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When I fall in love I no longer want to have sex with them

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When I fall in love I no longer want to have sex with them

Postby Cooper97 » Tue Apr 03, 2018 5:12 am

So I am a 20-year-old male college student with an interesting history. I have been diagnosed with NPD, ASPD, and OCD. I have been in love a few times in my life, and am currently, but I lose all sexual desires with that person once I fall for them. I still have the urge for sex like crazy, but at the same time, I don't want to with them. I'm sure if they wanted to I'd be able to, but I honestly don't know. I don't see the association between sex and love, but I would never want this girl to be with another guy. For reasons I don't know I guess I haven't always respected women the most. I would be perfectly content doing nothing more than kissing with a girl I love, if I could ###$ hookers on the side. This might seem totally crazy, and please redirect me to another forum if I am on the wrong one, but I would love someone's input.
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Re: When I fall in love I no longer want to have sex with them

Postby MarkP » Tue Jul 03, 2018 1:26 pm

In my case I went from just admiration to full sex in 2 days. She invited herself to my student room one evening, we kissed and touched each other that night ,and the next day I penetrated her. She is now my wife of many years. Most women want sex with the love, in fact many women have a stronger sex drive than their men! Try to combine sex and love in your mind, and I'm sure you'll have success. But don't rush her into sex. If she jumps on you, go with the flow!
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Re: When I fall in love I no longer want to have sex with them

Postby SoSurprised » Sat Sep 01, 2018 6:42 am

I don't agree with Cooper97, I don't think he has a clue what you are talking about.

What drew me to your post was that once you fell in love you had no desire for sex. That is an interesting thing you need to look at. For me, that is what my partner said. I am much older than you (56) and he is as well. And he looked at sex prior to love as "conquest". But once love, he had no desire. Unfortunately, he has since thrown me against a wall and broken many things in my house that were meaningful, signaling to me that he didn't love me at all, but was using me for anything he could get (sociopath); but I have always bought into his deep sadness at the abuse he had in childhood.

You may want to look into that. Was your mother a protector? Was your father mean and abusive. Did your mother take you under her wing? Love can get confusing and I suggest that you begin to take a deep look at your past life and recognize that you have identified something that fortunately if you can repair in your young age you will be able to live a full life in the future.

But one thing, don't pretend it doesn't exist, because it will come out in a very sad and ugly way in your future.
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Re: When I fall in love I no longer want to have sex with them

Postby Objectified » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:30 pm

I feel a little similar to you but a little different as well, I will be able to have sex with them if they put a big effort into making me comfortable with it (I have a traumatizing past)

Perhaps, its because you see hookers and other people whom you'd have sex with as sexual objects because you dont have feelings for them?
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Re: When I fall in love I no longer want to have sex with them

Postby LeelaTuranga » Fri Oct 12, 2018 7:57 pm

this is old but i am thinking maybe you have more inhibitions when something matters because you can be hurt/rejected/ego etc.
but when is an object it doesn't matter.an object with no attachment can't hurt you really.only what matters can.
it is nice in relationships when you can loose inhibitions and still love the other.
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