What do I do now?

A few months ago I was diagnosed with social anxiety and borderline psychosis. Since then, I've got progressively worse, and because my therapy doesn't start for another few months, I am getting quite worried about my behaviour.

I've started to develop beliefs that I truly believe - that my close friends are really working with a sinister and powerful creature to try and harm me, that my sister has been sent by the devil to watch me, and that my parents have already decided my future and there is nothing I can do about it. Things have got pretty out of hand - last week I brought a butcher's knife to bed because I thought my sister would come into my room in the night and try to attack me. I've also started to not say anything to my friends, or even family, in case they may use it to sabotage my plans.

I was wondering if there was something, anything, that I can do between now and the beginning of therapy which can reduce these thoughts as much as possible. They are becoming extremely obtrusive, and very believable.

You need to call the clinic where your therapy is going to start in a few months and tell them what you are feeling. I have feeling they will squeeze you in earlier if you are getting that bad. If not you could ask your regular doctor to prescribe something in the mean time. They may or may not.

If you get the feeling that you are actually going to hurt someone you NEED to call the cops and tell them that so they can take you to a hospital. I hate the hospital myself but it is better than living with the guilt of hurting someone. They will medicate you there and give you enough meds until you start therapy or call your therapist to move up your therapy day.

By the way when you say therapy you are going to see a psychiatrist as well right? A regular therapist cannot prescribe which is what you need.

Other than that there is not much to do. I mean in the future you can avoid triggers such as reading about dark entities and tv shows but that's about it. I don't think it's going to get any better without treatment if you are to the point of taking a knife to bed. I have been where you have been it will only get worse without treatment. Do something now while you are lucid enough to know what you are doing.

Thanks for your reply. A few months ago, during the summer vacation, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and borderline psychosis (not an official diagnosis - but means I was showing signs of schizophrenia but wasn't responding to them like I was psychotic) however since then I have got progressively worse, and the above things mentioned are the things that have been most affecting me.

I'm going to psychiatrist within a week, and it seems likely now that I will be diagnosed with medication. However, I am worrying that they may poison my medication, and I am very reluctant to go there. I really do believe these thoughts. Not only that, but my voices inside my head are becoming more prominent, and more frequent. I feel as if I am only an incident away from lashing out at someone because of my mindset. I really hope I'm not developing an onset of psychosis: I've tried so hard to think straight over the summer but it hasn't worked.

When I was reading your post I thought schizophrenia as well but I am no doctor so I didn't want to say that. I have paranoid schizophrenia. For your medication if you say well you guys are poisoning me all they will do is up the dose. Don't say that. Say instead, I am very sensitive to medication and am afraid of side effects, if possible might I start on a lower dose and progress from there?

I think if you don't have as many side effects you won't feel like anyone is poisoning you. I will warn you some meds have nasty side effects. Make sure you tell your doctor immedietly. It would be hard to poison meds if you really think about it. I mean if you yourself pick them up from the pharmacy how would they be able to if the tablet is already formed? Try to think about it that way. You go and pick up the prescription. You get one of those neat little pill organizing cases and set a recurring alarm on your cell phone. You give it to yourself. Maybe that will make you feel better.

As you're feeling that you may harm someone, it's essential that you get help sooner rather than later. Please take yourself to your nearest hospital asap where you can get immediate care.

Thanks for your replies. I went to the psychiatrist and they seemed to believe that this was a combination of OCD, social anxiety, and depression. I was prescribed to prozac but decided that the possiblity of having permanent sexual dysfunction from using it (I'm a teenager) was too big a risk. I'm going to start CBT next month and unless things get bad won't have to use medication.

Did you let your psychiatrist know that you will not be taking the Prozac? You have to let him know so he can prescribe something else. I don't think your issues will be helped with just therapy at this point. I will sit there with my psychiatrist and have them go over all possible side effects until we both agree on a particular drug. You have to be honest. That is the only way to get help.

I will inform the psychiatrist when I begin CBT on Monday. If I am to take medication, it won't be an SSRI because the prospect of having a permanent sexual dysfunction is too much to bare. Because I am a teenager, they probably won't prescribe me to anything major: even the dose of Prozac they wanted to put me on was less than the normal amount.

if you feel as though you are going to hurt someone, call the police and tell them you need to be taken to a hospital. I know it sounds bad, but they can take you to get the help you need.

That's good football. Be honest about what you are willing and unwilling to take