The Courage to Heal Workbook

Book
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0061284335/?tag=bfftlbr-20
Workbook
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0060964375/?tag=bfftlbr-20

I have not yet read anything in these books, but have both of them. Has anyone else read that can get us started?

This workbook begins with creating safety:

"Feeling safe is at the core of the healing process."

Answer or think about these questions:
Have you ever felt safe?
If so, describe such a time.
Why did you feel safe?
If you have never felt safe explain why.
What would you need to feel safe?

5 Building blocks of Safety
The workbook then goes on to explain ways to feel safe.

Then asks more questions:
What feelings did I have as I worked through this chapter?
What am I feeling right now?
What sensations am I experiencing in my body?
How old did I feel as I worked through the chapter?
How old do I feel right now?

Sorry I tried to reply earlier to this and didn't have much luck.

Answer or think about these questions:
Have you ever felt safe?
If so, describe such a time.
Why did you feel safe?
If you have never felt safe explain why.
What would you need to feel safe?

5 Building blocks of Safety
The workbook then goes on to explain ways to feel safe.

Then asks more questions:
What feelings did I have as I worked through this chapter?
What am I feeling right now?
What sensations am I experiencing in my body?
How old did I feel as I worked through the chapter?
How old do I feel right now?

I want to say yes that I've felt safe, but the more I think about the question, the smaller I feel and the less safe I feel. I feel safest when I am far away from people and I am under a blanket (but not trapped!) and it's dark and i have lots of soft toys to snuggle. it is safe because no one else is there so no one else can hurt me except me.

i feel very sad. i feel like tears should be running down my face but they're not. my tummy hurts too and feels icky. my sadness is in my tummy and in my chest. it's too big and feels kind of like puking. i feel other things too but i don't wanna say them cause they're bad.

i feel very small and not big enough to fix anything. this is scary. i don't know what else to say.

Have you ever felt safe?
If so, describe such a time.
Why did you feel safe?
If you have never felt safe explain why.
What would you need to feel safe?

I have felt safe for a couple of seconds here and there, but I think this safety is different from a normal person's "safe". It doesn't mean I am wholly safe, it means "I will survive" or "in this moment I am okay". This is the closest we have come.

There was never a safe place to feel these things.

I think I would need more therapy and time to realize what makes me feel safe, what I like and don't like, what I enjoy and what I find calming.

I want to say yes that I've felt safe, but the more I think about the question, the smaller I feel and the less safe I feel. I feel safest when I am far away from people and I am under a blanket (but not trapped!) and it's dark and i have lots of soft toys to snuggle. it is safe because no one else is there so no one else can hurt me except me.

I get you! I have a hard time leaving my house! Now ask if the other alters feel safe. They need to understand they are in the here and now. That you are in a safe place and it is no longer the past. This is hard to grok for them. Now we all see why we need our hosts/ANP to continue with our day to day life. Even at that it is hard. Work with each alter that feels this. Also work on integration. The more you integrate the safer all parts will feel including the host.

i feel very sad. i feel like tears should be running down my face but they're not. my tummy hurts too and feels icky. my sadness is in my tummy and in my chest. it's too big and feels kind of like puking. i feel other things too but i don't wanna say them cause they're bad. i feel very small and not big enough to fix anything. this is scary. i don't know what else to say.

Obviously someone is not feeling safe. Work on this with them!

-- Thu Dec 27, 2012 5:00 pm --

I have felt safe for a couple of seconds here and there, but I think this safety is different from a normal person's "safe". It doesn't mean I am wholly safe, it means "I will survive" or "in this moment I am okay". This is the closest we have come. There was never a safe place to feel these things. I think I would need more therapy and time to realize what makes me feel safe, what I like and don't like, what I enjoy and what I find calming.

Yes, it sounds like some alters, perhaps the host feel safe now and then, but many do not. Work on letting these alters know it is 2013 (almost) and that they are in a safe place and their abusers are gone. Work on integration. No part wants to be alone! Integration will bring all parts together and make them feel far safer.

Yes, it sounds like some alters, perhaps the host feel safe now and then, but many do not. Work on letting these alters know it is 2013 (almost) and that they are in a safe place and their abusers are gone. Work on integration. No part wants to be alone! Integration will bring all parts together and make them feel far safer.

We are not really safe but we try to say that "right now, we're in our apartment and it's okay" and things like that. I refuse to lie to my system with a cover-all "we're safe" when that isn't true. But yes, we all need to realize that it's 2012 (soon 2013) and what that entails. Anya usually sings what she writes with Anya [year of her creation]. Now she's started signing Anya [he current age (she slides between 14-18)]. I think this is progress because it means she's realizing that it isn't indeed [that year] and that while her age is her age right now, the world around has changed a lot. Anya is the *trigger warning* that took the worst of the life threatening torture *trigger warning end* and nothing else until just a few months ago. So this has been amazing progress I think. Not everyone works towards integration and we are one of them. I think it's perfectly fine, but not for us. We are not alone as long as we have each other But I do appreciate the words, I really do

I think this is progress because it means she's realizing that it isn't indeed [that year] and that while her age is her age right now, the world around has changed a lot.

I could not agree more! I have had many host - well over 100 and they are out in the world and are the age of our body, but when they go inside they go back to the age they were created or an age under 16, even if they were created last year.

From this base age I have watched many of the alters age now. It's not an exact year when they age a year, but they are aging now! I too think this is progress!

As for fear.... Many parts of me are a fighter! I will take down anyone or die trying in a human to human fight and will not back down from a fight that needs to be fought. I do have a rational side too that will not go looking for a stupid fight. At the same time many parts of me jump at the slightest sound and are afraid. I cannot sleep alone. I don't like the dark. I don't like to drive. Fear is a complicated subject.

That is great progress, congrats

I have had many host - well over 100 and they are out in the world and are the age of our body, but when they go inside they go back to the age they were created or an age under 16, even if they were created last year.

Do you know yet why they are under 16 yet? You don't have to share of course, but I imagine there must be a reason

I don't. What I wonder if it is the case with all those with DID. Without my Observing EP that keeps track of their age and literally tells them their age inside, they just might think they the age they were the host last. I do know that this Observing EP tells me that I would only be 10 if I am replaced and go inside. Jessica who was the host when I began in this group and has made the majority of posts is only 8 years old inside now, but was created when this body was.... well Grandma age.