Is this kind of trigger "normal"? TW

Hi all:

I'm new, and have read countless posts here. I haven't found anything like what I experience so I thought I'd ask. I apologize if the info is somewhere and I haven't found it.

I am somewhere on the bipolar spectrum (doc hasn't decided exactly where yet) - but my mania/hypomania comes in the form of extreme anxiety and stress to the point where I could stand in a corner of the room and literally vibrate. This extreme is well controlled with Lamictal, Effexor, Latuda and Cipralex.

My depression is more prevalent and less controlled. I still go through periods of extreme lows. I am getting so frustrated.

My question is - does anyone here get triggered by changes as they relate to the passing of time/children? I find the beginning my kids school year, and Christmas/New Year's, triggers my depression big time. I get so extremely sad and low mood when I think of my kids growing up, time passing quickly, changes that time brings (such as recent death of my dog) and the bad things that come with time passing. I obsess about it. Everyone else seems to just go along with life and enjoy it and not dwell on normal occurrences with passing of time. Lately I don't want to get out of bed because it feels very much like "what's the point" - eventually all joys come to an end with time. I can't enjoy things because they will be over at some point, and the anticipation and feeling of these ends is overwhelming.

I don't know if this is "normal" or not for BP or for non-mentally ill people. If it's not part of the BP, then I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like I just start feeling normal on meds, and then the bottom falls out.

I find this trigger is not active sometimes, but at birthdays, New Year's, school year starting, etc. is gets bad. I just feel like everyone is going to grow up and leave me and I'll be a useless human being drowning in her own sadness.

I'd love to hear if you've experienced triggers like this.

Welcome to PsychForums!

To answer your question, I do get triggered more from a negative event then most other people do. I obsess and it starts to show how it has affected me by me getting depressive episodes even while on the same medication. Those are sort of like mood swings but sometimes they last days. Getting into a minor car accident did this to me. I got very upset and it's very hard to move forward for me, it seems. The beginning of the school year for my kids is something I dread and I think that is why I suddenly don't want to do anything or get out of bed because I sort of been triggered to a depressive episode.

Lack of sleep over a long period of time causes me to become manic. So, I wonder if certain events would also cause depressive episodes as well. That is a good question you have asked.

Holy crap. I can relate completely. I get so down around New Years and people's birthdays(especially mine). I can't stand the thought of getting older. It's so hard to bare the idea of losing the ones I love and I know it's only a matter of time. These thoughts put me in a real low mood. I don't have any advice to give but do know that you are not alone in feeling triggered by these events.

I'm new here, too. I was diagnosed with BP2 in 2015 after a suicide attempt; before that, I'd had bouts of and been on meds for major depression every 2-4 years since I was a teenager, including postpartum depression with my first 2 boys (I have 3).

When my depression was at its worst, in the years before my suicide attempt, the start of school and New Year's and the end of school triggered me. I felt like everyone else but me was working toward something, accomplishing things, moving forwards, and I was stuck not doing anything except taking care of the kids, lamely attempting to parent them, and keep my head above the depression waters, if that makes sense. Since my diagnosis and starting different meds, my base mood or average mood is a bit higher than it used to be; I still feel like I need to be doing more with my life, but I have ideas about what that might be, I have a little more hope, and I can imagine a future for myself instead of feeling like everything is futile and why bother. Well, most of the time - when my mood dips I still feel like that, but it's far less often. I currently take 60mg Latuda and 60mg Cymbalta, but that's after trying Abilify instead of Latuda (it's too spendy for me, so my pdoc switched me to Latuda so she could give me samples) and instead of Cymbalta, 120mg of Zoloft and before that, for about 9months after I got out of the hospital, Lithium. Maybe tweaking your meds will help? The other thing that has really helped is CBT. It took a while and I felt stupid doing some of the stuff, but between the meds & CBT I finally feel like a person again.

HTH & hugs if wanted,

EK

Oh man ! I totally fixate on time and aging all the time. Always waiting for that bad phone call or person to show up at the door to give us shocking news.

I find I get a real painful nostalgia when I am about to go into an episode. Usually something to do with my childhood.

Or yes noticing people around me aging and the idea of scenes in time ending .... I find myself going over my timeline and talking a lot about change.