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I am bored, today I feel totally bored. I'm not sure that I like the idea of how small we are in this life and how big the world is. I'm thinking that I might also stay abroad, rather than trying to find a good job in my crappy country for the rest of my life. I may also do a phd and add some meaning to my meaningless/selfish life.

I used to want to get a Phd in order to have something to do, but mostly so that I could be called doctor. Also, I love to learn and do well in the college setting. With the help of my AA sponsor, I decided that I could learn a lot without getting a Phd. Eventually, I took on a research project that put me in Who's Who. Another goal I took on was to read a lot of books; in a little over five years I read 1000 books--nearly all nonfiction. Right now I have another research project going on, just for fun. I find it helps if I'm always working on something, always learning. If I sit still, I tend to self destruct.
Jim S