I scheduled a online session with A J Mahari

Has anyone here ever chatted with her? I am amazed how much she knows, her texts are allways brilliant. I dont know wxactly what I am hoping, I am always so uninterested about everything but I thought she could tell me some inportant stuff.
I feel so hopeless, I really have no hope of ever living a less miserable life. If someone could at least situate me, tell me where I am stuck. Nothing happened in my life on the last 7 years, and I know That I am hiding from life. It feels safe but also excrutiating. I dont know if I will ever get out of it.

In some of her texts she claims that he path demands you to get in touch with your inner pain. The growth will only come through it and on hiding yourself from it you are just making it bigger. This text called the abandoned pain is the one I most identify myself with. ANyway I dont know If at this point I will have the strenght to do it, and even if I am capable of if I decide to do so.

I am kind of nervous about this chat and I will ask to happen through text messages as english is not my first language and I would feel more confortable this way. I dont feel like speaking out loud about my issues especialy in amother language. Lets see how it goes..

i've never heard of this person before... good luck with it though, i'm sure it will be a positive experience

Hi Jucafelix,

I haven't chatted with her, but have thought about it. I have some of her ebooks and have found them helpful...

i dont know if you've spoken to her yet, only just saw this msg, but if you haven't, since i'm guessing you only get a limited amount of time, it might be a good idea to figure out what you might want to talk about first? - or she might pick up on stuff and figure out what she thinks is most helpful to say, i dont know, not having actually spoken to her.

jucafelix wrote:In some of her texts she claims that he path demands you to get in touch with your inner pain. The growth will only come through it and on hiding yourself from it you are just making it bigger. This text called the abandoned pain is the one I most identify myself with. ANyway I dont know If at this point I will have the strenght to do it, and even if I am capable of if I decide to do so.

About the abandoned pain, i relate to "abandoned pain" too. there is no such thing as never. if you can't face it right now, the first step is to accept that you feel you can't face it, and ask yourself what you feel that is making you feel like you can't do that.

there is no such thing as not capable - you are a human being with emotions, and you relate to that text - that in itself says you are capable. there is such a thing as not being ready, but at the same time, there isn't, you are where you are, and you are working from that point.

wherever you are working from, you are preparing to and even beginning to deal with those things, it just takes time. if you are looking this far, you do have the strength. you just need to take things one piece at a time.

If you haven't done yet, you could always use this thread to write down some things you might want to talk about?

if you have done, hope it went well! - did you find it helpful?

Did you have your session yet? I love her site; she has recovered from BPD which makes her very insightful. She actually really gets what's going on with us, which I find both comforting and at times painful to read about why I feel certain things and behave in certain unhealthy ways.
I really think that she has one of the best BPD sites out there. I hope that you were able to gain some insight and some comfort from your session with her.

i have considered this. be interested to know how you get on, good luck with it! x

I have had telephone sessions with A J Mahari and she has helped me tremendously. I was in a long term relationship with a person with bpd and I first posted here in December 2009:

borderline-personality/topic45145.html

I discovered AJ Mahari and started working with her. At first I spent so much time talking about my ex and wondering why she did this and why she did that. AJ taught me a lot about bpd, but more importantly she helped me to begin to see that the more I kept focusing on my exbpdgf, the more I kept avoiding my own issues. She helped me to look within and face my own stuff, which included my own feelings of emptiness, loneliness, insecurity, sadness, and inner pain from my past (mine had a lot to do with growing up with virtually no validation from my parents). And so I found myself attracted to women who were self-absorbed or alcoholic or bpd.

AJ Mahari is great. She really gets it since she is recovered from bpd and has even been on the other side in a relationship with someone who has bpd. She also talks a lot about that we each have this inner woundedness that we have to work through. Believe me, I've vented my anger, sadness, hurt, and I'm now in a great place in my life. I like me.

I feel like I'm writing an endorsement, but I'm just trying to share with you what my experience was. If you haven't tried that session yet then I'd recommend you do it. I feel like my life has been changed for the better. But it took me some time to work thru this stuff. I'd say, read her writings, be patient, and read other stuff on other forums too because there are a lot of others going thru the same things and it helped me to know that.

Good luck in your journey.

Glad she managed to help you, FeelingBetter! Her ebooks helped me a lot when i first started trying to sort through my problems, and still thought the idea that BPD might be part of them was ridiculous, lol. Reading them not only helped me see, but also helped me with other stuff too, so i've been one to recommend her too before.

I've been working one-on-one with AJ for a little over a year now. In our weekly telephone or video chat sessions, we talk about a variety of topics ranging from my BPD symptoms to events in my past that might account for certain behaviors to tools that can help me lead a better life in the present.

I've documented some of my experiences here: http://theborderlineexperience.com/category/bpdetox/

You will be exploring difficult and painful topics, so be prepared. AJ is supportive and kind, and her insights are usually very good. I've also found her audios helpful. Best of luck!

-Mitchell Stevens

In my opinion not only is AJ the leading expert in BPD, she is one of the most ethical people I have ever known.

I trust her completly and highly recomend her not as just and expert on BPD, but also as someone who has unique insights into the human condition in general.

I would trust her with my life and I did.

I decided to talk to AJ after listening to a lot of her work on bpd online. She knows the ins and outs of bpd and can explain its complexity in a way that's really accessible. In my sessions with her, I have found her to be down-to-earth and laid-back. She will draw on examples from her own experience which makes you feel like you're talking to a friend, and she does not pull punches when giving her opinions. She has a real no-nonsense approach that makes talking to her really worthwhile!