The other day I saw the phrase Selective Mutism and became vary curious about it and how it worked. In my research I came to a realization, that I had felt and done very similar things, but since I'm 16 and have never been diagnosed with SM I was pretty sure I didn't have it. But when I read about it, it reminded me of when I was younger and the only people I was able to really talk to were my family and other kids in my neighborhood that were around the same age as me. It reminded me of more recent events where someone would suddenly try and start a conversation or asked me a question and I would freeze up, it was like I couldn't speak and I could barely move.
There are other times when I can only speak in whispers but I'm not sure if that counts as a symptom of SM. And even when I think my voice is at a normal volume or I'm being kinda loud my friends almost always tell me to speak up. It's not like that all the time though, when I'm with people I'm close to I'll talk a lot even in a room with classmates that I have never talked to. And before I started going to therapy, if I was annoyed that people wouldn't be quite like during someone's presentation, for example, I was able to snap at them, I don't really understand how I was able to do that though because when I have a sensory overload even if I want to tell people to be quite it's like I physically can't do it and I'm not sure if that's SM or just Anxiety (which I have been diagnosed with).
Even when a classmate or teacher asks me to do something simple I don't talk and when I do it's short quite reply but then again I wasn't diagnosed with SM when I was really young. This has got me really confused because on one hand I'm impulsive and have no filter but on the other it's like I have way too much of a filter. I hope this made sense my mind go on tangents sometimes so my point doesn't always get across.