schizophrenia prodrome?

Hello,

I am a 21 year old male. During the last 4-5 months I have been watching myself mentally deteriorate. It started out with depression about my financial situation (I made all my money on eBay but had a sequence of bad luck along with some procrastination and bad decisions, so now I am in loads of debt). But when I really started freaking out about it (and looking for a job at the same time) something started changing in my mind. Now, when I try to think, it is like every thought is a voice in my head. I am trying to use the word voice very carefully becuase its not actually a voice, more of an imagined voice. It doesn't have any tone to it, its like you are getting ready to pronounce something, but don't actually say the words, putting thoughts in sentence form instead of actually thinking. This along with me constantly analyzing this in my head make it very hard to think clearly.

Now for the second part: The depression has become so bad I am disappointed when I wake up just because I'd rather be asleep than to deal with whats going on in my head. I've lost all my previous interests, and communicating is becoming very difficult, mostly because I don't have anything to say or can't respond quick enough and by that time its too late.

It is very hard to write this right now. I used to be fine intellectually, I was going to school for electrical engineering and was doing OK.

My short term memory is horrible (why did I come in here again??) and I'm forgetting long term stuff as well.

I started smoking weed, and very heavily every day for about 6 months when I moved out from parents with a friend and his buddy but stopped on may 18th because I wasnt having fun anymore when I was high, just more depressed and anxious (especially social anxiety), and when I found out it can trigger phychotic illnesses. I've lost the few friends I had. Now I'm back with parents and starting some temporary work at a factory that requires more physical labor than mental work.

my grandmother has schizophrenia.

I have always had a hard time socially but I did have a few friends and my self confidence went way up after high school.

My thoughts are so random and I can't look past the immediate or connect thoughts together to think logically any more. I can ask questions and make comments about obvious things, but thats about it.

I have done a lot of research about depression and schizophrenia. and I don't want to diagnose myself I know this is bad and only makes me feel more depressed but theres not much more I am interested in right now.

Also I have trouble speaking without resorting to a monotone voice (I can imagine how to say it in my head, but it never comes out right and I sound blunt and rude to people)

Do these symptoms sound familiar to anyone who either has the disease or know someone who does?

Also, if I do have it, do things get better after phychosis and treatment with medication? I am talking about the negative symptoms, did you find you had more motivation after recovery than the pre-phychotic phase?

Also, can severe depression do this to you as well? Its like now I'm just depressed about the depression and fear of going insane, but my financial trouble is still bugging me as well.

Also, has anyone tried antidepressants to treat negative symptoms or prodromal symptoms with any success?

Thanks in advance for any reply.

Justin

First of all - stop smoking weed. It will only worsen the problem and lead to further mental instability. Weed is a fine herb if you are stable, something that allows you to see beyond your own ego - but it is also a potentially dangerous herb if you are not stable. It will unravel your mind and body, and the smoke is very harmful to inner peace. What you have to do is find your inner peace, this means exploration of inner self through self-discipline and self-improvement.

Who knows what your symptoms are symptomatic of, and as you said you don't feel in harmony with yourself so there is dysfunction somewhere. I would start by reading my thread, "Understanding schizophrenia and alternative therapy" and applying the procedures i outlined there. It is perfect for you, and I would expect almost immediate results.

You must immediately get some fish oil, start with 2g of epa/dha a day which will be about 8 grams of fish oil. Either capsules or oil, which ever you feel more comfortable with. Enteric coated capsules will bypass the stomach and produce no burpy fishy smells.

Secondly, DHEA is a powerful neuroactive hormone that will treat the negative symptoms, which are a result mostly of social defeat and isolation. 20mg a day, either transdermally or sublingually to bypass liver metabolism.

Thirdly, creatine monohydrate is great for physical and mental energy. 5g a day is the recommended dosage.

Read my thread and understand that to improve you must improve your body. As your body improves, ie. you join a gym, work out, lose weight etc. your mind will follow.

Good luck.