I'm new, and have read countless posts here. I haven't found anything like what I experience so I thought I'd ask. I apologize if the info is somewhere and I haven't found it.
I am somewhere on the bipolar spectrum (doc hasn't decided exactly where yet) - but my mania/hypomania comes in the form of extreme anxiety and stress to the point where I could stand in a corner of the room and literally vibrate. This extreme is well controlled with Lamictal, Effexor, Latuda and Cipralex.
My depression is more prevalent and less controlled. I still go through periods of extreme lows. I am getting so frustrated.
My question is - does anyone here get triggered by changes as they relate to the passing of time/children? I find the beginning my kids school year, and Christmas/New Year's, triggers my depression big time. I get so extremely sad and low mood when I think of my kids growing up, time passing quickly, changes that time brings (such as recent death of my dog) and the bad things that come with time passing. I obsess about it. Everyone else seems to just go along with life and enjoy it and not dwell on normal occurrences with passing of time. Lately I don't want to get out of bed because it feels very much like "what's the point" - eventually all joys come to an end with time. I can't enjoy things because they will be over at some point, and the anticipation and feeling of these ends is overwhelming.
I don't know if this is "normal" or not for BP or for non-mentally ill people. If it's not part of the BP, then I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like I just start feeling normal on meds, and then the bottom falls out.
I find this trigger is not active sometimes, but at birthdays, New Year's, school year starting, etc. is gets bad. I just feel like everyone is going to grow up and leave me and I'll be a useless human being drowning in her own sadness.
I'd love to hear if you've experienced triggers like this.