do all DIDs have an inside world?

Lots of you keep on describing your "inside worlds." To my knowledge, I have nothing like this. I am constantly daydreaming, having fake conversations play in my head, having videos of actual conversations play in my head, having videos of memories play through my head (sometimes with emotion, sometimes without)

but I really don't have an inner world. I can imagine one if I want to, I guess, a "happy safe place", but even that seems a little difficult to do. I don't really see any place as completely safe.

When I was little, I had a place called the Void, where all my imaginary friends lived and supported me. It wasn't very developed. It was like living inside a grey cloud, with beds and other areas for them to live in. I couldn't experience that place as vividly as I experienced the real world, but I could project myself there in my head when I wanted to. It went away as I got older, and I'm not sure those friends were what eventually turned into my others, but that was my experience.

'Course, whether I'm really dissociative or not is up for discussion, so take all this with a grain of salt, haha.

As I said in the inside world thread, two of my insiders don't have any particular setting. So I reckon it's optional. We don't have any kind of meeting place. When we've been all together, they've sort of gathered around me. The places that I know they operate in or dwell at are there for logical reasons that I can explain, and I became aware of the places together with whoever is connected to that place.

Maybe the reason why they have these locations is that I've always paid a lot of attention to my own surroundings, and also my distance from or closeness to other people, whether they are real, imagined or historical. I've also noticed that from certain ages, I remember places much better than people. Noticing interesting and beautiful things has always been my thing, ever since I was little and used to make little homes for my little doll, or just imagined homes during roleplay. My safety was often invested in places and my ability to isolate myself from situations and find something comforting either in nature or in inanimate objects. Just by looking at them. Visual details are very important to me. I also tend to picture my favourite places a lot in my mind.

My "inner world" is EXTREMELY blank and is more about contrasts of black and white rather than an elaborate creative area. I put that down to my extreme lack of creativity. Not al DID'ers have an inner world, no. Again with the levels of individuality with DID.

Uh, oh, I have to wonder if my world, drab as it is, actually existed before I started becoming reacquainted with my alters earlier this year. I kind of think it may not have. No wonder it was so sparse if it was only created recently.

I'm not sure the existence of a richly visual or symbolic inner world is about creativity, bourbon, or even multiplicity necessarily. If a child's mind felt a need for an inner world to escape to, I think most would and certainly could create one. Our minds generated multiple people inside us so there was enough creativity for that! Somehow I think that some children who were extremely lonely or abused or hurt but who did not become multiple were able to develop rich inner worlds as well. That would be interesting to know for comparison. I understand that our worlds may be different, however, because they provide a space for our alters and many are constructed to support our parts and keep them happy or, perhaps, to lock them up or torment them.

I started seeing more of my "inner world" the more I "looked inside". The more I learned about myself and my alters, the more I seemed to be able to see. I'm not sure how it got there, I think I imagined it a long time ago when I was little, because in my mind, Kat (the only voice at the time) needed some place to "live" so she "lived" in my mind. They didn't have their own rooms and such at first, though. Rain told me those were created out of necessity, like when Kat would get so mad that she'd go on a rampage, there was her own room created so that she could rampage to herself. I don't really seem to be able to control anything in there, either. I can't seem to make changes or anything, it is what it is. I've always had that living-room type of room "up front" and illuminated, though. I have no idea what illuminates it, but it's always been there, and that's where Kat and everyone else used to be before they had their own rooms. But seeing as how DID differs so much from person to person, I don't think everyone who has DID has an "inner world", and I think it's ok if you do and ok if you don't. Everyone's mind processes things differently, and "inner worlds" might help some to put their alters in perspective, while other people might not have a "need" for an "inner world", that could also be a possible reason for why some people have them and others don't. If that makes sense.

I am so rarely inside that if there were a world in there, would I even know?

good point.

"trigger warning - therapy talk"

My whole life I feel like I've lived all my life in my head, it's not an articulated world, but more like whenever any type of decision, confirmation, contact...anything had to be made in the outside world, I would sub-route off in my Internal world and every and all outcomes were negotiated in there.

It doesn't matter if I actually follow through with the actual situation, I will make up every outcome imaginable in my head and live them all out to their conclusion.

I once had a T describe it as "Philosophers Syndrome"

Since starting therapy I have been introduced to Seperation Therapy...a sort of guided imagery. The first room you are led to is the "bad room" for lack of a better term. Mine is an attic. Old wood, creaky floors, with a HUGE stained glass window at one end. Landmines are all over the floor, and everywhere are stacks upon stacks of packed boxes. All labelled with different years, or periods in my life. I know all these boxes are packed with the memories I don't have that have been hidden from me by my Others (years birth to 15). This is an interesting room.

Go through the window to find my "good place". Turns out its a tropical island, with amazing wonders and delights...but those are just for me

I just thought I'd throw in a bit of my world, it may help you with some clarity on your own journey!