The process of detachment in the third person is probably not such a bad thing, however the way in which we catch and hold our thoughts during such intense emotional experiences will determine the amount of suffering we experience during such times.
Accepting the feelings without placing so much weight on them I find is key. Detaching from the process of thinking (the story) I find really helps. Feel the feelings, but try not to feed them. I tend to feed the negative thoughts in a vain attempt to run from the experience, yet cling to the trigger.
Only when I allow myself to feel the emotions without the feeding and clinging - (the thinking and judging) - am I able to detach in a way that affords me the opportunity to catch myself from such a point of view, that then allows me to better hold such thoughts and feelings as they be. I attempt to place no expectations on them whatsoever.
You know what really helps to adopt this process. Inhabiting The Body.
You don't need to go all zen or join some monastery. I'm just alluding to mindfulness techniques.
I've got a lot of short circuits in my head that often flip me into extremes. I've been practising many methods and thankful at this stage remain medication free.
I'm no pro and in fact still unable to hold down a job let alone pretend I know anything. None the less, I figured I would share in the spirit of help. My description offers a little more than simply telling you to hold your breath.
It's all in the practice. I hope some of what I said, makes a little sense.
Leave all the analysing to the professionals and those that love to argue & debate.
(I do see a therapist 10 times a year and yearly - that too is part of my process [it's good to be heard]
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