i am ashamed

[tiredofmyself]

when a friend said: ur mother hasnt taught you anything
and i didnt fight back

when a colleague shouted at me in the office n i couldnt fight back

when i cried in the office

of the gay @@@@@@@ i had in train

of the sexual fantasies i've had that were self-degrading

of the fact that i was molested n didnt do anything

of the time i was crying and laughing on the road and had no control over myself

i feel like my life is ruined. i dont see any hope. i'm 25 n get so jealous when i see others. when i see anyone on tv, i get so jealous, that i'm living a miserable life.

i have no friends, my mother had her issues n i have serious. it's tiring. i eat just for the sake of it. i know i am wasting my life.

by the way apart from the early child sex, i'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend

n now i have no friends.

i've been bullied a lot. i've also done bad stuff. i think i am genius, and am delusional. i day dream all the time. i am so tired of my life.