I have delayed ejaculation, I want to solve it

Hello

I have retarded ejactulation, I don't take drugs, I have a good health, and I do exercise. The problem is I can ejaculate by masturbation, and if I stay without masturbate for 3 weeks, I can ejaculate, no very fast, but I can do it.

I read that, and I think what's really happens.

Masturbation can cause RE. If a guy starts masturbating early and doesn't have alot of sexual partners in his life through his teen years and perhaps his 20's, he can get so used to the feel of his own hand that regular partner sex will not feel "right" and he will not get stimulated enough.

I have 30 years old, I don't have a partner. I only have sporadics sex

In this case I would like to know what have to do to solve my problem ?

Thanks in advance !

Not sure if I can answer this, but offer some of my issues, and some insights, some questions to ponder...

Before you read the mess that follows... people seemed to be having success after reading this thread... start there...

http://www.psychforums.com/sexual-dysfunctions/topic34762.html

Any of my sexual partners will tell you that I take forever to finally ejaculate, you're not alone. I've been known to go for several days before I can finally let go. For me it's more mental. If I'm tired, or not really feeling connected, or we just had a fight, or I'm stressed or what not, then I just can't seem to let go. Trying only makes it worse.

I have some peculiar needs though. I like hair, the small of the back, curves of any type... mood, lighting, I can't believe the things that need to be going right for me to be able to go. Even when I masturbate it has to be a certain type of imagery, usually of my partner, I don't much care for pr0n. Most of it I find very distasteful. I like lingerie. Black with red accents.

This is not only frustrating for me, but I know it also gives my sexual partners a bit of an inferiority complex because they feel as though it's them and they don't have what it takes to turn me on. This sometimes leads to arguments, hurt feelings and all sorts of other problems. Like I'm not feeling bad enough, this leads to performance anxiety. Sometimes I have to have 2 or 3 sessions in a day before I can go. My partner usually don't mind as during this process I'm doing my best to make sure it's not torture for them.

If it's lingerie, it has to be just the right cut to highlight that curve on their body just right. I like change. The same motions in the ocean are less appealing for me than they are for my partners. I can't even seem to ejaculate when my partners try to get me off with their hands. That really does not go over well. I can't stand felatio it just seems wrong to me.

I don't even do that well with my own hand, so I don't expect them to be any better. I am a total mental and visual requirement kinda guy. I'm 33... it's not meds either.

Sounds simple... but maybe you just need to define what turns you on more. It's taken me way too long to get this sorted out. But I'm starting to understand it. I'm not that much older than you. Don't give up.

I'm way more about the connection anyways than the final climax. Maybe you just have different desires. Is it really troubling you? Does it disturb you? Does it bother your partners?

Have you identified any underlying pressures that may be bothering you? Are you cirumcised? I've heard that there's some occassional deadening of and desensitization caused by this as the skin toughens on the head of the penis by friction against clothing.

It could be chemical and hormonal related, do you have any symptoms of depression? Were you raised in a strict religious surrounding? Ever caught by a parent masterbating? Is there another underlying social stigma? Have you tried external stimulus like images? Movies. Not that I'm proponent of these things, but if you're as picky as I am, you might have a lot of exploration to do. Tried your other hand? There are sexual toys for men.

You might also want to talk with your urologist, or family doctor to make sure there's not something physiologically causing you difficulty if it becomes a continuing problem. Nerve damage? Any childhood accidents? Dig deep... you don't have to answer these publicly. Just walk through them systematically.

Do you have low-self esteem? Any personal identity issues? Are you okay with you being you? You might want to read up on inhibited sexual desires. And related disorders. Be well...

I can teach you how to resolve your problem..I want to share also my problems and experiences. please post a reply to this thread

Just post, Myke. I don't think anyone here would be unhappy to hear what you've learned.

i actually tried kegels and worked.. but im still trying to look for some more methods to cure this problem....

Do you mean during or as an exercise in general?

A lot of guys with RE tighten to attempt to cum and it works when they're alone but not so much when they are with a partner having intercourse. But tightening during is apparently not a good way to cum according to some sex experts. I mean, if it works, it works and what works is good. But I know from my own experience that I can cum when I tighten and that's forcing it versus when I get a nice, natural, relaxed OMG!!!!! Of the two, the natural/relaxed one is better. My plumbing is different of course so your mileage will almost certainly vary!

i have also problems in curing painful ejaculation. maybe too much masturbation are the factors sometimes but how can we stop it when it gives us satisfaction right?

Have you seen a doctor? Pain is telling you something is wrong. Listen to it.

yea, i have..i have also look for some ebooks and they are good. i have also joined forums that share this kind of problems

And yet you share no potential solutions. Are you hawking ebooks?