~For the Teens/Adolescents~

How is everything going?
This thread is kinda inactive...
Alexander

Angel: I'm in the process of being diagnosed with cyclothymia...other than that, nothing is going on in our system. I'm afraid we're a rather boring bunch right now. We just got over a rough few weeks.

We did want to say something on this thread before, but we felt awkward about just butting in. The majority of the alters in here are between 12 and 20.

chococat159 wrote:Angel: I'm in the process of being diagnosed with cyclothymia...other than that, nothing is going on in our system. I'm afraid we're a rather boring bunch right now. We just got over a rough few weeks.

We did want to say something on this thread before, but we felt awkward about just butting in. The majority of the alters in here are between 12 and 20.

No problem!
Everybody can be here, from 0 to infinite years!
Are you diagnosed with DID? Because Bipolar Disorder/Cyclothymia tends to be confused with DID
Tom's father "diagnosed" him with BPD and Cyclothymia, but Lana says that only a few alters here have BPD and noone has Cyclothymia.
Oh and there's a new alter who has OCD
But "as a body" we only have DID!
I think that people with DID and other diagnosis "creates" (not feigns, I mean it origins the diagnosis) them after the DID has "started", so in our case only a few alters (Tom, Patricia, me...) have "developed" BPD.
Christine has AsPD, Chris has SPD or AvPD...

*trigger warning - drugs*
On the other hand. I desperately feel like I want to smoke weed
I think it would help me when my quitting-smoking-tobacco-related anxiety gets worse (day 9!), and I just discovered that you don't have to smoke a blunt/joint, you can use a pipe so you don't have to smoke tobacco!
The thing is that I don't know how to buy it
(i'm not asking you to tell me how to buy it lol, I think that's illegal for me, the forums and you!)
Well I know how to buy it but I have to text one of those "unhealthy friends" (my friends seem to be unhealthy relationships LOL) and ask him for the number of a very interesting person
But I don't know how he will react
But I never tried weed and I desperately want to! So does Judit! And so does Justin!

Alexander Sky

Angel: Oh, I'm not the person with the DID, I'm an alter. So it's not the confusion of the illnesses, luckily. A few of us in the system have an illness of our own. Kat has OCD, and she's the only one (besides the core) that does. Riley 2 has ADHD/bipolar, and two others have AsPD. A couple others are suspected, but nothing else has been diagnosed for sure. As a body, we have many, many other things, lol, but it's nothing too bad.

The diagnoses in our system vary as well amongst the alters. I want to introduce the teens of our system (Sonja doesn't want to post here, but she's almost 12). Niva and the depressive. I don't know if either of them will be active, but want to offer them this space.

I don't understand why N is making us do this. I don't need friends. and the beast thing is a coward - she's not going to get anywhere here

I'm sorry. I don't want to.

See?

*TW*
I'm sorry. You can ignore me. I'm sorry. I'm scared> I feel sick. I hate this. I want to go away. I want to disappear. I'm sorry. It hurts. too much. It's too much. I can't take it. I need it to stop. Make it stop. Please make it stop It hurts. so much. I can't handle this. Let me go. PLease let me go. i'm so sorry. So sorry. so sorry. i want it out make it go away. I can't. I ######6 CAN'T.i'm sorry. please don't worry. I'm sorry. i'm sorry. please don't hate me.

Nobody's going to hate you sweetie. I wish I could take away your pain , I really do. I wish I knew how to make you feel better. You are not bad. I am proud of you for posting here. I know you want to delete it. Please don't.

Rana: I hope you'll feel better. Eve here is also upset. Upset about what will happen to us in the future. No one here in our system hate you.
Knowledge: Maybe it's better to find a psychiatrist so that he/she can give you an anti-depressant or other meds to "cure" your depression. Our psychiatrist did give us an anti-depressant meds. And we didn't feel any kind of depression. And Rana was like...
Rana: I was SUPER happy at that time! I hope you'll find a psychiatrist and get a good anti-depression meds.

(She's freaked out and confused that you're talking to her; maybe just give her time? She's afraid of contaminating you..)

We've had problems with ADs - SSRIs make her suicidal, and the meds that have cured my depression has not touched hers...

R2: We had one really bad experience with Prozac (the first meds we ever took), and haven't taken medication since...we're against it though because we never know how we'll react.

*TW*
Prozac was the first thing they put us on, when the body was 13; niva started cutting the body/the depressive/ninchen, which resulted in hospitalization, where they doubled the dose and where Sonja got us out of in three days. We left suicidal; the depressive started planning. After that we had horrible experiences with Remeron (WAY too sedating), Paxil (numb, shaky, etc), Effexor (numb, rapid weight gain, and out of control SI), Adivan (paradoxical panic response), and Seroquel (almost hospitalized). We refused to try anything for many years, only using natural/herbal/alternative things, as Aidan deemed fit for us. Now, however, we have found three medications that improve our quality of life immensely, without impairing side-effects. I no longer have numerous diagnoses - I am able to front most of the time because the social anxiety/agoraphobia is under control; ninchen is no longer mute and paralyzed; Aidan doesn't get us into trouble; niva doesn't hate us (as much), and the depressive is rarely around (though when she is her pain is as great as ever).. I don't want to hijack this thread (I'm 27).

Yeah, I like the meds, except the wellbutrin is too stimulating (but we just take more of the others to counter that). I'm ######6 pissed though at how censored I am by your 'not allowed's, N. It's like none of my feelings are valid unless you approve/agree

(I'm sticking by them, for the good of everyone)

I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm sorry... why don't you hate me? You should. i'm sorry I posted

You haven't done anything wrong! I'm sure a lot of people understand how you're feeling, and none of it makes you bad.

it hurts people

People care, but you're not hurting them.

... there's no hope for me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to live with me

What do you think of the meds?

The serotonin ones make me numb, which makes it easier to think straight about how I might off myself . The other ones are making me go away from you. I want that. To go away. I don't want to be anymore. I can't. it hurts. every. ######6. breath...

I want for you to feel better, not to go away. I'm proud of you for writing again. I know you don't feel it, but to me it's like a sign of hope, because you're trying/pushing yourself.

Oh my ######6 god this is so corny I want to vomit. ###$ your censoring. The beast thing is a ######6 piece of $#%^ that should be put out of it's misery - that's ######6 compassion

You do realize we're all in the same body..

I don't ######6 care. Get rid of all of us.

stop it! Not everybody is miserable and wants to die! I want to live forever! Maybe me and the depressive can integrate like me and Cedar did!?

That sounds nice You two would balance each other out nicely (Sonja can't feel painful feelings; the depressive has anhedonia). How about we work towards that?

Have to go to work.