person from strong emotions, by being aggressive to outside persons or to a specific behavior in outside people, by being aggressive to the host or the alters or the body, or by any combination of those or other reactions.

My mother had DID and she did hurt others physically, particularly me when I was not big or old enough to fight back effectively. Except for a couple incidents around age nine, specifically one where one of my alters tried to warn another of the danger looming from my father in a way that was scary, none of us have deliberately or accidentally hurt anyone to my knowledge.

If you want to continue a friendship with this person, and there seems no reason not to, asking the question directly is fair, though it's no guarantee you'll get a full answer right away. You have a right to feel comfortable and safe in any relationship. Starting the conversation can prevent making decisions with not enough info.

Thanks for those replies. I am not scared of the ones I know, but I am wary of those I don't - stranger danger and all that. I guess the other thing is with two people standing in front of you can see the difference. I initially found it quite hard to say to my friend "who am I talking to?' when I thought her behaviour changed...fortunately she/they never seemed too put out. But i know with my other friend they would sometimes play games and pretend to be one or the other.

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I, myself, am an alter, and have been the host/main one out for around 10-11 years. Most of the people who know me in real life don't realize that, so I sometimes find it kinda funny when knowing that I have alters makes people nervous or scared of me, or they don't want to "deal" with an alter, even though they're "dealing" with me and I'm an alter. Anyway, what I wanted to say was that I'm glad to hear that the idea of alters doesn't scare you, and it's completely understandable to be wary of alters you don't know yet.

The only time my alters have attempted to physically hurt/successfully hurt someone (other than myself) is when they were provoked. If someone tries to physically hurt them/me, then they're going to try to physically hurt that person in return. Otherwise, they'll express any feelings of dislike or anger or something verbally. Perhaps, at a place where you feel safer, you could try asking about the darker alters, to help you learn more about them and to understand them so they're not as scary to you. If not much is known about them, then just learn what you can about them so that if they ever come out around you, you'll at least feel a bit more prepared and will know a bit about who you're encountering and what to expect. If you don't know what to expect, then expect anything, and try to be as non-threatening as possible.

*Possible trigger, talk of violence*
My boyfriend Mike had a knife stuck against his throat by one of my alters, Kat, when she still went by the name Kataki. She hated him because she loved my ex and saw him as an intruder to her life who was in her way. But he remained sitting on the couch, calm, and did not let her provoke him into retaliating or anything. He was letting her know that he wasn't a threat, and that she had no reason to harm him; but he also showed no fear and was making it clear that her scare tactics weren't working. So she gave up on them, and never did hurt him.
Now, I'm not saying that everyone could remain calm and stuff with a knife to their throat, but it's just an example of how to stay non-threatening despite any scare tactics that alters can try to use. Obviously, you'll have your own "line of comfort" that you'll try to prevent from being crossed, but unless an alter attacks you first or does something like hold a knife to you, try to remain calm and un-threatening. You can even try talking to them, that often surprises darker or angry alters. They're not used to having people care about them or ask them questions such as "what's your favorite color", or even, "what's your name". Mike tried that with Kat/Kataki and it's what helped him to keep the situation under control and not have it escalate.
*end trigger*

As for your other friend, perhaps you could set up something like a password system? A newly surfaced alter of mine, Cassidy, likes to pretend to be Cassie, and she gets Mike to give her stuff like Cassie's ice cream. So Mike gave Cassie a password to tell him when he asked, and she was to keep it from Cassidy. It's helped him to know exactly who is out so far. Perhaps you could try something similar, either with a password or maybe a specific hand gesture or something.