Therapeutical approaches to dissociation? (Recommendations?)

Hi there

I have tried searching the archives but I can't take anything much in right now.. sorry if this is a duplicate topic. :S

I'd really like to find out about your experiences with different psychotherapeutical approaches that have or have not been helpful to your System.

Teacake is partially very strictly against giving therapy another shot,
but there are those of us who are hoping seeing a pro might help us.
Thanks

I understand not wanting to give therapy another chance. We didn't either. In fact we wouldn't have gone back if not for several very particular events happening in our life back to back. Now we're in the process of trying to replace our T who most of us currently love or tolerate. There is some argument now about whether therapy is a good thing or a bad thing and whether we should continue it.

When we're not in therapy, we have a lot of books and workbooks to help deal with symptoms, but I honestly don't know if the workbooks are so helpful because of the therapy or if they would be as helpful on their own. One of the biggest things that's been helpful for us outside of therapy is to pair off (or group off as some of us has done) with an adult part helping a younger part.
I help Violet & Sneaker
Ellie helps Scout & Nina
Gensis helps everyone Snow helps C and Genesis
Victor isn't allowed to help anyone until he can learn to be less hurtful

Of course, this isn't a rigid hierarchy, but the younger parts do better having helpers like this.

Similarly so, trying to recognize when we are dissociating (sometimes) is helpful.
I think the most helpful thing to us has been communicating. Whether that's having a meeting at night where we all attend, writing each other notes or doing something nice such as letting one of the kids choose what we'll have for lunch or wearing their favorite color.

Hope you find something helpful. Sorry I'm so disorganized.

LittleRedDogToo wrote:I understand not wanting to give therapy another chance. We didn't either. In fact we wouldn't have gone back if not for several very particular events happening in our life back to back. Now we're in the process of trying to replace our T who most of us currently love or tolerate. There is some argument now about whether therapy is a good thing or a bad thing and whether we should continue it.

Thanks
It is such a relief to find others going through similar internal conflicts
We've been trying to pair off a bit, but we keep disagreeing on whether dissociation is even an issue for us, when other times it seems all to obvious that it has always been.


I had a very brief snoop on some local directory pages for therapists and I am confused by the different therapeutical approaches they work with. If we go for a consultation we'll need find somebody who is not dismissive of dissociation. If we do this we need to be able to outline our issues without being altogether too scared that our concerns will be dismissed as unrelated to dissociation.. or worse, that we will be mistaken as more disfunctional than we really are these days.

When we were in therapy as a teen we were diagnosed as major depressive. Dissociative symptoms were ignored or downplayed by our p-doc and while she did aid some of us in becoming functional again (which at the time, we really weren't). In hindsight seems like a major missed opportunity, which had numerous negative effects in addition to fewer positive ones..

I have had to search for a psychotherapist several times now, for myself and for someone else. My experience has been that there is a world of difference between those who are members of ISSTD and those who aren't.

It doesn't much matter what style of therapy the therapist practices, if they really understand how to treat trauma and dissociation. Many will say they do know, but don't (and they don't even know they don't). Some will say they are not qualified; they are likely to be able to give you the name of a therapist who is qualified. A few will say they do know, and in fact they do!

These few therapists should be members of ISSTD, or at least know what ISSTD is. They will know about the various trauma therapy models, especially the three-stage model. They will be able to tell you the different types of dissociative disorder. They will know that diagnostic tools exist for diagnosing dissociative disorders, know the names of some of them, and hopefully also use some of them or know someone who uses them. They will be able to tell you that treatment of trauma and dissociation does not involve medication. Interview them. Ask them questions. Listen to their answers. If you are not sure about their answers, share the answers with us.

Thank you Una+

Una+ wrote:Interview them. Ask them questions. Listen to their answers. If you are not sure about their answers, share the answers with us.

I might take you up on that
Thanks

Ho

Just thought I'd let you guys know that I have started seeing a therapist.
She seems comfortable with the way I speak abut different Parts - more comfy than my Mara actually so that's good.

Maledict (the one Mara calls Blue) was really antsy religion would get into it (he is a rabid atheist and the lady we went to see has faith) but in the end he did most of the talking - or in any case - the stuff we talked about mostly came from him.

I am seeing her on a week by week basis so hopefully Mara won't get worried about being bound to anything and we're on another lady's waiting list just in case we get uncomfortable after all..

Anyway - really just wanted to say hi and thank you all for your help.
This forum is so very different from any others I've visited - everybody is so constructive, helpful and caring - I feel like I post so rarely I just need to put a little thanks each time, especially as soon as I am reluctant to offer my advice to you guys in return (I worry I'll over simplify and end up saying things that are counterproductive as soon as I don't think I dissociate quite at a DID level - though we are certainly up there on the spectrum somewhere )

anyway- thanks so much - it's much appreciated that you all take the time to advise, help and care

I thought it might be useful for you to know the approach my partner's T has to DID, as it seems very good and healthy to me.

She started working with her again as this weekend has been absolutely crazy. Me and my partner went from not knowing about the alters, only having the knowledge that she dissociated under stress sometimes and had a form of temporary amnesia in regards to the stressful event, to being made aware of the alters' existence, meeting them, getting to know them, as well as finding out they were responsible for some things that happened!

My partner's T has an individual, personalised outlook for each DID patient. She believes that this is a condition that is not researched enough to make generalisations, and everyone's system and experiences will be different, and she definitely doesn't believe that "DID is a problem, let's medicate you to get rid of it".

My partner is lucky to have a system that coexists peacefully and has her best interests in mind, despite the starkly different personalities, so her "goal", if any, is just getting to know them, learning to live with them, and learning from them about the past when it's time.

The T told her that for her other patients, the goal might be something like integration, working with the destructive alters to change them and make them stop being destructive, learning to communicate internally... it all depends on you. My partner's very fortunate as she seems to have a T who cares not only about the patient, but also what's good for the system. Keep that in mind and think about what might be good for you all.

Best of luck!

The ISSTD has published guidelines, now in English and French, for treatment of DID in adults and dissociative symptoms in children. Have you seen these guidelines?

Just in case not, here is the link: ISSTD: Treatment Guidelines

Thanks hashtag and una+

I think our main goal is for Mara to feel happier in herself and Mal to get even better at dealing with his anger issues (the two of them kind of set each other off unwittingly.. but they're both trying hard to make things better). Both of them are very emotional.. their feelings are kind of like a hammer in the head.. a real onslaught.

I don't know if we could be described as "alters" but in any case, we are here, we are "us" - so no matter what category we fit, we aim to co-exist as a happy little family in here

Integration is kind of a dirty word in here, but becoming even closer to each other is definitely a goal.

Right, I am off to read through una+'s link

Cheers!
Teatime

hi we see a psychiatrist and treatment is psychoanalysis and cognitive behavioral approach. However, I do not go 3 or 4 times a week! I go monthhly- however, that all depends on your level of functioning and crisis as to how often your T sees you. You should "interview" potential T on the phone prior to meeting them. Not a long conversation but a few minutes to ask if they treat trauma and dissociation. at least you know!! I did not have a clue when I started therapy that I was DID. I just got lucky that my Dr treats and is extremely good. You should have a "feel" about the T and if you feel comfortable to make an appt. Good luck! Books are great for supplements, but they do not replace the interaction and treatment you get from a real T face to face. There's always ups and downs in therapy. Riding out the rough times and getting through those times when you just want to quit and swear you can't go through another session, or they just aren't getting you, or your SO is interferring, or you start feeling worse or that you are getting nowhere------ those seem to be the moments before a break through. Stick with it. It really is worth it in the long run. You can only benefit and your prognosis is SOOO much better in therapy than those who do not go into therapy. Just opening up communication within the system is a huge step in gaining control, becoming co-conscious is sometimes all a person can or desires to achieve. Integration is the optimal, but not for everyone.