Questions regarding Inner Worlds

Afternoon everyone. I've read many posts here about inner worlds and I'm a little confused about what people mean. My understanding is it's a place where you go when another alter comes out and you go inside, but when you refer to this inner world do you actually go there or is it more like an intense thought or a dream? Is it like a lucid dream or an out of body experience so it feels real and you have control over your own actions there so you can move around and interact of your own will and choosing? Or is it more flashing images, something you observe rather than interact with like a movie or is it very dreamlike?

I ask this because, as most of you know by now, I have my own little world that I often refer to as my inner world or my internal world. This place has existed long before, as far as I am aware, my possible DID and I can't exactly go there as such. Some of the time elements of that world often overlap reality so if anything that world comes out rather than me going in. However the vast majority of it does happen all within my head, like an intense daydream, and as I have said before there are people there who I love, places that I love to go and visit and generally it's like a parallel life. I'm not sure if this is just my incredibly intense imaginary world as a result of my FPP (Fantasy Prone Personality) or if this is what people call an inner world.

All of my alters have their own lives when they aren't using my body or out here talking to me. I suppose you might consider their lives like inner worlds. Scott is getting married to his fiancee of 6 years and has loads of friends who I often hear about. Darren lives in a very very weird nightmarish place. Ted is apparently rich and has a massive house (which I once visited when I was in some kind of trance from meditation) and I know little of Dean's life. I can't access their lives like they can access mine.

So if people could please give me some more detail about inner worlds (if people are happy to share) I would appreciate it very much. Cheers
-Hunter

Our inner world feels like the real world, which is why Jacob & I live there, really. It has touch, feel and vividness just like everywhere else. I don't just see it or enter it as such while I'm in the body. I can see it and talk to those inside etc when I'm outside, but upon entering, someone else enters the body.

I'm not sure if this is what you want to know but for Jacob & I - that is where we live. We come into the body when we have to, but we prefer living there. We don't have "our own lives" as in separate from the inner world that everyone is a part of though. Our lives in there are just that; in there. We live in the forest where also other alters live etc.

I'm not sure if this answers anything. Feel free to ask any questions

That's very helpful. Thanks for answering

Does your inner world run on real time? So if someone was to come out into the body the inner world would keep on running? I assume if all of the alters exist together in one place then your inner world wouldn't stop when someone is out? Sorry if I make any mistakes or make wrong assumptions.

How much control do you have over this place? Is there a reason it looks or functions the way it does? Was it made that way consciously? If you wanted to change how it looked is that possible? If you aren't happy to answer any of these questions then its fine.

I'm just really curious because I'm always in this body, unless co-conscious, so I don't think i've really experienced an "inner world" but I do have my own inner world which is more like a very intense fantasy which I more or less have complete control over and I'm almost able to exist in that place with enough mental focus. There are characters there I have made up or taken from real life and some I have taken from works of fiction. I don't think this is my "inner world" in regards to DID as such but I was just interested to see how inner worlds differ from person to person and how they are experienced.

I guess another question as well is if I'm always out is there a way I could possibly experience an inner world? Perhaps through meditation or something like that?
Cheers

Does your inner world run on real time? So if someone was to come out into the body the inner world would keep on running? I assume if all of the alters exist together in one place then your inner world wouldn't stop when someone is out? Sorry if I make any mistakes or make wrong assumptions.

How much control do you have over this place? Is there a reason it looks or functions the way it does? Was it made that way consciously? If you wanted to change how it looked is that possible? If you aren't happy to answer any of these questions then its fine.

It doesn't really work in real time. You can see our thread on this here: dissociative-identity/topic101476.html
But no, if someone comes into the body or switches it doesn't stop. There are lots of us in here, someone will always be in the body - and our world remains the steady thing for us all.

I don't have any control over it, really. I can choose to shower or do what I want or have fun in the snow or cook food etc. But I don't decide what is there, how it looks or anything. It's not a conscious effort at all, it was there already when I was made.

I'm more than happy to answer If there's anything else feel free to ask

Kyra's posted about our inner worlds (apparently we have more than one in a way) and how they work here if you're interested: http://www.psychforums.com/dissociative-identity/topic105434.html

Frank_Darko wrote:Afternoon everyone. I've read many posts here about inner worlds and I'm a little confused about what people mean. My understanding is it's a place where you go when another alter comes out and you go inside, but when you refer to this inner world do you actually go there or is it more like an intense thought or a dream? Is it like a lucid dream or an out of body experience so it feels real and you have control over your own actions there so you can move around and interact of your own will and choosing? Or is it more flashing images, something you observe rather than interact with like a movie or is it very dreamlike?

It actually depends on how dissociated we are, our environment, the situation, who's out, etc.

If we're in a public place and we're not allowed to fully dissociate/"zone out" (like if we're with a friend, or in a crowded place like a bus, or something like that), then our inner world is more like flashing images, things we observe, but still very real. It's like...looking in through a window of a building and watching things happen inside. Except we're looking into our mind and watching things happen there. This will also happen if we don't have music to help us go fully inside. (Music helps our imagery to become so much easier, clearer, and more real, and it helps us to get "lost" in ourselves, aka have the ability to be fully inside our inner world).

If we're allowed to fully get "lost" in ourselves, we have music, usually walking alone helps us with this, or if we're completely alone at home, then our inner world is much more real. It's still us going inside to this place, because we're the ones going away from reality/the outside world, blocking it out, ignoring it, not acknowledging it at all, etc., but we go so far inside that it "comes out" in ways and overlaps with the outside world. We mean this in the sense that we'll react to things happening inside, such as talking outloud to each other, laughing outloud at things that happen, facing where we see each other inside and talking to where each other should be (but aren't in reality), making hand gestures to each other, etc. The difference between reality and our inner world is kinda like the difference between regular TV and high definition TV. Reality is a bit more clear, solid, and well, real, although we largely suspect this is because we've learned by now what is real and what "should" be real and how to recognize reality from our inner world. Our inner world and it's happenings are a bit less clear, bit less solid, a bit less real, but they're real enough to where if we aren't looking for it, we'll react as if it was real and happening in the outside world. (Hope this is all making sense...) If we see each other as if we're in the outside world, it's for a split second, and then it's obvious again that we're seeing each other inside, not outside in reality. (So, the image is still there, but it's like it gets painted over/covered up by reality, and it's obvious that it's in our mind). So, we guess it's kinda like an obvious lucid dream- we know it's our inner world, and it can seem very real at times, and for everyone that's not "out"/co-hosting/co-conscious at all, it is completely real, but we're always aware of the difference between our inner reality and actual reality. (Including with memories. We have memories from things that happen inside, and we have memories from things that happen outside, and we know which is which and what happened in the outside world compared to what happened inside). We've found that whoever's out can never really get inside enough to make it seem as real as it is when they're fully inside and not out at all. We think the connection/awareness of outside reality keeps them from being able to go fully inside.

Frank_Darko wrote:Does your inner world run on real time? So if someone was to come out into the body the inner world would keep on running? I assume if all of the alters exist together in one place then your inner world wouldn't stop when someone is out? Sorry if I make any mistakes or make wrong assumptions.

Yes and no. It runs on real time, but it's obviously separate from the outside world. Pretty much the only consistency is the days. Everyone knows when a day passes because we have a mandatory "shut down" type of thing in place where alters can stay up if they want, but no one can be out, and everyone has to be in a room so that the body can at least get some rest/sleep.

For example, whenever someone hasn't been out for a day or so, the next time they come out they'll refer to the last time they were out as "yesterday", even if it was a week ago. This is because for them, that was yesterday, at least in the outside world.

Time seems to pass by feel for the most part inside. If an hour feels like it was 5 min long, that's probably about how long it was on the inside. If two days ago feels like a week ago, that's probably how long it was on the inside. If last year feels like it was 3 years ago, that's probably how long it was on the inside. We've noticed that for the most part, time seems to be relevant to how much goes on inside and how long it feels like something is on the outside. If we have a busy week that feels like we fit a month's worth of stuff inside that week, then that week was a month to those inside. That's loosely what we've come up with for our time passing theory, and as far as we know, it holds true for the most part.

Frank_Darko wrote:How much control do you have over this place? Is there a reason it looks or functions the way it does? Was it made that way consciously? If you wanted to change how it looked is that possible? If you aren't happy to answer any of these questions then its fine.

It varies. We can make whatever we want, but it can't be made instantly, and it does relate to how long it would take in the real world. For example, we built a karaoke bar a bit ago. It took about a week to build. Things might not take as long as the outside world, and they usually don't, but they do take some time and they don't/can't happen just "like that". My inner world (Cassandra typing now) wasn't made consciously. It was developed further consciously, but the living room type of room that we started out with was there without me. The bedrooms got created out of need without me or conscious effort. The control room got made out of need without me or conscious effort. The second level was there without conscious effort (though it wasn't found for a while). But reconstructions, additions, fixings, etc., that's all done by a collective effort, by more than just me, and with some sort of conscious effort on some level (even if it's nearly subconscious effort).


Kyra seems to have more control and free-range over her inner world, but then again, the year that she was hosting, I remember we were questioning reality a lot, wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't, and lived mostly in fantasy and our imagination most of the time, so maybe there's something to that. I'll see if she can answer these questions as well, because I'm curious to see if they'd differ from our's/mine at all.

Frank_Darko wrote:I guess another question as well is if I'm always out is there a way I could possibly experience an inner world? Perhaps through meditation or something like that?
Cheers

We access our inner world most easily by being alone, zoning out, getting lost in music, and either being completely alone inside or walking alone to no specific destination (we used to walk alone a lot to get out of the house, and we used to walk just to walk, and it helps us to dissociate). We've also been able to access it by meditating with music going on in the background. (We've found the best music that works for us is music with little to no lyrics, because otherwise, we see things happen or replay that fit the lyrics and we watch them happen to the lyrics. With music without lyrics, things still happen "to" the music, but there's more freedom in what can happen, because there's no lyrics to "dictate" what "should" be happening, if that makes sense).


~A mixture of us(?)

This is all really interesting. Thanks you guys for sharing. I guess I'm still not 100% sure I understand but I guess because everyone's experience is different I'm probably not going to get a clear picture of what it's like unless I really experience it for myself. I guess i'm still unaware if what I experience is an inner world in relation to DID or if that is my fantasy life in relation to what I experience with FPP. I think it's possibly more of a FPP thing which means I've probably never experienced an inner world in relation to DID. I think what I said just made sense lol.

Does everyone with DID even have an inner world? Or is it more people who have better communication and understanding of what they experience are then able to have more access to an inner world?

You did make sense

Does everyone with DID even have an inner world? Or is it more people who have better communication and understanding of what they experience are then able to have more access to an inner world?

I believe this depends on every system. Some experience their inner world after gaining more communication, some have always seen theirs (or this can be different for different alters) and some just don't have one

Lifelongthing is right, everyone's different. Some people have no idea they have an inner world until they start becoming more aware of their DID, some people have always had access to their inner world, some people have inner worlds as developed as you'rs, Frank_Darko, where it's a full-on escape and alters have their own lives inside and such, some people don't have an inner world, some people need to work on accessing their inner world, and some people might not be able to get inside their inner world. All depends on the person, their imagination abilities, and their system.

Inner worlds are created through imagination, and are often reached through imagination as well as something like meditation or being alone or listening to music, or something just focusing on what you can imagine/see in your mind (sometimes can be the same as "zoning out").

For the most part, we see things play out in our head, or at least, whoever's out sees it played out in their head. Those that are inside are inside and everything is just as real and the outside world. For those that are out/in control of the body, they're watching things happen as if it's like an intense daydream for the most part. Our inner world actually sounds somewhat similar to your's, except most of us don't have our own lives inside, though some of us do (like Valera, who stays inside for anywhere between days and years at a time). We have our own lives in the sense that we do our own things inside, like Kat exercises, the girl twins smoke and do art or listen to music all the time, the kids play in the daycare, Marie rides her horse- her horse?? (I had no idea we had a horse!!), things happen inside all the time, but they're only "seen" by whoever's out for the most part if they're focusing on them, and the inside world is a place that whoever's out can visit and spend time in and such, and it'll feel/seem like a very intense daydream, and they're aware that everything's happening in their head but at the same time it can seem very real, and things like reactions of whoever's out can overlap with the outside world/what happens in reality.

So, I guess to some extent we all have our own lives inside (except for the current host, because they're not inside that much, and they're "supposed" to be out most of the time anyway, that's why they're the host), because we all do our own things inside in between the times that we're out (if we come out). We don't just go to sleep or something when we're not out. We do things, pass the time, f*#k around, do hobbies, hang out with each other, and basically live like we normally would, just inside, and we don't have full-on lives in the sense that we don't have jobs or families or anything (well, we have each other as one big family, and that's how we kinda live inside. As one, big, spread-out family, although we've noticed that some of us consider each other family and others consider each other as more of friends or allies, and then there's a few here and there who don't like each other/consider each other "enemies". For the most part though, all First Level alters are like one big family with each other).


We hope that made sense...


~A mixture of us(?)

The inner world for us is literally just a big mansion and we all just live there. (hosts have room but rarely stay in them when out of course)

I'm going to talk about the for front/purple void and the mansion. not the rest.

In the mansion everyone has a room if not usually a wooden house in the forest (not incuding subsystems).
When a trigger happens it kind of activates there senses they can feel it all run through.and immediately they go to the purple void through a giant eye in a wall the eye colour changes depending on the alters mood.

When I try to recall the mansion actually being in there I can only remember flashes nothing is vivid or someone gives me a flash of an important event.
theres alot of amnesia between hosts and the mansion.

If I'm actually not in control of the body or even hooked up to the what we call 'collective concious' I'm actually standing on purple black nothing with white stars which are intergrated parts and alters with the void the void bends and molds to what you want it to be but always remains black and purple unless you put alot of effort into it. -Channelle

I constantly live in the mansion I love it. there I get to socialise with everyone else talk help out when ever I can (I'm a admin trainee). -Barry

I don't like going to the mansion everyone stares at me and talks to me I don't like it so I live in the purple void with who ever comes here

I found out about my inner space several years ago, and spent some time exploring most of it. It was strangely familiar. I didn't know I was dissociative at the time, and I didn't understand where this world was coming from. But now I understand a lot better, and apparently many multiples have experienced these inner spaces.

Recently I have started looking into the place in more detail. I've heard multiples saying that each of their others has a place inside the world. I'd like to know if anyone has experience that. I'm trying to learn more about myself in this way. For the most part it's just an old castle-like property, or citadel--without giving away very much detail.

For the most part, over the years I have been the host... I mean, it's very difficult to say that with confidence, but two others have served as the host temporarily during my middle-school high-school days, while a third personality served as the host for approximately one year--after a near-death experience--before he dissolved altogether. To whom does this part of the world belong? Do some of the alters have other planets while they're inside? And if so, why can I see this one and not the others? Or is it simply a hub between them? How did you sort these things out?

One of the others seems to lurk somewhere beneath the citadel, inside a "crypt..." May lead somewhere else? In any case that is his place. Another alter apparently works in his own section of the citadel. But I haven't found a section that would belong to the other three. When I started looking in my mind, my protective other came out and started being angry. He basically told me I was being reckless and it was dangerous to go poking around like that, and how he works his **S off trying to protect me.