What would you say?

I'm not currently on Paxil or Seroquel now but was on a high dose YEARS ago. I am doing terrible now (depression/anxiety) and was considering getting back on it but came and reread old threads of mine. When the dr mentioned the word schizophrenic and the word bi-polar, I got scared and didn't go back.

I have a question. People talk about hearing voices and it is hard to explain this but I want to see if what happens w/me is normal...

I'll be at home and think I heard my name called or "come here" or something similar. This happens regularly.

I also have conversations in my head but always assumed it is normal and something everyone does. It's all thoughts though (no outloud speaking). I'll hear "what are you going to do?" in my head and I'll answer "I dont know" (silently/in my head) or when I am really down and out I'll hear "maybe you should just end it/kill yourself" and i'll reply "i can't" or something like that (with the exception of the time I did try).

There is more to the story but I don't want people to think I am crazy. The whole bi-polar or schizophrenia thing has been mentioned to me before. I usually flee and don't return to that doctor for several years but it keeps coming up.

I don't want to explain everything because I don't want to be crazy or have others think I am.

I had been thinking for a while (recently that is) that God was talking to me because I knew and saw nobody else heard what I hear. Recently though I've started seeing shadows resembling people on my walls so now I am thinking the house is perhaps haunted or something? Ever seen Ghost Adventures, they say ghosts resemble shadows.

My father didn't get a lot of medical treatment but my sister tells me he was bi-polar. I know he was a drug addict and alcoholic too but I don't know much else because he committed suicide about 10 years ago.

I am 32 years old. The things that I notice happening around me now are happening more often. My depression is off of the hook and my anxiety is terrible too.

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks and my anxiety is acting up because I don't want to tell them everything. I know I shouldn't lie but, it is hard.

What do you think could be going on with me?

Any guess as to what they'll do? What medication they'll prescribe if any?

Hello aaric

I think It's best if you tell the doctor everything, get some treatment and meds.

Christer

Something I would highly recommend is changing your diet to something very safe. I was depressed/anxious for years and became a vegan and cut gluten from my diet as well. Now I feel almost 100% again.

The theory is that some people have a problem breaking down certain proteins. In my case gluten/casein. These proteins become something called exomorphins which cross the blood brain barrier to become morphine and when you're not ON morphine (or eating something that turns into it) you become depressed, anxious and in extreme cases, delusional. There's also a couple old studies where a doctor removed gluten from the diets of all of his schizophrenic patients and saw dramatic improvements in basically all of them. I read that in a fairly recent book about how gluten affects our lives today.

So definitely try the diet thing out before switching to meds because they are really harsh on your body

I'm also not sure if you believe in God but it couldn't hurt to start praying! After seeing a positive result from prayer or faith, trusting in God is key.

Just give it time.

Don't feel ashamed or that people will look down on you as crazy...I think it would help you to see a doctor and this time don't flee...try the medications they can really help you...people try to stigmatize taking medication for brain or psychiatric illness but they think its fine for cancer or diabetes...this is prejudice and ignorance, so just see a doctor bipolar and schizophrenia are medical issues, ..good luck

You said if you are really down and out that things get worse and that's when you think about suicide.

This leads me to believe that anxiety is one of your main problems.

Don't drink a lot of coffee. Don't smoke cigarettes. Try to flip everything into a positive. Excercise regularly, even if it's just walking. Even being out in the sunlight I think helps (unfortunately it's winter now) but...yeah, there is still sunlight

Eat healthy. You don't have to be an organic health food person or go vegan or whatever, just try to eat a bit healthier if you don't already.

Slowly try to change your through process as far as those conversations in your head. Don't answer yourself as much. Think about if the questions are important or not. Like for instance "What are you going to do?" Does it matter right now? Maybe you are worrying about things that might happen in the future that really don't need to be worried about. Right now is right now. Yeah, it's good to plan a bit but don't boast yourself of tomorrow, because you never know what a day may bring!

Practice peace with yourself and with all people. There are bound to be some people that are going to piss you off, and that happens to all of us..but the more you practice it, the better it will become..like anything!

Seek counsel from people that you know that are positive and/or wiser than yourself.