***/confusing stuff, PLEASE help\***

I have a really weird problem, that I usually hate talking about because I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful for all I have, or complaining all the time.

I usually actually have a pretty good hold on life, or at least now I do. When I was in 9th grade I was shy and almost scared of people. Then I stopped and thought things through, and everything began to change from then. I got friends, I started caring about looking nice, I got a really optomistic attitude, and its been a long rollercoaster emotions, but now I'm in 12th grade, and I am a completely different person. I love myself nowwith the exception of a few bad days, I have an amazing job at abercrombie that I love going to, I'm extremely outgoing, and this was my goal, and I am really glad I acheived it. I jumped through hoops to gain self-satisfaction, I took a lot of risks and went out of my comfort zone. But now there's a whole new set of problems that I wasn't prepared for, and honestly, things were much simpiler when I kept to myself.

My biggest problem is the whole "Oh I've never seen you before thing". I'm really happy that I'm comfortable around people now, but It is upsetting when I get told from someone in my own school that I didn't know you were in my grade. I feel almost ashamed of how introverted I use to be, but I know I shouldn't because there was nothing wrong with me then, I just acted differently. Then I went to a party, where all the people I use to be scared of were, and had fun until I was getting told that they've never seen me before, or 'who do you hang with'. Ever since I lost my best friend I've hung out with people, but nothing how me and my bestfriend were. This holds me back from having a boyfriend, because I'm afraid he'll think I have no friends, and right now I could date the boy of my dreams, but I'm so afraid now. Ever since that damn party I've been freaked out to go to another one like it,and he hangs out with everyone that would put in that bad situation. In class, and at work all is great, and small groups is fine, but I dread being caught in a large party being asked those two damned questions. I forced myself to go to a couple others, but I still hate all these mixed feelings. Sorry for being so complicated, and sounding completely shallow.

Any advice would be aweessomme, and I really need it. Thanks!

Liz!

Sounds to me that you've done a great job with yourself but still lacking some confident in yourself. Not only in who you are now but also who you've been. But please, correct me if Im wrong.

It's interesting that you use the words "being caught". Is that how you feel when people ask you those questions? If yes, have you asked yourself why? You also speak about almost feeling ashamed of who you were. And you're right, you should'nt.

I think it's good though to challenge this fear of yours, to practise feeling more comfortable in social situations. But don't put too much pressure on yourself. Be patient and you´ll notice it will gradually change to where you will feel more and more confident.

I wish you the best!