phychosis positive outlook this insight thing of psychiatry

Does anyone else out there get this...

That psychosis has with it intense outlook and response to desiring achieving supreme consciousness, I can barely even remember-Or is that a symptom of mania.... Like I get really inspired and begin to take on a greater affinity with perfecting life---yet it comes with obstacles [that later get determined persecutory delusions, yet they're mistaken in representing insight into my apreciation of growth oportunity for deaing with very real feelings about my place in the world influences through family triggers to repressed states of being-isn;t this more schizotypal, I truly appreciate my independence] and karmic like events in consciousness- -I start to dream about talking to other entities, it came on vaguely like I would describe it as meeting beings on the astral realm...Not sure of the lingo but it sounds like I'm talking about hallucinations--I also get a lot of sleep deprivation- its intoxicating and because of distortions of energy and sensitivity to rushes of falling asleep, also traumatic memories and daydreaming about them, my mind is very visual...Is this even psychosis?

Another trigger for the sleep deprivation cycle if not even being a night owl by nature, I get into the moon, have learnt that the moon represents truth and integrity power, I am quite sensitive to full moons. In trying to sleep just stirrs the more visual inner life of consciousness and dreams star happening and it extends into my space through conscious awareness of this dream land or astral. Because I say I meet with angels through intention and even go places in consciousness that projects into outer-space to meet with Extra-terrestrials who projected themselves into my visions, It was a marvelous world shot down by progression into a nightmare and worlds i didn;t want to surround me in isolation - can you be intoxicated by isolation to the point of absorbing in a maladaptive daydreaming state that extends to major disorganisation and even dissociation and lapses in time where so occupied in dream that a whole nght flashes by in constant accupation ---these not necessarily hallucination, but this dream world did represent some lucidity in my awareness of space in two separate worlds.
With trauma came self transcendence and opening of spiritual perceptions, i only ever began learning about yoga for this purpose yet it was a desire that must come with it karmic trials for polishing integrity, so much of my life purpose was of becoming more spiritual in the sense of obtaining virtue to a sense of order in the universe...This increases sensitivity to having anxiety in hospital and some social settings predominantly intrusive to my freedom to achieve a blissful state or euphoria, In most settings when I can be calm and compliant until those with the power to force drugs on me for life come into the picture some less hospitable states of emotional response to the situation that is increasingly oppressive with forced drug treatments in the name of the science of medicine...bla..

I used to have aspirations that die when put on the drugs for psychosis, like getting back into sport before i got to old, at a critical time I could have channeled my inspiration toward mental health through alternative means like exercise, I knew it would work and give me something to focus on and strive toward, among other personal aspirations to perfecting life and getting in touch with my higher self.
I been on rants lately about this insight thing, so what is the advantage in insight for the life and mental welbeing of the patient, if not from a perspective that it isn't an illlness more importantly with medical requirements

Especially insight into the affects of psychiatric drugs that get marketed as signs and symptoms of typical schizophrenics....I'm pretty sure if they did long term trials on healthy subjects would find that they are chronically suffering cognitive decline and a kind of depression, psycho-motor retardation, neuroleptic induced deficit syndrome+Negative symptoms of schizophrenia..Yet there is an ethical concern...

My personality is inclined toward self-transcendence yet a psychiatrist wouldn't know what it means and would probably say its a symptom of schizophrenia, since when has everything been a symptom of a disease, especially considering I was wanting to excel, yet to excess in not a culturally acceptable consensus reality for expectation of being human. Hence the self transcendence thing, I even started learning High magic as opposed to low magic, high magic is inclined toward connecting with the universe and its power, opening new perception...perhaps the catalyst for desire to perform alchemy [and inner alchemy of taoism] but over neuroplasticity to tune my spiritual perception..

BTW anything I say that is spiritual is considered a delusion by the mental health profession , currently--I doubt I would last long in the moment in hospital to make a stand against psychiatry but thats kinda contributed to landing me back into hospital since all my resentments at a life lost of meaning lay with guilt for psychiatry destroying my potential and prognosis as a healthy and successful individual, now with family concerns and their reliance on psychiatry any time I challenge the fabric of existence in the consensus norm and following the herd. Or maybe they thought they would miss me- -Yeah that contributes to isolation anxiety fixated on concepts of the reality of my existence and how much better it could be with justice and revolution on personal level with concepts to the larger whole and identification with primal forces that might dismay the dreamer, maybe its about fear and developing warriorship and discipline like life is a moving meditation--some see it so deep in the world around them