This is an extreme topic - be careful coming on here

My own DID stems from satantic ritual abuse when i was a child. As with any DID, there is alot of deprogramming that is involved, because it all stems from abuse. It is perfectly logical, all the anger, rage, feelings of wanting to do this or that.
For myself when a part comes up like this i love on them, and go the way of acceptance, yet educating them. For instance i know that unforgiveness only hurts the one, that is the one, that is holding the unforgiveness. When i decided to forgive my step-mother i actually threw up all this bitterness that i had been holding n. It was such a relief! I think forgiveness is such a bottom floor need with all parts of me, and as they have we all feel better.
Sometimes we have to start with acceptance of feeling that way, nurturing, loving and encouraging. There can b layers of rage built up, anger and hurt. At one point i had a punching bag n my apt. and i remember hitting and hitting it. When i stopped, i sat down kinda out of breath and up comes to my memory something that happened long long long ago, that i had forgotten all about. Of course so much of what has come up has been stuff that i was totally disconnected from n the first place. I encourage u too let this part come out and express and work out their anger n some kind of physical way, until it is just that, worked, sweated, cried, and given enough support and validation 2 b worked out. There also may need to b boundaries that need to b set.
I have also found with myself that it has been helpful to do inner mind work, such as i will say for example. " I speak to my mind and open every file of hate, every file of abuse, and i pull down and off of my mind any programming that has taken place and decree that it is null and void." For me it has been very helpful.
Anyway, bless u and hear and know that we accept u.

Thank you, exceptional, that is very kind.

Bourbon

My hysband's only known alter had tried to kill him and threatened me. The only interactions I've ever had with William he once held me by the throat and yelled at me and the other time he pulled a knife on me and I had to get it away from him.
It's super scary for me. Especially the fear that he'll take over and become the dominant personality. I have to view it from his point of view. He's been cooped up for over 9 years. He's also the protector in my husband's system. So the time he held me by the throat he yelled at me to never speak to my husband that way again. The worst part for me is that my husband refuses to discuss it. I think we could make a big difference if we discussed it.
Try your best to keep yourself and the people around you safe and try to see the other point of view. It must be really frustrating to want to save yourself or harm your abuser and not be able to.
I hope it works out for you. Everyone dealing with a violent alter is scared so don't fault yourself if you are too

Well we also have to be wise to, and discerning if, it is even us, or an attachment, and if an attachment, what? Demonic? Often it is not flesh an blood we war against but principalities and powers of darkness.

TK's whole mantra for 7 years was "Kill, Kill Kill". Thats why we've labeled him a serial killer, a title he wears proudly. He has cut up our left arm and produces violent thoughts on a daily basis. I allow him to growl and snarl at stuff alone at home, and he does for a good 2 minutes. It seems to help him vent his rage and frustrations.

C, on the other hand, wrote an entire thing on why Jack is stupid before I became co-conscious and wrote what your reading now. Sorry, Jack.

We deal with these thoughts on a daily basis. The key is realizing the difference between fantasizing and actually killing that person. We never will actually kill someone, but we sure as hell will fantasize about killing those dickhead ex-classmates.

My Jack? I didn't even remember that he wrote on here. I can't handle his imagery very much and I don't think he's stupid for lashing out inside me. He has a LOT of deep-seeded anger towards men and people in general. I have no concept of reality most of the time now and it's literally a constant struggle to maintain his outbursts, especially at work. We'll walk by a cart of glass trinkets and he'll, in our mind, throw his hand out and break everything on the counter and I have to decipher if I really broke the things or not. He's done that with hitting people, tripping people, slamming their faces into food in their hands, choking them, ect. and it disturbs me since I can't tell if it really happened or not now . That kind of anger has nothing to do with protecting me, it's like impulse from him or something. All I know is that I'm constantly frightened of really doing damage because of his thoughts, like one day it will cross over and my arms will be moving and I can't stop it... Sorry, long tangent again.

He's homicidal and very malicious when it comes to how his hate transfers to me and others, despite the love he has for me it feels like hate at times.. I don't know. I'm scared to recall the time in my life when he was host and his sick nature was playing out in reality. That was 8 years ago and I still have no idea about the extent of his outbursts when he gains control. It makes me/us all sad that others are in the same boat with this turmoil.

OMG, I don't know which Jack you're talking about but I have a Jack (kid with gun -->) who we use red for. By another coincidence, so does MK91 (Shawna, who has a boyfriend with DID). So I'm talking Jack down now because he sees his name in red and is afraid he might have said something stupid or mean to somebody. I keep telling him he's hardly ever posted anything on this board and he certainly hasn't said anything bad and even if he had, he would be getting an apology, he can read, so forget it. Oh my gosh, wow, if nothing else convinces me I have DID and different alters inside who do not see things the way I do, this does! He's fine now, but this becomes a carnival sometimes. Okay, now he's laughing too because he gets how silly that was. Oh, no, now the twins heard that and want to go to a carnival. That was their favorite memory in childhood. Yeah, this is really my life. Our life. [Boy, I really, really want to delete this post, but no, someday, hopefully, I'll enjoy remembering this.] Nic and C. Nic -- no problem, seriously, just in case.