Hi all,
I'm new here and I am an NT in a relationship with an Aspie.
There are things I need to feel secure enough to move forward in our relationship. Financial security, for one.
I tried telling him this, and explaining why. He countered with all the reasons what I need can't be promised/planned in advance. He claimed to understand, but kept going on with all the "can'ts".
He didn't understand when I told him I didn't feel like he was listening to me, even though I calmly explained why I felt that way (I'm a calm, rational, logical person. Very minute amounts of female drama exist in my being.)
I struggle with knowing if I am cut out for a lifetime with an Aspie. When I told him this, because I am trying to be honest, he said he thought I could do it. And if I couldn't, I could get the strength from God. He didn't sound alarmed or bothered that this is even an issue for me (though he says a lot he's afraid of losing me), or that it's something we need to work through somehow.
He is a great person, very loyal and has a lot of wonderful qualities that I love about him. But now I worry that he'll never listen and always pass off my concerns/needs as irrelevant because he always thinks he's right.
Is this typical for an Aspie? Is it something that if he is made aware of it clearly and logically, it can be consciously worked on?