Unable to reach orgasm during intercourse

I am 60+ overweight, diebetic2 . I have been married for 35 years. I have stopped looking at porn, and have not masturbated for quite a while now, two issues that can cause retarded ejaculation.
I started to masturbate when I was 12, and didn't have sex with a woman until I was 19. I had sex with several women, but didn’t ever cum in them. After 5 years , I started to date a woman and the first time we had sex, I didn't have an orgasm with her. I didn't masturbate for a week and had another date with her. We had sex and this time I had an orgasm In her. We dated for the next 6 weeks and I had sex with her around 20 times with an orgasm each time. After we broke up, I was able to have orgasms with other women.
I got married and we had two children. I gained a lot of weigh and after 25 years or so, we didn’t have much sex. It was during this time that I started to have retarded ejaculation problems.
Two years ago, my wife had a change of heart and we started to have sex on a regular basis. I had severe erectile dysfunction and couldn’t penetrate her so I would give her oral sex, then she would give me a hand job. Then we went to a urologist who gave me a chemical compound that actually produced a great erection (Viagra didn’t work at that time). We were able to have intercourse, but I still couldn’t cum. She started to give me oral sex but I still no orgasms. She has to finish me with a hand job. Her elbows and arms are starting to hurt now (she is in her mid 60’s) and I am afraid she will stop working with me.
Here’s the bottom line. When she gives me oral sex, it feels awesome. I feel like I am close to reaching an orgasm, but can’t cum. It’s like climbing a mountain and not being able to get over the top. When we have intercourse, she lays at the edge of the bed and I stand in front of her and penetrate her. Sometimes I could feel her and sometimes not. Last Saturday night, she placed her bottom on a thin pillow and the angle of her vagina and my penis were perfect and I could feel her. We had sex for over an hour and she came several times, many of them deep. She was totally satiated. I was closer to climaxing that I had been in very long time, but no orgasm.
Now I believe my retarded ejaculation is mental. I have trust issues since she is a bully. She belittles me for being fat, finances, and other reasons. We are retired and if we divorce, we will not be as comfortable financially as we are. I am trying to work on my weight problem. What I am wondering is if I could use hypnosis to help me relax. I am sure that if I was able to relax, I could reach orgasm. Does someone else have a solution? Thanks

I have Klinefelters & suffer from "Anorgasmia Ejaculate". I ejaculate without any pleasure (orgasm), and rarely feel anything myself during any act.

I went to a Male Sexual Health Specialist. They suggested neurological retraining. So get aroused with a 'Vitality Life' (sexual health prescribed device) & finish with vaginal sex. Its about retraining yourself to feel again.
Perhaps you should see a sexual health specialist with your partner. NB Sexual Health Specialists are different to Sex Therapists.