what is going on here anyway..? *tw*

[seabreezeblue]

I have literally no idea why i feel so bad.. i can't even seem to make up my mind from one minute to the next about how i feel..

My chest hurts and so does my stomach.. i feel like i've just been dropped into a sea of despair..

wth is going on..? I usually handle my emotions as they come in..

now i'm crying again even as the rational part of me is sitting here going ''huh..?''


this better be part of whatever medical stuff i've got going on because i really don't need clinical depression to go along with the bundle of joy that is c-ptsd.. oh and the dash of abandonment traits.. and the self loathing.. the utterly annoying and whining eating disorder that i thought i got rid of but who sneaks back through the window whenever i leave it open..


weird.. i was okay this morning.

[seabreezeblue]

now i have a really irrational (and i mean severely irrational) want to have a baby.. i keep looking at them in their prams and my friend is pregnant..

i think we can safely say that some of my emotional stuff is hormonal huh..


now i love babies but i did decide not to have any more.. apparently my body doesn't agree..