Am I Developing Schizophrenia?

Ok so here is the things that others say bothers them about me, and why they all think I am schizophrenic.
I stopped attending public school and instead did online school, I am a 15 year old guy by the way and was in my Freshman year, I DID NOT DROP OUT.
I have no friends nor do I desire any.
Never had a girlfriend.
I cut myslelf, talk about homicide a lot, talk about suicide a lot, and I have "terroristic" views.
I have a problem with people, I always feel watched, followed, spied on, or that there are people trying to kill me all the time no matter where I go, even in the home but less so.
I get anxious and angry in social situations and I see a threat in just about every look, comment, remark, etc.
I have magickal thinking and I believe in things most consider to be fiction.
I WILL NOT eat around people.
I have many "obsessive" and "compulsive" behaviors, and I have many strange quirks and mannerisms according to most.
I typically have an opposite emotional reaction to things, I have laughed at funerals, I got angry when the "bad guy" looses or dies on a movie or book.
I don't really value people and I tend to mock society, I intentionally isolate myself.
I have a very "negative, pessimistic" outlook on life, and often times have I resolved to just kill as many as possible and then myself as well.
The ways I wanna commit suicide are very harsh and violent.
I hate my relatives and especially my parents even though they haven't done too much to warrant that.
Anyways, you tell me, do I seem schizophrenic, schizotypal, schizoid, etc. or what?

Do you experience things that others claim never happen?

edit; it sounds a bit more like schizoid personality disorder. Again, I am not a professional, and you should get checked out by one. My word is not trustworthy in this case. Good luck with this, and update us on things. Best wishes.

I was in the same boat as you are 15 years ago. I know...

The good news is things are going to change for the better as your grow up. It will take you years... it's been 15 for me, and I'm just getting my feet on the ground. So you can look at it this way... eventually I guarantee you're going to be better. Do you want to be better 5, 10, or 15 years from now?

Took me personally 15 to start acting like a decent kind human being. But it could of happened sooner. Sure... there will still be magik and a little mystery in your life but you don't have to be a slave to it. You can be above all that crap and realize that all humans have problems - most of them big ones. Learn to help by showing fearlessness, helping with food, or gifts of friendship, or just by listening. After 10-15 years of playing mind games... you'll see how good you will be at helping others with theirs.

peace

I can imagine your condition. maybe think about your obsession, and avoid it. your behaviour is probably from how you feel about yourself and society. would you care to become less pessimistic? if you could, would you want to think differently about life? you tell us that you don't really have trust with people and relationships. you don't want to feel spied on , followed or watched right? the truth is, do they? if you think so, consider it to be their problem and don't ever think more than just that. if only you wanted to be around people and talk to them. Then you can forget about the notion that they're watching or following you. to be in the presence of, or more people, you can feel safer. as long you control yourself with your suicidal thoughts, and focus on the life around you, .. for as long as you can?

Even if it's not skitzophrenia, or seen as such, please seek help.

Those feelings that you are experiencing must be absolutely terrible for you, and are something that you shouldn't have to endure or deal with. Just through reading your post, I can feel your pain. If you get some medical help then you'll probably be able to live a much happier life, now and for the future.

Suicidal thoughts are a big sign that something major is wrong, and I'm sure no-one here wants you to contemplate anything like that.

Please seek help from your doctor.

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