today

in class we talked about how people develop.. like our prof. said how when you meet people, date someone whatever.. that whether it's a good or bad experience it helps you figure out what you want in a partner/friend. Object relations theory, looking glass self etc.. simplistic stuff for now but I almost cried.

Then she said "write down positive characteristics about yourself" and gave us a few minutes to do that and my heart just sank again. I could only come up with FOUR things... she asked people to share how those self-concepts might be related to things people have told them about themselves. People said normal things like "I'm polite" or "I'm a good person to talk to" and I just thought.. if you asked me to write down my negative characteristics I could fill the whole freakin page. It's just embarrassing, I never want my professors to notice my problems I feel like it's discrediting or something.. Is there a way to hide it or can people tell..? Maybe I'm just paranoid I dunno

Why do you think you feel the need to hide your negative characteristics?

Maybe I'm the weirdo, but I think flaws are what make people loveable. Nobody wants a perfect partner or a perfect friend. How could we relate to them? We'd just feel intimidated and inadequate in comparison.

I like it when people are open about their weaknesses. It makes me think they must have a certain level of self awareness and acceptance. I think it also can build intimacy, as by opening-up the pretence of perfection is removed, and they can encourage others to be themselves and feel accepted.

What made it hard to come up with positive characteristics? Is it because you feel badly about yourself and don't think you are a good person? Or were you afraid to be seen as vain and boastful? Or do you not actually know what your strengths are?