what is wrong with me?

I am 19 yrs old about to be 20 soon. I have experimented greatley with pychadelic drugs such as LSD, marijuana, and have abused the medication adderall. I have been clean of all drugs for 4 months (last I did LSD was more than 6 months ago). I have always been dis-assocaited with social norms. Even before I started experimenting with the substances I stated, I have always felt as if I was different and truly could never relate to people (LSD in particular just made me explore more into my social alienation). To be honest, the whole reason I got my self involved with these extremely harmful drugs is because I couldnt deal with myself and the world around me. I eventually got out of that phase and realized how the social world worked, but it has been hard ever since.

About 4 months ago I got myself on track and figured out what I wanted to do with myself. Being clear minded and scheduled made me feel normal again. I have begun to acknowledge cetain things about myself such as: I have a pornography addiction, I will not look myself in the mirror due to my acne, I engage in intercourse with random women just to make myself feel good, some days I wake up ready to go and happy, some days the thought of getting out of bed makes me sleep even more, when I see other people happy I get angry inside, I have hostility towards friends because of certain things that make me tic. I am also paranoid, but it's hard to exactly define my paranoia, it's extreme at times but not often.

I know drugs didnt help, but my problems were already present before my usage.
I have always had these qualities; my pornography addiction started in 9th grade and it had just evolved immensly ever since. This is my greatest concern.

I have researched schizphrenia because I have truly thought that I am. I dont hear voices, I dont hallucinate, I dont feel like someone is "watching" me or whatever, but, I do have paranoid characteristcs in which make me questionable.

psychosis

Although I can't give you a diagnosis (as I'm not a dr) I can say with all confidence that you are not schizophrenic. I don't know all the details about paranoid personality disorder (I believe that's what it's called), but that sounds closer to what you're describing. However, if your bouts of paranoia are that minimal, I don't know if it would qualify for a diagnosis.

I'd say your best bet right now would be to seek counseling, that will help teach you how to work through your issues.

Good luck.

Well psychedelics are serotonin modulators mostly, adderall is a dopamine agonist and marijuana is a cb 1 agonist. these all lead closer to psychotic states. dont do adderall at all, try other non-toxic low-dopaminergic drugs for vigilance. you will get better over time by just laying off the drugs. theres alot of things that you can do about acne. like taking alpha lipoic acid, saw palmetto, changing diet, it obviously has to be something strong, along with precription acne cream. alot of people have casual sex, but if your ethics are again'st it just hold it in. you can also do stuff to lower your libido. the first two weeks of quitting masturbation is hard, but eventually your mind moves on to other things. some days you would have to basically fall asleep while wanting to jerk off, but instead drink some like l-theanine, chamomile tea, valerian root, benadryl to fall asleep quickly or be more interested in falling asleep. just take alot of vitamins for the psychosis problem, the hppd goes away in like a year, along with ideas that you recieved during trips will also fade away. i actually got the same idea as foucoult when he wrote the history of sexuality from an lsd trip in the desert. i sub-psychologically held on to that idea for about 8 months, but then proved to myself that my previous ethics on sexuality were more consistent. you seem like you are in an irritated mood on society. what i do is try to find my place because there is a place for everyone, and basically think about making it a better place. i had an ayahuasca trip earlier in the year that reintegrated me back into society. alot of people dont like the "place" they are in on a multiplicity of levels, but society is not homogeneous or even homogeneous perceptually in the same place. then when you start building your empire you will feel better about yourself, but you can leave it if you want. just take a stab at some things. the point is, "play an active role in changing yourself from the inside out and outside in" its not that hard just takes some building up and time.

You basically sound like every other person.