Earliest signs

I am a frequenter of the schizoid forums. I've never been to this forum, so hello. I have read that having Schizoid Personality Disorder is correlated with an increased risk of developing schizophrenia. Being that I am young (21 years old), this obviously applies to me because I am not old enough to say 'if I haven't developed it now, I probably won't'. I have a small, irrational, fear of developing psychosis/schizophrenia.

I was wondering if some of you could enlighten me on your experience with the earliest stages of psychosis. I have read warning signs on various websites, but I would like very much to know what your experiences were like, starting at the very earliest stages, before you realized there was a problem. I am hoping that with your shared experiences, I can gain a greater knowledge of the beginnings of psychosis. And with this knowledge, I can either lay my fears to rest for now, or accept the (probably marginal) possibility of eventually regressing to schizophrenia. Thank you to all who answer.

Also, I occasionally (once in a blue moon) feel like there is an invisible presence either at the end of my bed or in the corner by my bedroom door, and that this invisible presence wants to either slit my throat or steal my soul. I realize that this is irrational, especially since I do not believe in the supernatural or souls. This only occurs at night time, and rarely as I said before. I also sometimes think that I hear sounds in my house when I have my headphones in, listening to music. This also only occurs at night, and at hours where nobody in the house would be awake (usually anywhere between 1am and 4am). This happens more frequently. My best descriptions are that it will sound like someone bumped into something or a slightly creaky floorboard or a door opening, but the sound is dulled by the music playing. When I take my headphones out, I cannot hear anyone walking or making noise.

Are these signs that I should be concerned about? Or am I over-thinking this?

Slight paranoia that gradually gets worse and worse was one of the first warning signs that I should have paid more attention that something was wrong with me, same with hearing things..

in the beginning it was being paranoid about events and people, like people were plotting against me.I also heard things (doors opening-whispering) saw things (strange things in paintings-shadowy men at the edge of my vision.) I also had the impression there were people present watching me.Mine was a very gradual decline over a long time. I was originally diagnosed with BP11 as well as ADD and DID and eventually schizophrenia. Because of the mood component of my schizophrenia I have now been diagnosed with schizoaffective D, which I think is just a type of schizophrenia anyway.Only a professional can answer the question you ask, avoid self diagnosis.

kenny66 wrote: avoid self diagnosis.

I think you misunderstand me. I am not looking for a diagnosis. I simply wish to be more aware, and I wish to know if these peculiarities are something potentially serious or not. I have a schizophrenic friend, but she does not like to talk about the beginning of her schizophrenia (she was a child anyways), so talking about this with her isn't possible.

I have a small fear of becoming psychotic, and wish to either lay my fear to rest, or to know if there could potentially be a problem in the future. Being uncertain isn't a good idea in anything. I also do not like talking to 'the professionals' (I just got back from talking to one of those professionals). It is not that I doubt their skills and education, I simply have very high standards of privacy. It is easier to talk to strangers in a forum about my problems.

@zach_31, what would you categorize these things I mentioned as? mild paranoia? mild psychosis? Nothing out of the ordinary? I feel like I am overstating these things, but I feel like you guys would know best whether these are actual problems, or something normal that I should stop worrying about.

cobra cat wrote:

kenny66 wrote: avoid self diagnosis.

I think you misunderstand me. I am not looking for a diagnosis. I simply wish to be more aware, and I wish to know if these peculiarities are something potentially serious or not. I have a schizophrenic friend, but she does not like to talk about the beginning of her schizophrenia (she was a child anyways), so talking about this with her isn't possible.

I have a small fear of becoming psychotic, and wish to either lay my fear to rest, or to know if there could potentially be a problem in the future. Being uncertain isn't a good idea in anything. I also do not like talking to 'the professionals' (I just got back from talking to one of those professionals). It is not that I doubt their skills and education, I simply have very high standards of privacy. It is easier to talk to strangers in a forum about my problems.

@zach_31, what would you categorize these things I mentioned as? mild paranoia? mild psychosis? Nothing out of the ordinary? I feel like I am overstating these things, but I feel like you guys would know best whether these are actual problems, or something normal that I should stop worrying about.

I would say sounds like mild paranoia what you are describing but I'm no expert on this. I can only go off from my experiences.. When I first started to get bad like with paranoia I was utterly convinced people were in my house, poisoning my food and planting listening devices everywhere in my house... I would stay in my small walk in closet for hours at a time cause it turned into a safe haven type of place for me. I was hearing people whispering outside the closet, banging on the doors, running upstairs and downstairs... I still go through that a lot but I am better at ignoring it all and with the medication I am on it helps me realise what is real and what isn't.

If you are that worried about the things you are going through you should go talk to a professional.. But going off what I have read if I was you I would just try to relax a bit more and if it got worse maybe deal with it from there

Zach_31 wrote:When I first started to get bad like with paranoia I was utterly convinced people were in my house, poisoning my food and planting listening devices everywhere in my house...

I remember when you posted about the Australian government poisoning our water and that you had been told you were the person who could stop it. Scary stuff from an audience perspective but I imagine it would have been much more frightening to experience it firsthand.

Platypus wrote:

Zach_31 wrote:When I first started to get bad like with paranoia I was utterly convinced people were in my house, poisoning my food and planting listening devices everywhere in my house...

I remember when you posted about the Australian government poisoning our water and that you had been told you were the person who could stop it. Scary stuff from an audience perspective but I imagine it would have been much more frightening to experience it firsthand.

Yeah that is what led to me getting locked up in hospital for the first time..

Zach_31 wrote:But going off what I have read if I was you I would just try to relax a bit more and if it got worse maybe deal with it from there

Okay then, bury the issue for now and see what happens. Thanks for your answers.

Hello,

From my research it is social seclusion that is the main first indicator of schizophrenia. Although this is not always the case as schizophrenia in its onset and symptoms is highly individual. However, not engaging in social activities, going out and isolating yourself are typical precursors to the illness.

Schizophrenia is a mixture of positive and negative symptoms. The positive symptoms are mainly delusions and halucinations, where the negative symptoms are mainly related to social functioning such as loss of motivation and poverty of speech. If you feel that you have experienced either positive or negative symptoms then go see your doctor as soon as possible.

As a footnote I am not one who thinks that those with schizoid personality disorder will develop fully blown schizophrenia. Schizoids often lead highly successful lives such as Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein. But if you think you are having hallucinations then visit your doctor.

morrissey30_5 wrote:Hello,

From my research it is social seclusion that is the main first indicator of schizophrenia. Although this is not always the case as schizophrenia in its onset and symptoms is highly individual. However, not engaging in social activities, going out and isolating yourself are typical precursors to the illness.

Schizophrenia is a mixture of positive and negative symptoms. The positive symptoms are mainly delusions and halucinations, where the negative symptoms are mainly related to social functioning such as loss of motivation and poverty of speech. If you feel that you have experienced either positive or negative symptoms then go see your doctor as soon as possible.

As a footnote I am not one who thinks that those with schizoid personality disorder will develop fully blown schizophrenia. Schizoids often lead highly successful lives such as Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein. But if you think you are having hallucinations then visit your doctor.

Thanks for your response. I do not believe most schizoids will develop schizophrenia. I think the percentage of schizoids this happens to is very slim. I don't have hard facts to back that opinion up. My fear of becoming schizophrenic is most likely irrational. Still, my reasons for being worried are not (IMO). Schizoid personality disorder already shares most of the negative symptoms of schizophrenia, so you already know I meet them. Also, in addition to the two things I mentioned in my initial post, I have developed a stutter (though it isn't very frequent). I don't remember when it started, but it was at least a year ago. I had a mild stutter when I was a kid, but it went away by the time I was a teenager. I will momentarily slur my speech (least common), pronounce a syllable wrong (most common), or simply stop mid word for a few seconds, and then re-say the word. I don't know if that counts as alogia or not (probably not) but I figure you guys would know better. But if it does count, that would mean that I have all 5 of the negative symptoms commonly associated with schizophrenia. Then there are the things I mentioned above, which could or could not be significant.

Truth be told, I feel like I am making a big deal out of little things, but if they are indicative of a bigger problem then I would like to be aware of the potential problem as early as possible.