Where do you live?

Hello

Where do you live?, when did you move out of parents? and how did you cope with the huge change?

In my own home with husband.

First left home at 19 for uni, then moved back in from 22-24, moved back out at 25 on advice of psychologist! It was a relief (controlling family) ... never looked back. Didn't settle down with significant other until early 30s.

Change is always hard, but much easier when it's a relief. Moved house last year, still not settled ... it takes time, even now!

How did you cope going to uni, you said that you had a controlling family, I have a controlling sister but she moved out and now its much easier.

In the USA. I moved out, kinda around 22 or so. Actually, I continued living in my family home while my father moved. I lived in an apartment for one year and that sucked. I dealt with the change okay. I've always been independent and kinda doing my own thing. My lifestyle didn't really change when I lived on my own. I moved out of the family home into a new home recently though. That change went okay for me, too. My lifestyle has pretty much been constant since I was a teenager. Since my lifestyle didn't change, the venue was okay to change.

ogr wrote:How did you cope going to uni, you said that you had a controlling family, I have a controlling sister but she moved out and now its much easier.

Uni was a roller-coaster - I had some of my happiest and most difficult times there. Academic side was a pleasure, the social side was much more difficult, but I made friends there I still have today. My problem - as I now realise - was that AS was unrecognised back then, so there was no support when I needed it. These days it is more likely to be there, thankfully.

I needed my independence so leaving home was the best thing, but I didn't recognise it until pointed out to me! I have a good relationship with my family these days, probably largely thanks to that (BTW I lived abroad for a couple of years).

positivelyportrayed wrote:
Uni was a roller-coaster - I had some of my happiest and most difficult times there. Academic side was a pleasure, the social side was much more difficult, but I made friends there I still have today. My problem - as I now realise - was that AS was unrecognised back then, so there was no support when I needed it. These days it is more likely to be there, thankfully.

Sounds like my college experience, to a degree. I did well academically, but socially I just didn't really care. I had a few friends over the years, but nothing that lasted very long. I was okay with it at the time...social ties just didn't interest me much at all. Now, they do a little bit more

I needed my independence so leaving home was the best thing, but I didn't recognise it until pointed out to me! I have a good relationship with my family these days, probably largely thanks to that (BTW I lived abroad for a couple of years).

This also relates to me well, too. My father and I are very different people, personality wise. Our ideals and views are very different. When we lived together, this would cause quite a few issues, and largely I just kinda stayed by myself. I was very excited when I able to live on my own. I also learned, fairly quickly, that I probably couldn't survive with a roommate, no matter how alike we'd be. I like my quietness and space...plus things are consistent when I'm by myself. I think our relationship (my father and I), is much better now given that we recognize we need the space and just try to enjoy each other's company when we're around each other. This is hit and miss, though..we still have our problems with communication.

TDT wrote: I did well academically, but socially I just didn't really care. I had a few friends over the years, but nothing that lasted very long. I was okay with it at the time...social ties just didn't interest me much at all. Now, they do a little bit more

Yes, this sounds familiar. I guess the difference in my case was that the social aspect did matter to me, in that I couldn't get my head around how people seem to form social groupings so naturally, although often I was very happy in my own company - it was (I now realise) the endless stress of trying to make sense of an over-complex social world that caused, at times, intolerable stress. This element of social comparison has dogged me all my life and I still often don't get it, although I am a lot happier in myself these days.

In the US.

First moved out at 19 because I was fighting with my mom a lot and she would not allow me to do what I wanted to do without her checking in. She would also get very upset that I wasn't spending time with her. I lived with my (at the time) life long best friend. I had my own room and bathroom, we shared a six month lease. After the first month or so, I started staying over at my boyfriends most of the time.

After my lease was up with my friend, my boyfriend and I got our own apartment together. We did really well living on our own together without any other roommates. It was hard financially though. We lived there for a year and a half.

In August we moved back to my moms house, instead of renewing our lease again. I am now 22. Things were ok for a while, but I think I did better on my own, because then I can follow my own schedule, arrange things the way I want them, ect.

I must be lucky, i have a fantastic relationship with my mum.

Yeah we disagree, on many things but at the end of the day she helps me with anything I could even think, she understands me.

I do have a very close relationship with my mom, but I suspect she has bipolar (or something similar). She is very co-dependent as well, and I am very independent. She often gets mad and upset if I don't "need" her. This is why our living together seems to cause problems.