Voices finally made some sense today

usually, when i hear voices, it's hard to make sense out of what they say. They usually mumble, or say words/phrases with no meaning, or there are so many of them talking at once that i can't really hear what they say, or they just laugh or scream or sing stupid songs.

today, on my way to my therapy appointment, i started to hear some laughing and chattering in the backround. Then, i heard a strange voice of a girl. She started talking to me. She told me that her name was Katie or katrina . guess she could'nt make up her mind, or she was just trying to annoy me. She just kept saying i'm katie or Katrina. It was pretty funny.
She hasn't come back yet. Don't know if she will, but after all these years of hearing voices, it was nice to hear one that i could make sense out of and talk back to.

-Becka

That's nice to hear you're hearing someone.. I've never heard a voice so I don't know what it's like, I only see things...Devils, Trolls, Aliens, stuff like that. It's pretty cool I'd say. I don't like how cocky therapists are about themselves, I don't like therapists or psychiatrists, but I like psychiatrists better than therapists.

(so i dont see therapists anymore)

Nice to see u Becka,

Matt

hi matt,

yeah, i don't really have any trust in therapists or psychiatrists these days. I've been to about 15 different ones, all ended up being idiots and not really listening to me. The one i have right now, i just started seeing. She actually seems pretty nice and open-minded so far, but i don't know what will happen with that. I don't trust anyone.

I wish i could have more visual hallucinations than i do. The only things i see these days are shadows (mostly when i'm ind a darkened room), bugs on the walls, intense illusions (like, i look at a wall and i see evil faces and animals and such pop out at me from the patterns in the wall) I also see things move, like they are changing shape and pulsing, or sometimes i see things jump around.

I've only ever had a couple real big visuals. Once, when i was walking home from school, i looked in the window of a house to see a woman stairing at me. At first, i thought she was real, but when i looked back, i saw that her face was all whitish-blue, and her eyes were bulging out, and blood was running down her arm. Then, one night when i was taking a walk, i saw a bunch of arms reach out at me from behind the trees. And once, when i was driving, i saw a big, giant shadow figure running towards me and there were strange, red light surrounding him. It made me slam on the breaks.

I also get lots of weird bodily-hallucinations. for example, my body will feel like it is all distorted and mixed up, or i feel up-side-down, or i can;'t tell where my body stops and the world starts. I also get lots of possessed feelings, like other people are in my body with me, trying to take control of my arms and hands and pull me into another demension. Do you get any feelings like this?

-Becka

shadowsinme wrote:hi matt,

yeah, i don't really have any trust in therapists or psychiatrists these days. I've been to about 15 different ones, all ended up being idiots and not really listening to me. The one i have right now, i just started seeing. She actually seems pretty nice and open-minded so far, but i don't know what will happen with that. I don't trust anyone.

I wish i could have more visual hallucinations than i do. The only things i see these days are shadows (mostly when i'm ind a darkened room), bugs on the walls, intense illusions (like, i look at a wall and i see evil faces and animals and such pop out at me from the patterns in the wall) I also see things move, like they are changing shape and pulsing, or sometimes i see things jump around.

I've only ever had a couple real big visuals. Once, when i was walking home from school, i looked in the window of a house to see a woman stairing at me. At first, i thought she was real, but when i looked back, i saw that her face was all whitish-blue, and her eyes were bulging out, and blood was running down her arm. Then, one night when i was taking a walk, i saw a bunch of arms reach out at me from behind the trees. And once, when i was driving, i saw a big, giant shadow figure running towards me and there were strange, red light surrounding him. It made me slam on the breaks.

I also get lots of weird bodily-hallucinations. for example, my body will feel like it is all distorted and mixed up, or i feel up-side-down, or i can;'t tell where my body stops and the world starts. I also get lots of possessed feelings, like other people are in my body with me, trying to take control of my arms and hands and pull me into another demension. Do you get any feelings like this?

-Becka

Do you believe in telepathy ? Perhaps what you are experiencing could be telepathy.

I don't get feelings of being upside-down, or anything like that. I have had a bodily hallucination though, I got a feeling of being pushed up out of my hospital bed by tiny little hands all pushing up on my back. It was kinda like being massaged by 20 hands at once. That was the same time I saw the Alien and the Troll. It was really weird, I didn't freak out or nothing, I just looked at them, and then I kinda blacked out for awhile. My visions are really intense and It's better if I am on my meds I think because really how am I going to handle those hallucinations in real life as I am trying to do things. I get this intense feeling of something bad's going to happen before I hallucinate, so in the past I have turned myself into the hospital when I get that feeling.
It is pretty cool to be able to see an alien though. It looked completely real, it was greyish tan with a big head, big black eyes, tiny mouth and nose, and it was reaching out towards me before I blacked out.

Matt

I know what triggered my voices. I believed I was schizophrenic. When I stopped believing, the voices stopped.