Victim of incest with strange fantasies *Trigger Warning*

From the ages of 12 to 14, I was a victim of mild incest. My aunt seduced me with her breasts. She would let me suck on her breasts. She would sometimes teach me in my private area, and a couple of times deep kissed me. The worst she ever did to me was she dry humped until I ejaculated. I have strange feelings about the ordeal. Its a mix of fond memories and guilt. I used to feel guilty because it was incest, but I still pursued the relationship because I got to play with breasts. I ever wondered If I was in love with her.

The worst thing I think it did to me was leave me with this obsessive fantasy of young teen boys having relationships with sexy older women. I don't like think about anything besides incest fantasies. Though i think the incest fantasies don't have to do with the relationship I had with my aunt, and that it was just the taboo appeal. But I'm really concerned about the fantasy about young boys aged 13 to 14 have relations with adult that I have. I can't think of any other fantasies. Its gotten to the point where I find news stories of young teens getting molested erotic, and thats not right. To clarify, I like to insert myself into the teen characters I create for my fantasies.

I'm quite concerned for myself, does this still make myself a hebephile? What does this mean? I am very attracted to adult women. I love the developed female body just as much as the average man. What should I do?

One thing you could do is talk to someone you trust about this.
No doubt your aunt taking advantage of you has had a huge effect on your sexuality,
including your troublesome fantasies.
What she did to you was so very wrong.

If it's possible for you to get a therapist to help you walk through this stuff with you
and sort things out, I'm sure it would help.

Don't worry about giving yourself a label.