Coming Out as DID

A few essential people know about my DID: my husband, my former wife, a chaplain friend, my physician. Today I talked with a good friend about it. He is outside of my professional circle, and we always have fun hanging around each other. He is also a thoughtful and compassionate person, but capable of encouraging me to be a goofball or be adventurous in the best ways.

He was sensitive about it and asked some questions, but he also joked with me about it in a friendly way. I was glad I shared it with him.

glad you had a good experience with it, and have got a good friend to share it with now too

I'm glad it went well. We are openly multiple, and most people have been really good about it.

I'm so glad to hear it was a positive experience! Just out of interest, what type of questions did he ask? I'm considering telling one of my friends about my DID and would like to know a bit more about what to expect... I've sort of prepared her for it a bit, telling her about dissociation and stuff and was surprised when she started asking me questions to give her and idea of how to relate to it from her experiences. I felt like saying, well it's not like your experiences, that's why you're normal!

mosaicmonkey wrote:We are openly multiple, and most people have been really good about it.

Wow that must be wonderful. It would take so much stress away because of not having to try to cover it up all the time. I really wish I could get to that stage. I've only told my ex-boyfriend (it didn't go down well ).

I'm glad to hear it went well! Yeah!

When I come out, usually people express some of the following:

Q. How long have you known?
A. I knew about the alters at age 16 but not what they were; I was diagnosed this year.

Q. How many alters are there, and what are they like?
A. My answer varies. Usually I say I know of X at this time, but I am still in the discovery phase.

Q. When do you / what makes you switch?
A. I usually decline to answer this question.

Q. When you switch is your behavior socially appropriate?
A. Yes, as far as I know. However, when I switch it is usually because the other person's behavior is inappropriate.

Q. Will I get to meet your alters?
A. I hope not.

Q. Have I met your alters?
A. My answer depends on who is asking.

Q. Do you feel tormented?
A. Yes.

Q. Are you on medication?
A. No.

Q. Are you getting good professional help?
A. Yes.

Q. Is it treatable/curable?
A. Yes.

You're lucky. Almost everyone I know thinks I'm faking it. There are also those that are extremely jelly. And then there's my sister who thinks it's schizophrenia and that I need to get on peelz

@ saltedlipstick, his questions were mostly about whether he would have seen any of my alters during our time together, and when they tended to show up. I was OK answering those questions; other people may be more guarded, and a lot depepnds on the friend and the friemdship I suppose.

salted lipstick wrote:I'm so glad to hear it was a positive experience! Just out of interest, what type of questions did he ask? I'm considering telling one of my friends about my DID and would like to know a bit more about what to expect... I've sort of prepared her for it a bit, telling her about dissociation and stuff and was surprised when she started asking me questions to give her and idea of how to relate to it from her experiences. I felt like saying, well it's not like your experiences, that's why you're normal!

mosaicmonkey wrote:We are openly multiple, and most people have been really good about it.

Wow that must be wonderful. It would take so much stress away because of not having to try to cover it up all the time. I really wish I could get to that stage. I've only told my ex-boyfriend (it didn't go down well ).

We had to be. Integration isn't our goal which means that we'll be multiple forever, which means we'd have to hide forever. Not an option for us, we couldn't. Firstly, in a system of approx 40, there is only myself and Mara 2.0 (who's uber robotic) who can pass as Mara. Also, we wanted to be able to be ourselves - pretending was making us all depressed. It helps that we now have a multie friend IRL who's also open, so the kids can do stuff together, and we can support each other.

epluribusunum wrote:@ saltedlipstick, his questions were mostly about whether he would have seen any of my alters during our time together, and when they tended to show up. I was OK answering those questions; other people may be more guarded, and a lot depepnds on the friend and the friemdship I suppose.

That's been our experience too; once they get past the "oh really? interesting" type comments, they then generally go, so have I met some? Most people feel really weird about the fact that the "Mara" they know is actually me but we haven't really had people be horrible to us about it, and as long as the questions were fair and not mean we were happy to answer them. I'm really glad it went well for you equilibusunum

That is awesome that it went well. I know it can be difficult.