Dysfunctional Eating

I have a terrible diet that is getting worse. For various reasons, I find I am unable to shop in the supermarket for food (little ones want to binge on sweets, I want only healthy food....ends up with me in a trance in the shop and no food bought), I am not doing well at the moment and one of the outcomes of this is binge eating even more than usual. My T is away and I have a couple of weeks off work - both serious issues for my eating.
I am getting fatter and fatter. I have gone up a dress size, am constantly aware of my weight and the more miserable I get the worse I eat.
I promise myself tomorrow will be better but it never is and if i do manage to avoid a binge today, the urge gets stronger so I end up doing it with knobs on tomorrow.
T says this is another form of self harm and it really feels like it at the minute.
Does anyone else who struggles with this have any ways they manage it?

Hi Jolly jo,

We identify with your situation. We try to limit the types of food that we keep in the house. This usually helps, but we have not been so diligent lately.

Good luck.

MDs

Totally get this. We do similar to MD. Only buy for the day or everything just gets eaten. Decide for going into shop what you are going to eat for the day and stick to list. Easier said than done I know. It is a battle I continue with.

Hi JollyJo,

We kind of have food problems too. Evan has this thing about food and wants ALL the food in the grocery store. Mostly sweets. Eating a lot makes him feel like there's enough food so he can calm down. Saying 'No more food' to him makes him super anxious.

So we got some cans of food and put them under the bed. We told him it is for Emergencies Only. If we run out of food we'll still have plenty of food under the bed. He calmed down some after that. He checks the cans every night before he goes to sleep but that's ok. I guess what I'm trying to say is you have to figure out why food is such a big deal so you can handle it a good way.

I hope this helps. I like reading your stuff.

Iain

we struggle with binging as well as binge/ purge and restriction, depending on who is in control...

for us it is important to find the one responsible for the urges to see what kind of emotions and thoughts cause the need to binge (or restrict) meeting those needs can stop the attacks. it takes a while.

when its getting intense we ask a friend to shop with us, a shopping assistant, who helps to buy the things that are on the list.
we make sure we dont buy typical binge food. super hard to binge with soup and carrots. seriously.
sometimes when we start we can turn it around, step away from the food, run outside and go for a walk, clear the head and find out what is going on.
i believe its impossible to stop it without looking for the needs inside and working with it.

Thank you everyone. I appreciate your thoughts.
MD: I also keep very little in the house. This is partly due to being incapable of doing the shopping but also because i eat everything we have otherwise.
LittleMe: The list is a good idea and I can do this sometimes when I am doing better. I get over it by doing it online and getting a delivery. Unfortunately you have to order a large amount of food in one go so I limit this.
Iain: I like reading your stuff too. I am sorry to hear about Evan but it sounds like you are looking after him. The bit about saying No More Food rings a bell with me. There is an inner panic when I am returning home for the evening and I don't have a binge or something nice to eat in the house. If i can get home without acting on it, i can usually manage but its really hard to do, and I don't know who is at the root of that yet.
Birdsong: I completely agree I need to find out what/who is at the bottom of this. There are definitely some little ones who want to eat large amounts of food and I have bad memories of food from childhood and the tension and dysfunction around it. I have been eating this since I was pregnant in my early twenties and it has got worse. My weight was managed previously because I would have times when I couldn't eat and so whilst my weight went up and down it didn't just go up and and up. As I have had enough therapy the inability to eat periodically has gone, resulting in a bit of a weight problem.

So, more bloody therapy for me then. I hate it when T is away. I also hate going to T. Can't win really.

dont know if that helps or stresses you out...
we keep an eating log where we write down time and what we ate.
for one thing it can help you get aware if its a response to certain events or happens at certain times, but in the end it helps us to see all the things we have eaten already. when it becomes so visible its like a shock and there is more likely someone inside going to react and stop it.
it could be really depressing as well...

Hi Jolly Jo,

We tell Evan - Everything is going to be alright - but the hard part is figuring out what Everything really means and what Alright looks like.

Iain

Birdsong: I think an eating log might be a very good idea. I can often not remember what I have eaten and it will mean I can analysise it properly. Shall start that tomorrow.

Iain: That all sounds very difficult but you reminded me that I have had some success by telling my little ones that rather than buying a binge we would go home, curl up on the settee, hug the dog and watch some TV. It took a huge effort, and I was feeling ok at the time, but it was quite successful.

Perhaps a combination of them both will be helpful. I also have a rag doll IDC has taken from the T whilst she is away. I have really struggled to let her have it, so perhaps i will try that tomorrow to. The odd thing is, its sitting on to of the microwave and I can't remember having seen it. Its like its in a blind spot.

sounds like a great idea!!

we have once asked around about non-food comforters for littles
dissociative-identity/topic183466.html
maybe you can find something there.