Advice Needed as soon as possible

Just a bit of background first. My fiance and I live in a large home with 4 bedrooms. It is just he and I so we rent out the extra bedrooms to tenants. On Sept 4th my fiance got a call from a work associate. We knew he had been in an unhealthy relationship but we are the types that don't get involved in peoples relationships unless they are abusive. I didn't know him well and my fiance knew him more from work then anything. Well he called saying he was leaving her and just had to get out.

We had one room available and we had him come over to see it. Showed him the downstairs that is set up like an extra suite so they have their area and we have ours. Explained the rules of the lease and the costs and such. 6 month lease. All seemed fine and he took the room.

For 3 days everything was fine. He talked about how peaceful it was here, the animals loved him and all was well. Then things started to change fast. First he started talking about how everyone at work had basically staged an intervention to get him out of the relationship. When asked who did he said he didn't know. When asked what they did he said they left messages around the store (works at Walmart) being very demanding about what he had to do. This sounded weird to us and we told him that interventions are when a group of people basically confront someone it is not done in secret. He was positive they were doing this. So then we told him that the store would not get involved in someones relationship. He dropped it.

The next several days he walked around mubbling to himself. I would hear snippets of it where he would be watching traffic from the porch or from the living room window and he would say "I know what that means" or "I understand". This was starting to worry me. He does not seem the least bit violent but it is weird. So finally one day I asked him what he meant and he would say they were signs being sent to him on what he should do. I asked him what was signs. The colors of the cars going by. HUH????? I told him they are just colors and he would say he is not crazy or stupid and then walk out of the room.

Then I noticed that I would tell him something, like what types of things he could use in the kitchen and bathroom and so on. The same day but later he would ask me agian and when I would tell him I already explained it to him he would get frustrated and said I had not. Then he started asking me what part of the intervention my fiance and I had been a part of. We told him we had no idea what he was talking about. Explained to him how this was just a business deal and that was it. For a while he believed us.

Then he would rant for days about them (who them are I have no idea other then it is people at work and he has no idea who) is setting up the movie displays and the clothes displays to play mind games on him and send him messages and he was getting sick of it. Said he told the bosses to make 'them" stop but they must be in on it. I would ask what messages they were trying to send and he could never be clear.

Every few days he would go into a rant about how he will just sell his stuff and leave. My fiance would remind him of the lease and then it became us locking him into a lease to use and control him. Ummmm no. He would then be fine for a couple of days.

Now he is saying the whole city is in on it. They (still don't know who they are) won't let anyone hire him because they want him to leave the city. That THEY got his son involved as well. When asked what his son says he then says it is not anything he says it is the hits he leaves him like the color of the shirt he gave him. Now he is saying he is going to confront his bosses at work to find out who got his son involved. His son is 13 or so and lives with his mom. Says his ex (sons mom) is involved too and if he gets proof he will take custody and move back to the states.

My fiance has talked to his bosses at work becuase he had heard a rumor of then considering firing him because of his erratic behaviour. Come to find out that he had accused several staff of spying on him and following him. And that he had told the boss to inform THEM to stop playing mind games with the messages. My fiance told them that I had done some research on symptons and we were thinking the issue is Paranoid Schizophenia. He told them he is going to call our personal therapist(friend of ours who is a liscense therapist) and get some advice. We knew who his psychologist is because I also see the same one for my Post Tramatic Stress Disorder that I got from being raped as a teen. They said to let them know and that if he can prove he is getting treatment then they will help.

So we phoned our friend and he said by the sounds of it we are right and that we need to talk to his psychologist right away because he has admitted that he has not told him anything pertiant about the issues. We will be seeing his psychologist tomorrow. This I am not totally comfortable with because I just don;t feel right going behind his back and giving his doctor this info. But on the other hand if we are right then he is spiraling down fast and we are scared that he might do something to hurt himself.

Other things he has said is that his mind is racing and he just wants it to slow down. That he can't sleep longer then 3 hours. He has also admitted that he was sexually abused as a child and has not told his psychologist that either. He has no idea that we think this is what he has. When we asked him about mental illness he says he is not crazy or stupid and walks off. He already thinks we are in on this suposed intervention and we don't want to make his paranoina worse.

Any advice on what to do? We do see his psychologist tomorrow but living with this guy is very stressful and he hasn't seen his doctor in over 2 weeks and doesn't see the need to right now.

Help?

Sounds like he's building up toward an episode. I've seen it many times with myself. I used to think in similar ways as your friend here.

If it was me... I would get him out of your home as soon as possible. You don't want to be around when his episode comes to a head. In my case, I almost killed a family member. You don't want something like that to happen.

Of course, if at all possible, try to help the guy out, any way you can. But draw the line somewhere... you don't want him near you and recovery for this illness takes months and years.

Take care.

This reminds me a bit of me when I first started experiencing mental problems. I was under the impression that radio stations were targeting me. I went around telling people of this. Now when I look back I can say see what did I tell you now everybody is dead. .

What it is is a part of the brain becomes overactive and draws similar traits between different things and usually reverts back to yourself. One becomes very obsessed and will sturggle for the answer. It can be one big downhill slide all the way to being locked up in a mental institution. I stuggle to believe that one is completly wrong when under these types of delusions, Good Luck.

This is crazy. I've actually never lost my mind like that. One time I was smoking weed, and I thought I was reading my girlfriends mind while I was driving lol. But that only lasted like a couple hours. This dude thinks the whole town is against him. Why does he care about his wife anymore didn't he leave her. Well he should be on medication, but hes probably gonna have to go back to his parents house. Once hes on medication hes definetly safe if its working, but if he decides to get off the medication so soon then he will just revert back to that state. You probably shouldnt be held responsible to taking care of him though since you don't really know him that well. I am suprised by your tolerence with this guy. Anyways just get him to a safe place, and it seems like he needs to talk to his wife in a couple weeks.

crazymoth wrote:Sounds like he's building up toward an episode. I've seen it many times with myself. I used to think in similar ways as your friend here.

If it was me... I would get him out of your home as soon as possible. You don't want to be around when his episode comes to a head. In my case, I almost killed a family member. You don't want something like that to happen.

Of course, if at all possible, try to help the guy out, any way you can. But draw the line somewhere... you don't want him near you and recovery for this illness takes months and years.

Take care.

With a signed 6 month lease getting him out is not an option unless he breaks the lease in some way. And he hasn't. The reason we are going to talk to his doctor is that if some how he can be convinced to go back and his doctor has the information that he is lacking he should be able to get him the help he needs. Our problem is how to convince him to go back to his doctor with out him thinking we are in on this huge plan to get him out of town. He has always seemed like a very nice guy except for the situations described in my above post. He will help people without question and no thought to gaining something in return, usually very polite, he is a clean living type of person in that he always keeps his living area clean and so on. He doesn't have anyone in his life right now that seems to care.

-- Mon Sep 26, 2011 3:48 pm --

Rattatat wrote:This reminds me a bit of me when I first started experiencing mental problems. I was under the impression that radio stations were targeting me. I went around telling people of this. Now when I look back I can say see what did I tell you now everybody is dead. .

What it is is a part of the brain becomes overactive and draws similar traits between different things and usually reverts back to yourself. One becomes very obsessed and will sturggle for the answer. It can be one big downhill slide all the way to being locked up in a mental institution. I stuggle to believe that one is completly wrong when under these types of delusions, Good Luck.

That is what it seems like here. He seems to find signs every where and messages everywhere. He says he has been like this since he was a child. That he can read people and the signs they send him through abjects and so on. It is exhausting to me to try and wrap my head around it really.

visualizations wrote:This is crazy. I've actually never lost my mind like that. One time I was smoking weed, and I thought I was reading my girlfriends mind while I was driving lol. But that only lasted like a couple hours. This dude thinks the whole town is against him. Why does he care about his wife anymore didn't he leave her. Well he should be on medication, but hes probably gonna have to go back to his parents house. Once hes on medication hes definetly safe if its working, but if he decides to get off the medication so soon then he will just revert back to that state. You probably shouldnt be held responsible to taking care of him though since you don't really know him that well. I am suprised by your tolerence with this guy. Anyways just get him to a safe place, and it seems like he needs to talk to his wife in a couple weeks.

He is 43yrs old. His ex wife and his split, I think about 4 or so years ago(Sometimes I can't keep it all straight). The relationship he just left was one he had had since leaving her. His ex wife and him are involved because he sees his son on a regular basis. Very nice and polite kid too. So they talk regularly. He ex girlfriend whom he just broke up with like to make the delusions worse. Even when he moved in here she tried to play on his delusions by saying my fiance and I had called her on our cell phone and had set up a time for them to meet so he could get out stuff. She left him a note with the supposed cell phone number and the message on her door. When we confronted her she would not admit she lied so we pointed out 3 things that proved it. One we don't own a cell phone. 2 we had been home all day with the tenant except when we went out after 7pm and she had stated the meeting was for 5. 3 when the number was called the person there had no idea who we were. She was told she was not allowed on the property agian for trying to cause drama(I rarely do that). She tried to convince him for days later that we could not be trusted and were in on it and so on. It was crazy. I have met the ex wife though and she seems very nice.

He can't go back to his parents. He is trying to become a Canadian. He has been here I think 7yrs already and his visa is up in 7 months. He does not want to go back. But that is not our concern.

My tolerance is that my PTSD can be sever to the point when I have an attack it looks like a seizure. I have lost jobs, friends and family over it. I know what it is like to have something that people judge you over and many times abandon you over. My fiance and I have already discussed that if it starts affecting our relationship or my disability then we will draw the line. The same if he breaks the lease. Right now we are just trying to figure out a way to get him back to his doctor after we see him so that he will have a chance at getting help.

Keya1976 wrote:That is what it seems like here. He seems to find signs every where and messages everywhere. He says he has been like this since he was a child. That he can read people and the signs they send him through abjects and so on. It is exhausting to me to try and wrap my head around it really.

Well yeah it's exhausting. Quantum physics always is. btw... is he a diagnosed schizophrenic or were you under the impression that the strange behaviour he has shown leads to that conclusion.

Rattatat wrote:Well yeah it's exhausting. Quantum physics always is. btw... is he a diagnosed schizophrenic or were you under the impression that the strange behaviour he has shown leads to that conclusion.

He is not diagnosed. Like I said in my first post this is our best guess based on his statements and erratic behaviour. We are trying to figure out what to do. We see his doctor today to give him the info because we are worried that he might end up hurting himself if he keeps this up. He has talked about his previous suicide attempts like they are no big deal. We asked out therapist friend what to do and the advice was to give the info to his doctor. From there we have no idea what to do because we can't seem to get through to him that this stuff is not going on and it could cost him his job, which then in turn could cost him his room here if he can't pay rent.

I wonder what would happen if you hired some actors to say they were the ones behind it and no one else. I wonder if he would let go.

Very disappointed in the health care system. I had always been told that if you are worried about someone's health/life or so on to seek out proffesional help or talk to their medical team. Yet when we went to talk to his doctor yesterday(who is also mine) he would not let us tell him anything. Not one thing. Seriously. As soon as we mentioned it was about another client that we rent a room out to he basically started to usher us out. Even when we said he could be losing his job over this behaviour and that his actions and words are making us worried that he might hurt himself he still said it was basically none of our business. Didn't even take the guys name down. No details about what was going on. Nothing. He even said that the therapist we talked to should be ashamed of himself for telling us to come speak to him. HUUUUH? Your my doctor too and I am trying to figure out how to deal with this issue that is stressing me out and worrying me. Nope doesn't matter. And I did say all we wanted was to give him the info about his erratic behaviour and we didn't want any info about him in return. We also said we just wanted advice on how to handle things when he does these things in our home. All met with it is none of our business. No wonder it is so hard to get people with mental illness help when doctors like this won't even let people who are concerned open their mouths.